


Addicted To Love

by lanieloveu



Category: Fifty Shades of Grey - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-24 07:27:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 79,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6146116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanieloveu/pseuds/lanieloveu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anastasia Steele is on the verge of losing it all, including boyfriend Jacob Riley who can't wait to propose and make her his wife. But he is unable to satisfy her needs. Can the stranger who rescues her one night show her how to gain control of her dark desires, or will they overtake her as she becomes torn between two men wanting her affection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Addicted To Love

Disclaimer: The Fifty shades of Grey characters used in this story belong to E.L. James only the story belongs to me.

 

Addicted to Love

Ana's POV

"Is this what you want Ms. Steele?"

My master looks down at me while dangling his gray tie. I look up with nothing but a desperate need for him.

"Yes, please, Master," I beg him. My husky voice is unfamiliar to me.

I hold my wrists together as he secures his tie tightly around them. He yanks my arms hard above my head, stretching me so that I am helplessly laid out naked before him. He secures my hands to the bedpost above me and I squirm under his intense stare. My breath is heavy with anticipation. I lean my head back to expose my neck as he gently nips and sucks it.

I want to moan but Master won't allow it. So I bite down hard on my lip instead.

He bites and sucks every inch of me as he travels down to my over sensitive breast. He takes his time as he suckles one and then the other, biting the nipple so hard that I swear he draws blood. I cry out in ecstasy.

"Mmmmmm, my naughty girl," Master says.

I know I'm to be punished because I've displeased him. I shake my head no. Seeing this, he leans down and touches my right ear with his lips.

"Are you my naughty girl, Anastasia," he demands to know. The vibration I feel from his voice travels right down to my groin and I nearly cum. "Shall I stop now?"

"Oh no Master, I'm your good girl. Please, please don't stop," I beg. I'm close to crying. "Please, may I cum?"

He once again travels down my body. My hips buck up to meet him as his mouth hovers above my sex. He nips and sucks my clit with determination, using his long fingers to delve into me, dipping in and out quickly soaking his fingers with my juices.

"Oh, Master, I'm so close. Please don't stop. Please. Please don't stop," I cry out unable to control myself.

Just as my muscles tighten to signal the start of my orgasm, he abruptly stops his ministration, causing me to strain against my restraints.

"Oh no, Master. Please," I cry out. My body is screaming for release. I lift my hips high off the bed hoping to make contact with his mouth.

"Anastasia," he warns me. I still myself immediately. "Are you my good girl?"

"Mmmmmm, yes Master, I'm your good girl," I say as I squirm. God he makes me so wet when he says that.

"Then stay quiet," He commands.

He gets up to retrieve the vibrator we left on my kitchen table before he carried me to bed. I start to rub my legs together to create some type of stimulation.

Ohh I really need to cum.

"Uh uh," he chastised me. "Your orgasms belong to me, Ms. Steele."

He climbs back on top of me, vibrator in hand, and he suddenly places it full blast and hard on my clit. He moves it up and down over and over again causing me to climb so deliciously high and I begin to spiral out of control.

"O….!" I begin to scream out as my orgasm closes in. I don't want him to stop again, so I bite my lip to keep quiet.

He slaps my inner thigh hard with his hand and that sends me right over the edge. I cum forcefully and as I do he bites down on my clit. When he releases it, I begin to squirt all over my Master.

He takes his hand and brushes my clit back and forth with his fingers splashing my cum all over my thighs and drenching the bed.

"Mmmmmm, that's what I like, my sweet girl," he tells me. "Give it to me. Squirt those juices all over me baby."

My body is convulsing as my orgasm continues to rip through me.

He doesn't stop until I am dripped dry. Then he settles himself on top of me. He runs his dick up and down my sex getting it wet. He flicks my overly stimulated clit and I cry out in delight. He does this over and over again pushing me closer to the edge once again.

"Master," I breathe out desperately seeking permission to cum.

"Not yet, Anastasia," he commands me to wait as he slaps my thigh. I grip the bed railing and bite down on my bottom lip, trying desperately not to cum.

I don't want to disappoint my Master, but I can't hold on much longer. My body begins to shake. He continues to flick my clit with his dick as he jacks himself off. Just when I'm about to lose control he yells for me to cum and oh, I do.

I yell for my Master over and over again as I am completely overtaken by blissful sensations.

He collapses on top of me panting hard and sweating. I beam with pride knowing that I have pleased him.

"Oh Ms. Steele, what I'm I going to do with you? Are you ever going to let me fuck you properly? I can make you cum so much harder," he says smiling down at me. I am about to respond to him, but the figure I see standing in the door way now has me frozen with fear.

So lost in the moment, I didn't even hear when he opened the door. I am not even sure as to how long he's been standing there.

He looks at my master. He then looks over at me, tied naked to the bed. Our eyes lock for just a moment before he turns and closes the door behind him.


	2. Flashback To A Happier Time

Addicted To Love

Chapter 2

Flashback to a Happier Time

Ana's POV

I cannot believe that I, Anastasia Rose Steele, have landed an internship at my company of choice Seattle Independent Publishing. Not bad for a small town girl fresh out of college. To top it all off, the love of my life, my wonderful boyfriend, Jacob (J.R.) Reilly has finally been promoted to manager of the restaurant where we first met a little over a year ago. He was working as the Maitre'd back then.

My good friends Kate, Julie, and I were having dinner there one night when he came over to introduce himself. I found him very attractive. He was tall, lean, with jet black hair that fell down in waves just long enough to brush his neck. He had dark brown eyes and a lopsided smile that brighten his whole face.

Julie was practically drooling over him, so Kate and I kept quiet as she did the talking. It was more like shameless flirting that we had to sit and endure. We actually thought he was interested in her since most guys are.

Julie is stunning.

Don't get me wrong, Kate is gorgeous and I think I look okay too. But Julie looks like she just stepped off the cover of Maxim Magazine. If based on looks, she and Jacob complement each other well.

Kate and I got really giddy when he made his intensions known and asked me if I had a boyfriend. Being pleased that I didn't, he flashed a smile and asked me out. I was a little insulted when Julie just about fell out of her chair in disbelief.

J.R, as he lets me call him, and I hit it off right away.

We found out we have a lot in common. He is an only child and was raised by a single parent the same as I. Although born in Australia, he moved to a small town on the east coast when he was ten. After his parents divorced he was raised mostly by his mother. He doesn't like his father too much and rarely speaks about him, but from what little he's told me, I can understand why.

Our relationship got serious pretty quickly. We've been living together for a few months now and are planning to get married once we are both more settled in our careers.

J.R. is an amazingly patient and understanding man who is willing to wait until our wedding night to make love to me. I told him that it's always been my dream to give my virginity to my husband.

Although that was true in the beginning, as our relationship progressed it became an easy excuse to avoid the real reasons. I am terrified that if he ever finds me out, I will lose him forever. So I keep him at arm's length until I can figure out how to fix the fucked up mess that is my life.

As a child, I was not really affectionate. Although I was very girly, I was not the huggie/ feelie type. I was never really comfortable with people touching me unless it was for rough housing. I use to play really rough as a kid, so much so that I was mislabeled a tomboy by everyone who knew me. But it's more than that. I liked the pain. I'm not for sure when I became aware that pain made me feel good. I would watch kids hurt themselves and cry all the time, but I rarely did. As I got older it was just dismissed as me having a higher tolerance for it.

Now, the thing I have to hide from J.R. is that pain is the only thing that turns me on.

Being gentle, which is what he insists on, does nothing for me and in fact turns me completely off.

All the petting and canoodling leaves me frustrated and unsatisfied. I have tried many times to explain this to him, but he simply can't wrap his head around the fact that a person, especially the girl that he loves, needs to be hurt physically and wants him to inflict her with pain.

He refuses to go beyond a little love tap on my behind during our foreplay. More and more, it is becoming a huge problem in our otherwise happy relationship. I am terrified of losing him because of my own selfish needs, but also because of his unwillingness to at least try, but I believe I have found a solution to our problem.

Kate once had this "sugar daddy" as she called him. Some middle aged married guy with three kids, named Milton. He was going through some kind of crisis and needed to relive his glory days she guessed. Anyway, they broke up because he was into BDSM.

Once she explained to me what that was I had an epiphany: If I could get J.R. to see that there are people who are into those types of things and it's really okay as long as it's all consensual, then maybe he'd be more willing to try.

I wanted to see if Milton would be willing to talk to J.R, but Kate said that Milton was into the real hardcore shit and it would most likely scare the hell out of him. She suggested I learn a little bit about it myself first, that way I could broach the subject with J.R. and see if he would be willing to experiment. She told me about this invitation only club called Chains that Milton would take her to.

It disgusted me to think that while his wife and kids were up waiting for him at home, he was in some club's dungeon beating on and screwing with Kate. Now at first she was cool with it, because she loved all of the shiny expensive things he bought for her, but when he started trying to ram his fist up her A-hole, she'd pretty much had enough.

Frank, the club's bartender, and Kate's new play thing has agreed to give me an invitation so that I can check the place out. His only warning was to keep my gaze to the floor as much as possible. So I decided to head over. Kate was suppose to come with me but she had to bail because said boytoy bartender guy has invited her to spend the weekend down in LA with his parents.

So here I am, on a Saturday night, sitting in this damn club instead of at the movies with Julie, which is where I told J.R. I was headed.

So far there's nothing out of the ordinary. I was prepared for it to be like a movie I saw about this kinky club from the seventies, Studio 54. I really thought it would be nothing but costumes and a whole lot of whips, chains, sex, and leather. It seems to be just regular people having a few drinks and coupling. I noticed people heading in and out of a back area, so I make my way there.

I end up all the way at the back of the club where I come across a corridor of rooms. I enter into the first door and there's a crowd of people, men and woman, standing around watching what I now know to be a scene.

There is a girl completely naked and blindfolded. She is bound spread eagle to some kind of contraption. She is screaming out at what I at first mistake as pain.

She is being whipped by an overweight man dressed in an all black leather getup with a hood that makes him look like The Executioner. Over and over again this man is whipping this girl and she begins to yell and moan with pleasure. She can barely contain herself.

She's begging and crying for the man to let her cum. I stand there in the crowd gapping at this scene. I am surprised that listening to her constant moaning is arousing me. I bite down hard on my bottom lip and squirm a little, pressing my thighs together. My moisture begins to seep into my panties making me very wet and uncomfortable. I feel self conscious and my breathing becomes quick and shallow. I need to get out before I embarrass myself. I start to back away and as I do I bump right into a large chest. I turn around quickly and look right into a pair of familiar eyes.

"I'm sorry," I say as I remember myself and cast my eyes to the floor.

"Let me take you out of here," He says and offers me his hand, which I gladly accept. He leads me back to the bar and orders me some type of fruity little drink.

"Thank you," I say.

With my eyes looking down at the bar, I swirl my drink around with the straw.

"You may look at me," He says and I quickly glance up at his face. "What's your name?"

I can't give him my real name. Thinking quickly I come up with one.

"Julie," I say triumphantly and he smirks at me.

"Is that your real name, Julie," he asks.

"Yes, yes it is," I say, nodding my head

"I haven't seen you in here before… Julie… I'm sure I would have remembered," he tells me.

"Oh this is my first time here," I explain. "I was just curious. I wanted to check things out. I'm not into…I mean, I'm not….I haven't….." I stammer on. My brain is unable to get my mouth to stop talking.

"You're not into BDSM then. You seemed so…..affected by the scene in there," He says, eyeing me up and down creeping me out.

"Oh I don't know, I guess I was just shocked that's all," I say getting up from the barstool.

"Anyway, thanks for the drink Mr.…., I pause for him to answer even though I already know who he is. I see him every day at work. I guess I'm not important enough at SIP yet for him to bother to remember me.

"Hyde," He says, holding out his hand for me to shake. "Jack Hyde and you are very welcome, Julie. You're not leaving already?"

He is now refusing to relinquish my hand.

"Yeah, I think so. Ummm it's been fun and all, but I don't think this is what I'm looking for so take care Mr. Hyde," I say as I turn to leave, but suddenly he is off of his stool and pulling me to him so that I stubble backwards into his chest. I try to regain my balance but he locks me in place and I am unable to move.

"Oh no, no, no sweet thing," He whispers in my ear. "We're just getting started. That drink I bought you wasn't free."

You have got to be kidding me! Is that all he thinks it takes?

"Let go of me," I say, trying not to call attention to myself, but at the same time wanting to get my point across that I wasn't into whatever this game was he was playing at.

"I believe the lady isn't interested," the man who had been sitting a few seats down from us says as he pulls me out of Hyde's grasp and steadies me on my feet.

I look up at the gentleman who has come to my rescue and catch my breath. He is by far the most beautiful man I have ever seen and I can't help but stare into his amazingly gray eyes. He, on the other hand is now staring daggers at Hyde. After a beat, Hyde downs his drink and gives me a strange look. I guess deciding I'm not worth the trouble, he begins to back way. But before he leaves he turns to me and says, "See you at work on Monday, Anastasia Steele."

Oh crap!

"Are you all right, Anastasia," the gray eyed God looks down at me with concern showing all over his face.

"Yes, Sir. Thank you for helping me out," I say.

His eyes suddenly darken. Closing them, he inhales deeply.

"Let's get you out of here, Anastasia," he says as he places his hand on the small of my back and leads me out of the club into the dark secluded street.

"What did you think you were doing in there," he says, as he and some other gentleman, who he introduces, as Taylor his driver, walk me to my car.

"I was just curious Misterrrrr…what did you say you're name was," I ask. He tells me to call him Mr. Grey.

"I just wanted to check things out Mr. Grey. My friend told me about this place and I was just umm, Curious," I say again.

"This isn't the type of place to satisfy simple curiosities, Anastasia, what you just wandered into was hard core! GO HOME! And never come back here again without your DOM, do I make myself clear," he demands as he ushers me into my car.

"But I don't have a Dom, Sir," I say as a climb in to the driver's seat.

He waits patiently, looking on as I drive away. I catch sight of him in my rearview talking animatedly on his phone. I wonder briefly what he's so worked up about.

I make it home. I shower, slip on my pajamas, and crawl into bed. J.R. turns and instinctively wraps his arms around me in his sleep. I drift off to sleep with the image of Mr. Grey still fresh in my mind. Instead of dreaming about the dark haired man with his arms wrapped protectively around me, I dream only of copper hair and gray eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive all overlooked mistakes  
> Thank you for reading and commenting


	3. Ana's Shades

Addicted To Love

Chapter 3

Ana's Shades

Ana's POV

The rest of my weekend goes by in a blur and soon enough it's Monday morning again. I walk in to SIP hoping to get through the day without seeing Jack Hyde. But as luck would have it, I am asks to get his signature on some paperwork.

I make my way down the hall to his office. I take a deep, calming breath, open the door, and walk in.

I find him busy typing away at his computer. His rusty red hair is pulled back into a low ponytail and his shirt is unbuttoned at the collar with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

"Hello, Mr. Hyde, I've been asked to get your signature on some paperwork, if it's not too much trouble," I ask him.

Hearing my voice he abruptly stops typing and looks up at me. His light blue eyes look almost haunted. I stand there, for what seems like a lifetime, as he fiercely stares me down. He eye fucks me for so long it makes me fidget.

My stomach turns completely sour at the sight of him licking his lips while his eyes slowly roam up and down my body.

"Mr. Hyde, I'm waiting," I say, holding the paperwork out to him. Without a word he takes the paperwork, signs, and thrusts it back at me.

I quickly exit his office.

I'm so relieved that he didn't mention anything about our encounter on Saturday. I wonder if he is worried now that I know he is into BDSM.

Maybe that's how it works. Are we in some secret organization? Was there some oath I was supposed to take to keep it all secret? 

Finally, my day comes to an end. As I leave the building, I am approached by a very tall muscular gentleman with buzzed cut hair and a well fitting black suit. I smile at him in greeting.

"Good evening Ms Steele, my name is Taylor. I met you on Saturday," He says with a tight smile and a nod of his head.

"Yes I remember. How are you Taylor," I smile at him.

"Fine ma'am. Mr. Grey has asked if he could have a word with you. He would like me to escort you to his home office," He states plainly.

Not giving me a chance to decline, he guides me to a waiting black Audi SUV and ushers me into the back seat.

We make our way to the parking garage of Escala, a luxury high-rise in the heart of Seattle. Escala is about a fifteen minute drive from SIP.

Taylor and I ride the elevator silently to the top floor. I do everything I can to stop myself from hyperventilating. My mind goes crazy thinking of why he wants to meet here, in his apartment no less. 

Who is this guy and how the hell can he afford to live in this place? I don't' even have a clue and I'm meeting with him alone in his apartment. This might not be the best idea.

I turn to Taylor in protest but the elevator pings our arrival. We exit and Taylor leads me to a large living area. I am relieved to see a woman standing in wait for us. Taylor introduces her as Ms. Jones, Mr. Grey's housekeeper. She smiles brightly at me and asks if I would like something to eat or drink. After I politely decline her offer, Taylor guides me thorough to what I assume is his boss's office and opens the door.

"Mr. Grey, Ms. Steele to see you," he says as he steps aside giving me room to enter.

"Thank you Taylor, have Andrea email me the paperwork I requested and make sure we're not disturbed," Mr. Grey says. Taylor nods and exits the office, closing the door behind him.

"Please have a seat Ms. Steele," Mr. Grey says as he directs me to the small sitting area in front of his desk. He busies himself working at something on his computer as I wait in anticipation.

"Ms. Steele," he says. "Before I start I would like for you to sign this Non -Disclosure Agreement. It's just to ensure that both you and I are protected. I don't want the conversation we are about to have to ever leave this office."

Yup, secret organization. I nod my understanding as I read and sign.

"Good," he says and visibly relaxes as he takes the NDA out of my hand. "Now that we've gotten that out of the way, tell me, how long have you been involved in the BDSM lifestyle, Ms. Steele?"

"Well to be honest, Mr. Grey, I'm not and I really don't know much about it," I explain. He looks at me in surprise. I pause for him to speak, but he keeps silent, so I continue.

"I only know what I've researched on the internet," I tell him. "Kate, my friend, told me some of the things she's experienced with her Ex-Dom and I have to admit I was intrigued. I would like to know more about it. In fact I would like to have firsthand experience but I'm not sure how to go about it. "

"Why," he asks dumbfounded. "I'm good at reading people and you don't strike me as a girl who has a lot of experience in the matters of sex, so why go to such an extreme?"

He studies me as I swallow hard

"I only ask Ms. Steele because I want to know how serious you were about this," he continues. "I don't want to waste my time and energy if I decide to take you on as my submissive."

He smirks at me as my mouth falls open with surprise.

"Mi…Mr. Grey…" I start and stop again unsure of what to say.

"Anastasia," he interrupts. "I am a Dominate. Saturday, you stated that you didn't have one. I've asked you to come here because I wanted you to be my submissive. Now, upon learning that you have no experience with the lifestyle, I am forced to rethink things."

He leans back in his chair and regards me carefully. The look on his face is so intense, I have to bite my lower lip to ward off blushing.

Obviously coming to some type conclusion, he begins again.

"I would very much now like for you to be my submissive...in training," He says. "What that means is that I will take you under my care and teach you all you will need to become a proper submissive should you ever choose to. It's a bit unorthodox on my part and not at all my usual style. I've never guided anyone in BDSM before. The women I contract are well into the lifestyle and are quite seasoned. However, something about you intrigues me and I'm drawn to you."

He leans forward, to rest his forearms on his desk before he continues.

"At the risk of showing my hand, I haven't been able to get you off of my mind since I saw you at that God awful club," he tells me. "I would very much like to be the one to introduce you to this lifestyle. What do you say to that, Ms. Steele?"

"Mr. Grey I would very much like that, but there are some things we need to clarify first," I tell him. "For one, you're right; I have zero experience with sex. I'm a virgin and I don't plan on losing my virginity anytime soon, and finally…."

"Are you joking? You're still a virgin," he asks, giving me a look of exasperation. "And you're considering doing this? I'm sure if you waited to fall in love that would be a better way to experience things."

"Well, Mr. Grey that's the other thing, you see I have a boyfriend whom I love very much and…." I start and he interrupts me again.

"Are you two exploring this together then," he asks and I shake my head negatively. "Well now I'm intrigued. Even though you are in love with your boyfriend, you are willing to cheat on him? For what purpose? Explain this to me because I am a very possessive man and I don't like to share. I am also a very private man and I don't need some jealous boyfriend causing problems for me."

"No, no it wouldn't be like that," suddenly I am desperate. I don't like the idea of him thinking poorly of me. "Please let me explain, you see, my boyfriend, as great as he is, he really can't meet certain needs."

I take a deep breath and continue.

"Mr. Grey, I like pain," I confess to him. "I find pleasure in it. It arouses me. I'm what you might call a masochist."

He frowns in confusion.

"How would you know if you've never had sex Ms. Steele?," he says skeptically which only manages to piss me off.

"Well if you must know, Mr. Grey, I had a stepfather when I was thirteen and he abused me, not sexually, but physically," I say by way of explanation.

I breahte and continue.

"It was the first time anyone had hit me like that and… I liked it," I tell him. "I'm very ashamed to say that, even though it wasn't his intention, he did arouse me sexually. So much so that I did things to purposely anger him just so he would punish me. He would smack me around with the palm of his hands and if I was really lucky, sometimes he'd use his belt. After the punishments were over, I would run off to my room and masturbate. I was confused by it at first. The thought of having feelings for my stepfather made me feel dirty. It took me a while to realize that it was only the feel of the pain that got me so worked up."

He clears his throat, but still sits expressionless, so I continue.

"When my mother divorced him I was at a loss," I explain. "I tried to forget, to gain some form of normalcy but I couldn't. I missed the feel of being inflicted with that type of pain. I needed to feel it again. It was like I was addicted to it. My life was in turmoil because I couldn't function normally. It got so bad that my mom couldn't handle me, so she sent me to live with my step father in Montesano. Things started to change when I went off to college."

I pause, take a deep breath and continue.

"I fooled around some with boys in college," I tell him. "Nothing beyond oral sex. As much as I tried, I couldn't have an orgasm. Until one night this guy and I were playing around, he got on top of me, held me down and tickled me. Right before he got up, he smacked me hard on my ass. The sensation overload from the tickling followed by the sharp zing from the slap, made me cum so hard that I squirted. My panties were soaked. He was so excited that he wanted me to do it again. I didn't want to tell him that it was the hit to my ass that caused it. I didn't want that getting around campus."

I look for some sign from him to stop, but he just stares at me.

"My roommate at the time was a cutter; she didn't think I knew," I tell him. "She hid her razors around in the bathroom. One night I was going hot and heavy with the same guy again. He was getting frustrated because he was trying everything he knew to make me cum. He was quite skilled by the way." I smile.

Mr. Grey does not look amused. I clear my throat and continue.

"Anyway," I say. "I excused myself and went into the bathroom. I took one of my roommate's razors and cut my belly. It was only a small cut, just enough to give me a little bit of pain. I was able to cum right away. That scared me, so I stopped. I stopped fooling around with boys, and most importantly I stopped fixating on pain. It was hard but I refocused and threw myself into school. It worked. I did extremely well in school graduating with a 4.0 G.P.A."

Finally a hint of a smile plays on his lips.

"It wasn't until I got serious with my current boyfriend that those old feelings resurfaced again. It's gotten to the point now to where I can't have an orgasm unless I cut first," I stop and look up at him.

His face gives nothing away now, so I continue.

"You see that's the main reason why I can't go all the way with my boyfriend. I'm afraid that he will see my scars and I'll have to tell him that I've been cutting myself to orgasm, I confess. "I know I can't hide myself forever, but when he does see me I want to be able to look him in the eyes and tell him that I know longer need to cut myself. So I guess I'm looking for alternatives and BDSM seems like it would work. I'm hoping J.R., my boyfriend, will join me in the lifestyle."

I look up once again after revealing that. Mr. Grey is staring at me wide eyed and open mouthed. Any other time it would be comical, but right now it makes me very self aware.

"Ms. Steele," he says clearing his throat. "I understand some of your reasoning, but I'm not sure if this is the way to go and I'm not sure I can help you in the way that you need, in a way that's right, or even healthy. The fact that you are going to such extremes to hide all this from your boyfriend makes me think that he will never accept it and I think deep down, you know that. "

He pauses briefly, as if to think, then continues.

"So if you want to be with him, the only way I see it working is for you to learn how not to depend on cutting for pleasure," he tells me. "The BDSM lifestyle will not give you that. It may take away your need to cut, but you will still be depending on pain for your release. Have you tried therapy? I would be more than happy to introduce you to my therapist. Or maybe he would be able to recommend someone who deals with sex and pain addiction."

I can't believe it, but he's serious.

"With all due respect Sir, I have run the gambit with therapist. None of it has helped. And to be honest my 'addictions' are really none of your concern. It is my job to help myself. I have made up my mind that this is the way I want to do it and I am now asking for your guidance in the BDSM lifestyle. I truly believe that once I present this to my boyfriend, he will agree. He will be my Dom and then you could help us both," I tell him.

And now he looks pissed.

"I am not going to advise another man on how to fuck you Ms. Steele," he spits out at me. "And with all due respect to you, I have had my fair share of psychotic subs and, a Dominate actually, who for some reason or another attach themselves to me. I'm not looking to add another one to the list!"

I gasp. My mouth falls open in anger.

"Mr. Grey, I am not psychotic," I yell. "I admit I have intimacy issues, but I am not unstable."

I sit back pissed off and pouting with my arms crossed over my chest. After a moment, I see a slight smile form on his lips. Seeming to be satisfied, he hands me the rest of the paperwork printed from his computer.

"A contract Ms. Steele, not for you to sign, but only to give you some idea of what is expected. Read it carefully and feel free to ask questions," he instructs me.

He waits patiently while I read over the contract. I can't believe what it entails; he wants to control every aspect of my life from what I eat to what I wear. I can't allow that.

Do his subs really allow that?

"Mr. Grey. I understand how this contract would normally work for your submissives, but I think that our arrangement is different and therefore, different rules should apply," I say

"I couldn't agree more Ms. Steele," he says "since you are being trained, and not really my sub, a contract will not be needed. However, I ask that you live in the spirit of the contract. We must also discuss your soft and hard limits."

After he explains to me what soft and hard limits are it turns out I only have one: All forms of sex including oral, anal, and vaginal. However as a compromise, I agree to perform acts of self gratification and self masturbation to the point of orgasm at the sole command of Mr. Grey.

"Now that all the technicalities are taken care of Anastasia, there are still some loose ends that need to be tied." I wait for him to continue. "Your boyfriend is a concern for me. I understand that he is the reason for the non- sex agreement in our arrangement, but that is still a very difficult limit for me. I am a very sexual man. I am at a loss as to how I'm going to manage not being able to be with you fully….. For training purposes of course." He quickly adds the last part.

"The only solution I can see is that your training should not require us to be monogamous. This way you get to keep your boyfriend and I also get to satisfy my sexual urges with willing partners…. Submissives that are not looking for long term Doms," He explains as he takes note of my confused expression. I nod my head in agreement, but I don't like this idea at all.

I know I'm being selfish but I don't like the fact that he will be having sex with other women.

He slides me a package

"Inside, you will find a phone and a laptop," he explains. "Use only these devices when contacting me."

He raises an eyebrow at me as he looks at me.

"You do realize that even with the best precautions, there is always a chance that your boyfriend will discover what you're doing before you're ready to bring him in," He tells me. "How do you plan on explaining your absence to him when you and I are….training together? Surely he won't buy the 'out with friends' or 'working late' excuses for long? If he finds out, on his own, he won't understand. He will see it as betrayal."

"You needn't worry, Mr. Grey," I assure him "My boyfriend works evenings and weekends. We can meet for a few hours on any day except Tuesdays and Wednesdays which are his off days."

"Besides," I add quickly, "we won't be doing this without him for long anyway…. Right?"

Ignoring my question, he takes a long loud breath as he rises from his chair.

"The cutting has to stop Anastasia. As your acting Dom, I am the one who controls your pleasure and your pain. And to be perfectly honest I am unhappy with the idea of you cutting and scarring that beautiful body of yours," he says. "Strip for me Anastasia, let me see you."

"I'm sorry, Sir what...why," I'm caught totally off guard.

Jeez I pick today of all days to wear my granny panties.

"Do not question me Anastasia," the authority in his voice makes me jump. "As your Dom, I give the orders and I expect for you to follow them, quickly and without hesitation. Now take off your clothes!"

I kick off my high heel shoes and strip out of my skirt and blouse. I give him a look to ask if he wants me to continue. He says nothing, so I take off my plain boring white bra and white panties. I stand there exposed, vulnerable, and completely at his mercy as he walks around me inspecting every inch of my body.

"Hands at your side," he chastises and I obey immediately unfolding my arms and uncovering my belly showing the small pale scars from my cutting, one as fresh as this morning.

"Anastasia," he stands behind me and leans down to whisper in my ear. My breathing accelerates as my body responds to his closeness. "From this moment on, if at any time I see that you have cut yourself, our arrangement will be terminated immediately do you understand?"

"Yes," I say softly and he smacks my behind so hard that I jump forward. I inhale sharply.

Oh God that felt good.

"Yes what?" he says, his voice deep with emotion.

"Yes sir," I correct myself.

"Good girl," he whispers. "You may get dressed and leave now." Wha…Really?

Left feeling slightly frustrated, I get dressed quickly and move to leave. Before I open the door he calls me back.

"One other thing, if ever we cross paths out in public, you will not look at me, or react to me in any way unless I give you permission to do so is that clear," he tells me.

"Yes, sir," I say. As if reading my mind, he adds

"And don't worry Ms. Steele, I will be just as discrete," he assures me. "We wouldn't want that boyfriend of yours finding us out before you're ready now would we?"

I nod my head absentmindedly. But the way he says that makes me very uneasy.

"Have a good day, Anastasia. I will be in touch. If at any time you need to reach me, remember to use your laptop or blackberry," he demands.

I close the door behind me and breathe a sigh of relief. I can't believe that I am actually doing this. I hurry to the elevator where I am greeted by a waiting Taylor who escorts me back to my car at SIP.


	4. Friendly Advice

Addicted To Love

Chapter 4

Friendly Advice

Ana's POV

As I arrive back at my apartment I pause at the front door, even though I know J.R. is at work. I still feel terribly guilty about where I've been and what I've agreed to. The fact that I liked standing there naked in front of Mr. Grey really makes me feel like shit. When I read the note J.R. left on the kitchen counter, I nearly cry from shame.

Hey sweetheart, hope you had a great day at work.

Made your favorite, it's in the fridge. Try to wait up for me, I really need you tonight.

I Love you.

I sigh and place the note back on the counter along with the phone and laptop I got from Mr. Grey. I rush to the bathroom to take a shower, suddenly feeling extremely dirty.

Feeling clean once again, I head to the kitchen to eat the dinner J.R. has cooked for me.

I realize that I need to talk to someone. I need someone to sound off to. There's only one person in the world I want to call, Kate Kavanaugh, my best friend. This girl knows everything about me and chooses to stick around anyway. She says it's because of blackmail. If she leaves me, I'll expose the nasty little secret I found out about in college. But I've never found that joke funny.

I use to be so envious of her. I thought she had everything that I didn't: a loving family, money, beauty as well as brains. That all changed the day her parents came to our dorm room for a visit. I've never seen her so excited waiting for them to arrive. She thought they would be so pleased that she was in the running for valedictorian. But she was so disappointed when they spent the whole visit, bragging about Ethan, her older brother, and how proud they were that he was accepted into graduate school for psychology. Finally there was going to be a doctor in the family for them to show off to all of their friends. The day we graduated, Kate had worked her ass off and was valedictorian of our class. She was devastated when only Ethan showed up for her that day.

Now, Kate and I are on the couch killing a bottle of cheap wine. Correction, I'm killing it while she lectures me on my relationships.

Kate never really thought J.R. was right for me. She likes him as a person and all, but she always thought he was little too tame. She was totally against us moving in together. When she told me it was because she knew we wouldn't last, I was so pissed I didn't speak to her for three days. Since then she's learned to keep her opinions to herself. I can't be mad at her tonight though, I did ask for it.

"Listen Ana, you know I'm not one to judge," she says tucking one of her long legs underneath her as she turns to face me. "It seems to me that you are doing what you feel you have to do in order to save your relationship with Jacob. How many times have you tried to tell him what you need? He refuses to hear you. He won't even entertain the notion. I mean if your bitch needs to be slapped why can't you just bitch slap her ass!" She howls with laughter, thoroughly pleased with herself.

"OH MY GOD, THAT'S NOT FUNNY KATE," I yell as she tries hard to stop laughing. "J.R. IS HAVING A HARD TIME WITH THIS AND RIGHTFULLY SO. IT'S NOT HIS FAULT I'M FUCKED UP!"

"Alright damn, I was only joking," she says finally settling down. "Look, I know you love Jacob, but maybe he isn't the right guy for you. I mean there are plenty of guys who are willing to be aggressive in the bedroom. If you end things now then mayb…OKAYY I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She lifts her hands in surrender as she takes note of my angry expression.

"I didn't call you here to talk about my relationship, Kate. I need you to help me keep a secret," I tell her. Now she's all ears as I explain to her what I'm doing, and how I will need her help when I need to be away from J.R.

"Anastasia Rose Steele, I didn't think you had it in you! Damn! I've finally rubbed off on you huh," she says and I sigh in frustration.

"Can I count on you, or not Kate," I ask.

"Of course, of course, same way we use to do it in college," She reminds me. She waves me away as if to say don't give it a second thought. "But listen Ana; take it from someone who knows when I say that you are going down a very slippery slope at a hundred miles per hour. You may get caught up in something that you can't handle. You may end up regretting it and by then, it may be too late."

She sighs, sips her wine, and continues.

"This could cost you the one thing you are trying to hold on to, SO. BE. SURE," she says. "I just don't understand why you can't talk to Jacob. Maybe if he knew what you were planning and how desperate you are, he'd be more willing to try."

How can I make her understand that JR. is repulsed by the thought of this? He and his mother were abused by his father for years until they divorced. He can't stomach hitting me. He doesn't want to be like his father. He doesn't want me to be like his mother.

I was about to respond to her when I hear J.R. at the door. He comes in and grins when he takes note of me, Kate, and the empty bottle of wine.

"Hey ladies," he says coming over to give me a kiss. I jump up to meet him halfway.

"Hey honey, you're home? I didn't realize it was so late," I say as I kiss him deeply. Just as a moan escapes his lips, Kate jumps up saying that's her cue to leave and shows herself out. J.R. has his tongue so far down my throat, I didn't even get to say goodbye. 

My man is horny.

He stops long enough to ask me about my day before we head to the bedroom. As we lay there making out, J.R begins to unbutton my blouse and I stop him.

"Turn off the lights first J.R," I tell him.

"Ana, I want to see you so bad it's driving me crazy," he groans. "We've been together for so long, sweetheart why can't we keep the light on?"

He kisses me and starts to unbutton my blouse again, but I stop him. He gives up in frustration and leans back against the headboard.

"J.R., you know I'm not comfortable with my body. I'm just not ready yet. Please understand," I say, feeling so very guilty.

I reach over and turn off the light. I take my top off along with my jeans and I help him out of his clothes. I crawl on top of him and kiss him softly on the lips. I make my way down his body, kissing along his neck, chest, stomach and his inner thighs. He sucks in his breath as I take his dick in my hands and caress it, gently at first then harder pulling and squeezing it as it grows hard in my hands. My hand pumps up and down quickly covering his length, loving how he's now rock hard.

"Oh God Ana, suck me, please. Put me in your mouth sweetheart." His voice is raspy and filled with need which only excites me more. My tongue darts out and flicks the tip of him, swiping away the pre -cum that has accumulated there. He jerks his hips up in response and cries out desperate for me to continue.

I take him full into my mouth, sliding my flat tongue over him from base to tip. I cradle his balls in my hands. I move down to suckle one and then the other.

"Ahh, yess," is the only thing he can manage to say as he bucks his hips up and down.

I swirl my tongue around the tip of his dick and began slapping and brushing his head against my puckered lips.

"Oh my fucking God, Ana, yes," He screams out.

My name comes out in quick pants as I butterfly flick him with the tip of my tongue quickly moving back and forth flicking the sensitive ridge along the underside of his head.

I take him deep and full into my mouth until I feel him hit the back of my throat. His salty pre -cum trickles into my mouth and it makes me suck harder wanting to get every tasty drop.

I set a fast paced rhythm, sucking and pulling on his dick, bringing it all the way out until I'm sucking the tip and plunging it to the back of my throat again. Over and over sucking hard, releasing it out of my mouth with a popping sound then sucking it in hard again.

"Oh Shit," he breathes out.

His thigh muscles begin to constrict and I can feel his ass tighten as he bucks up one last time. He grabs hold of my head with both hands and screams out my name. He pulls out and cums hard all over my face.

Once he's done I lick him off. Then I go to the bathroom and clean myself up.

"Hurry back to bed sweetheart so I can return the favor," He yells, while I'm in the bathroom. I suddenly freeze as realization hits.

Oh no, what am I gonna do? The only way I'm going to cum is if I cut myself first. But if I do that Mr. Grey will know. There's no way I can fake it. Why did I agree to not cut? I have to talk to Mr. Grey. He has to allow me to cut sometimes. 

"Come on sweetheart, I'm still horny out here. I want to taste you," J.R. calls out. I leave the bathroom and get back into bed. I can sense his frown as he notices that I am dressed in my pajamas. Turning on the light, I make my excuse.

"Uh, honey, I think my period is about to start. I'm cramping really badly right now," I tell him.

"Aw can I get you anything," he asks. I hear concern in his voice as he gently rubs my arm.

"No, can you just hold me," I ask.

"Sure sweetheart. Come here," he says as he opens his arms to me.

I snuggle into his chest and he kisses the top of my head. He wraps his arms tightly around me and drifts off into a deep peaceful sleep. I stay awake for a few hours feeling frustrated and yearning for release for the second time that day. Finally I turn off the light and drift off into a restless sleep.


	5. Today's Lesson: Trust

Addicted To Love

Chapter 5

Today's Lesson: Trust

Jacob's POV

I wake up early even though it's my day off. I want to surprise Ana with breakfast in bed. I feel bad that I didn't get to return the amazing favor she gave me last night. God, just the thought of her mouth wrapped around my dick gets me hard all over again.

I turn over and look at the sleeping face of the woman who has captured my heart.

I remember the first time I saw her at the restaurant with Kate and Julie. There was just something about her that called to me. I had to go and talk to her. On our first date I was nervous as hell. I thought a romantic picnic overlooking the city would be great. What I failed to consider was the hike from hell it took to get up there. My poor sweetie was sucking wind so hard I thought she'd pass out. When we finally got all of the food set up, the sky opened and it began to pour. We found shelter under a cluster of thick trees, but not before getting completely drenched. I knew I'd completely blown it. I thought she'd be pissed. But she was laughing and grinning from ear to ear swearing it was fine and that she was having fun. We stood under that cluster of trees laughing and talking like we'd known each other all our lives. When the rain finally broke I took her back to my place and cooked us a nice dinner to make up for the one we lost. We stayed up and just talked all night.

After that first date, I knew she was the one for me and we've been inseparable ever since. I plan on asking her to marry me soon. I already have the ring and more importantly her father's blessing. She wants to wait until we are farther in our careers, but I don't see the point. She and I have yet to make love. She wants to wait until we are married and I'm great with that. We do plenty to keep us both satisfied. What drives me crazy is the fact that she refuses to let me see her naked after all this time. When we first started dating, it was fine. We would shower together and even sleep naked wrapped in each other's arms. When we started to get more intimate with each other, she became extremely shy and uncomfortable around me. I try to reassure her. I tell her how absolutely beautiful she is and what a great body she has, but she still refuses to let me look at her. The only time she'll get naked now is if the room is dark. I hate the fact that I can't watch her orgasm. 

At one point we were having problems in that department as well. Ana liked the kinky shit. She used to ask me to spank her. I would swat her butt a few times, but she wanted full blown hits. She wanted me to cause her pain. She even suggested that I use my belt at one point. I absolutely refused. I don't think she realized what she was asking me to do. How could anyone want someone else to hurt them like that? I grew up with an abusive father. I would stay awake at night and listen helplessly as he beat the shit out of my mom. No way could I ever do that to the woman I love. After I explained that to Ana, she backed off and we've been perfect ever since.

I kiss her gently on the lips as I get out of bed and head off to the kitchen to make her favorite breakfast of pancakes and bacon. As I'm about to set up the food tray to take in to her, I hear a phone ringing. I glance over and see a laptop and phone sitting on the far end of the counter. I answer the phone but no one responds. I don't recognize the number. Just as I put it down I turn to see Ana standing frozen and wide eyed behind me.

"Shit! Sweetheart you scared me, and you ruined your surprise, I was going to bring you breakfast in bed," I say as I walk over and kiss her.

"No, I'm very surprised. You're amazing," She says kissing me. She makes her way over to the counter to grab our plates and sits down at the table. I take the laptop and the phone over to her and sit them on the table

"You missed a phone call. I tried to answer it but whoever it was hung up," I say. "Why do you have these anyway? What happened to your old phone?"

"Oh. Um SIP is going mostly paperless now, so we're required to have a company laptop and phone," She says.

"Cool," I say. "What's the number?"

I take out my phone ready to save the number in my contacts.

"Oh you know it's only for work. They monitor the activity so we shouldn't talk on it," She explains as she gets up and kisses me. She puts her empty plate in the sink and heads off to get ready for work, grabbing the phone and laptop to take with her.

...

I call Ana to let her know I won't be home when she gets in. I was called into work to cover a company party that some bigshot's brother is having at the restaurant. I really didn't want to go in, but Mr. Bigshot himself requested that I supervise it, so I couldn't refuse. I leave dinner for Ana in the fridge and head out.

Ana's POV

Is it wrong that I'm happy J.R. has been called into work tonight? It's just so hard for me to face him after I lied about the phone and laptop. I can't believe I was so careless to have forgotten it, on the kitchen counter of all places. In my defense I was a little tipsy last night.

I take out the phone and study it, debating whether or not I should call Mr. Grey. I mean I'm only returning his phone call right? Just then it rings in my hand and I nearly drop it with fright.

"Hello," I answer curiously.

"Ms. Steele, How are you to address me," He asks sternly.

"I'm sorry, Hello Sir," I say feeling really stupid. Who else would be calling me on this phone?

"Better," he says. "I was wondering if you were free Thursday night. I know that you're not available tonight, but I would like to start your training as soon as possible."

I'm unsure of what to do. On one hand I am eager to start training because the sooner we start, the sooner I can be with J.R. in a way that we both need. But on the other hand, I am terrified. If this doesn't work I will be devastated. It's such an incredible gamble.

"Ms. Steele?"

"Sir, umm, J.R. actually had to work tonight, so if you're free. I would like to begin my training this afternoon," I ask.

"Very well, Ms. Steele, Taylor will be waiting for you outside SIP," he says and then it hits me like a ton of bricks. 

How does he even know I work at SIP? Taylor was here yesterday and I was so caught off guard that I didn't even think to question it.

"Mr. Grey, How do you know I work at SIP," I whisper not sure I want to hear the answer.

"I ran a background check, Ms Steele. I own and operate a very successful company. I must be careful about who I allow to get close to me, you can understand that, right," he asks me.

"Of course Sir," I say. I completely understand. I had to agree to a background check before being offered a job here. Pretty common thing in business I was told.

"This afternoon then, Ms. Steele," He confirms.

"Actually um, I would prefer to drive. I'd like to go home and change first," I say, embarrassed

"No. Don't bother going home. I don't want you wasting the limited time we have together worrying about your clothes. You won't be in them for very long anyway once you're here. I'll text you the elevator code. Park in any space that's marked penthouse," he tells me.

"Yes, sir," I say.

Once we end our conversation, I become curious as to what type of business Mr. Grey is actually in. I turn on my lap top and Google Grey Seattle Businessman. I am directed to a website for Grey Enterprise Holdings Inc. I catch my breath when his gorgeous face pops up on my screen with the caption: Mr. Christian Grey CEO of GEH.

Holy Shit!

The rest of my work day drags to a slow end.

I am so nervous about starting my training that I practically run for the front door and right into Jack Hyde. I bump him with a thud. I back up apologizing to him, but he just stares at me.

He is really creeping me the fuck out.

...

I go straight to Mr. Grey's apartment after work. The elevator takes me up to the penthouse and I am escorted in to the living area by Taylor.

We find Mr. Grey sitting on the far end of the couch completely engrossed in his newspaper. Taylor nods and leaves me standing there unannounced. Mr. Grey has yet to acknowledge me. Thinking that maybe this is part of my training I lower my gaze to the floor and wait for his instruction. Soon after, he folds his paper and throws it carelessly on the coffee table. He walks over and stands in front of me. I continue to gaze down at the floor until he gives the okay to look up.

"You may look at me Ms. Steele," He says and I quickly glance up into his smiling face. I am relieved that I got it right and have pleased him. His eyes darken as he grasps my chin and tugs it down, releasing my lower lip I had captured between my teeth.

He leans in to kiss me, plunging his tongue deep within my mouth biting down on my lower lip sucking it as he pulls out of our kiss.

He leaves me breathless.

"Have you eaten today, Anastasia," he asks as he leads me to his breakfast bar. I nod yes.

"Good…..Come," he says holding out his open hand to me. He guides me upstairs and down a hallway. We stop and stand in front of a closed door.

"Anastasia, this is my playroom. This is where most of our training will take place. If you are uncomfortable with anything you see here, you only have to say so, and it will not be used," he explains to me and I nod my head. He unlocks and opens the door. He walks inside to turn on the light, and gives me permission to enter.

He steps aside and studies me as I take in the room. The smell of the wood and fresh polish invades my senses. My head swings from one side of the room to the other as my eyes roam and try to take everything in. I pause at the large four post bed in the middle of the room and glance at the black straps that are attached to both the head and the foot.

My breath catches as I see the various sizes of belts and whips hanging on the wall. Some toys I am not familiar with, so Mr. Grey explains that they are floggers, riding crops and canes. I run my fingers along the rubber strips of one the floggers and wonder what it's used for. Mr. Grey explains how it, along with most toys can be used for reward or punishment. He stops mid sentence to look at me. I blush as I see the wheels spinning around in his head when he realizes that he will have to be creative in punishing me since pain may sometimes have the opposite effect.

"Anastasia," Mr. Grey calls for my attention. I turn and face him.

"When you enter this room you will strip down to your panties and kneel here," He says pointing to a spot close to the door.

"Take off your clothes and kneel now." He demands and I comply immediately.

One by one I take off my items of clothing and place them into his waiting hands until I am down to nothing but my lacey red panties. I walk over and kneel. Mr. Grey arranges my body until I am in the proper submissive kneeling position. He instructs me to remain still until he tells me otherwise. He exists and when he returns I see that he is now walking with bare feet.

I kneel there silent and still, with my head down studying the floor. I try to make out what Mr. Grey is doing as he moves about the room. My knees begin to stiffen and just as I'm about ready to fall over he calls to me to come and stand before him. I get up quickly to follow his instructions.

"Look at me," He demands. I do so quickly.

On their own accord, my eyes roam up and down his body. He has changed out of his suit and is now wearing nothing but a pair of ripped jeans. I am all but drooling as I take him in. I see him stiffen slightly as my eyes catch sight of what looks to be little round burn marks on his chest. So I look away quickly. He leads me over to a type crisscross and I gasp. I realize it is the same contraption used in the scene I was so aroused by at the club.

Mr. Grey smirks as he tells me it is called a Saint Andrew's cross. He buckles me in facing forward. My wrists and my ankles are bound so that I am spread eagle and displayed before him.

"Do you trust me Anastasia," he asks.

His question makes me suddenly realize the predicament I'm in. I am in fact bound, unable to move, and at his complete mercy. Panic begins to set in. Sensing my sudden fear, Mr. Grey reassures me.

"Anastasia in this room, you are the one in control. Nothing will happen here that you don't want to happen," he tells me. "If at any time you wish for me to slow down or stop you will use the safe word yellow or red, do you understand?"

"Yes sir," I answer.

"What are your safe words, Anastasia," he demands.

"Yellow to slow down and red to stop, Sir," I answer.

"Good, are you ready to begin," he asks. I can hear the uncertainty in his voice.

"Yes, Sir," I say strongly. Pulling myself together and getting my fear under control.

And just like that, his whole demeanor changes. He becomes rigid and focused. His face is completely void of emotion except for his eyes. They are filled with excitement and lust.

He leans forward and suckles my neck. I lean my head to the side to grant him better access.

"Do you trust me, Anastasia," he asks again.

"Yes sir," I say with no hesitation.

"Good girl," he tells me. "Now close your eyes and keep them closed until I tell you otherwise, understand?"

"Yes sir," I answer and close my eyes.

He continues his assault on my neck and begins to nip and suck his way to my cheek, and finally kissing me hard on the mouth. His tongue forces its way inside and dances frantically with my own. I feel his fingers as they pinch the nipple of my left breast. I moan in pleasure until I feel the pain of something clamping down hard. I rip my lips away from his as I suck in my breath and then moan it out in sheer pleasure as the sensation of pain overtakes my body. My eyes fly open and I look down at my nipple to see it encased crudely in some type of metal clamp.

I begin to pant with excitement as I see him about to clamp my right breast but he stills his movement. I look up at him in confusion. I'm panting so hard I'm almost to pass out. He tugs on the chain attached to the clamp. It pulls at my nipple, stretching it like a rubber band as my breast fights desperately to keep itself attached to me.

"OH MY GOD," I moan out loudly as I throw my head back. He abruptly stops and my nipple snaps back in place. I look at him, silently pleading for him to continue.

"Anastasia, your eyes are open," he says seriously. "Are you trying to displease me?"

"No sir," I answer quickly.

"Close your eyes," he demands. "Open them again and I will punish you, understand?"

"Yes, sir," I answer closing my eyes quickly again. I feel the clamp biting into my right nipple and I moan in agonizing pleasure.

I am on full alert as I try to sense what Mr. Grey is doing. He gets on his knees in front of me and pulls hard on my panties ripping them off. My wetness is suddenly exposed to the cool air and it makes my clit hard. I feel the nipple chain dangling down pass my belly button and I flinch when it suddenly hits hard against my clit causing it to become very sore and swollen. I feel Mr. Grey's warm breath there as he is just inches away. I freeze.

Please don't do what I think you're going to do!

"Relax Anastasia, you must trust me. I won't violate our agreement," He reassures me and I relax and let my senses take over once again.

He takes the index finger of one hand and runs it up the folds of my wet pussy. I moan.

"You're already so wet Ms. Steele and we've just begun," He says. I hear a sucking sound and then I almost cum when I hear him moan

"Mmmmmmm, here taste how good you are," He says, placing his finger into my mouth. I suck my juices off of his finger. I hear him gasp as I lick my lips. I prefer the taste of dick, but I don't protest. I don't want to displease Mr. Grey.

"Keep your eyes closed," he warns.

I feel him step away from me. I am assaulted by the cool air that's left in his wake. I am straining to hear, but there is only silence. I can't sense him in the room. I am fighting against the overwhelming urge to open my eyes. I start to fidget. I pull at my restraints. I know I'm supposed to trust him, but my anxiety is high. I start to panic.

Oh no I don't like this.

Suddenly I feel the warm palm of his hand press gentle on the side of my waist and I jump a little. I feel his breath on my face and the warmth of his body calms me once again. His hand tugs at my chin releasing my lower lip and he kisses me gently. He moves to whisper in my ear and I feel his soft cheek caress against my cheek. I inhale deeply as I take in the scent of him.

"You are such a good girl, Anastasia," he whispers to me. "You've just earned your reward."

I still myself and catch my breath. He leans into me once again

"Breathe Anastasia," He says softly and I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Do you know why you're being rewarded," he asks me.

"Because, I trusted you enough not to open my eyes, sir," I answer him.

"Mhm, you were a very good girl and good girls get rewarded. What are your safe words Anastasia," he asks me.

"Yellow and red, Sir," I answer quickly

Mmmm, that's my good girl," he says.

Oh my God! I'm about to cum

Suddenly I am free from the cross. He cradles me in his arms. I know that he is now naked because I can feel his very large erection against my skin. I yelp as he throws me and I am flying through the air. I land face up on the bed and he bounds my arms and legs spread eagle again.

The room becomes eerie quiet and I am so tempted to open my eyes, but I dare not. So I squeeze my eyelids together tightly and wait anxiously for my reward.

And Mr. Grey does not disappoint.

My body jerks off the bed in surprise as I am hit with strips of rubber and I know it's the flogger I wondered about earlier.

Ohhh yessss. 

There it is: sweet, delicious, all consuming pain. I feel it on my legs, on my belly, on my breast. Up my body and back down again over and over. I moan and cry out in ecstasy not caring who hears. I can hear the sound of the strips slapping against my skin. My body is on fire. I feel so alive as I go higher and higher.

Oh God I never want it to stop.

Oh please don't stop!

He yanks on the chain that has been dangling from my breast and pulls hard. I feel a sharp pull not only on my breasts, but on my clit as well. I nearly cum.

I yell out as my eyes spring open and look down to see that my clit is clamped like my breast. All three are connected to that dangling chain that is now being pulled taut.

What in the hell? When did he attach that? 

Those thoughts quickly fly out of my head as he gives me a sharp slap to my clit with the palm of his hand. He drops the flogger and quickly unties my hands. He places a vibrating wand in my right one.

"Make yourself cum," he demands. His voice is low and shaky.

I quickly obey as I maneuver the vibrator around the chains and press it full on and hard to my clit. Mr. Grey is pulling on the chain with his left hand making my clit and my nipples strain upward. He is jacking himself off with his right hand as he watches me pleasure myself. He moves the chain up and down to stimulate my breast and my clit.

Oh my fucking God, that feels so good. I'm going to die! I AM GOING TO FUCKING DIE!

"OH MY GOD. OHMYGODOHMYGOD OH MY GODDDDD," I scream out as my body starts to convulse. My orgasm hits with such force that I squirt clear across the room. Mr. Grey furiously works himself over as he pulls the chains to prolong my orgasm. Over and over I convulse, and moan, and writhe in pleasure. I have never cum so long. The bed is soaking wet.

Mr. Grey shoots off seconds behind me. He calls out my name as he pumps his cum all over my breast. I look up at him in fascination as I watch his stone face give way to ecstasy. In the back of my mind I wonder how it would feel to taste his cum in my mouth. But I quickly dismiss those thoughts, feeling a pang of guilt. He drains himself dry and taps his dick on one of my overly ripped nipples.

He looks down to see me still shaking from the aftermath of my orgasm.

"Welcome to my world, Anastasia," He breathes out.

I smile up at him, exhausted. My whole body finally relaxes and I drift off to sleep.


	6. A Surprise Guest

Addicted To Love

Chapter 6

A Surprise Guest

Ana's POV

I am jarred awake by the feel of blood rushing to my nipples and clit as Mr. Grey releases the clamps.

"Are the clamps too much for you, Ms. Steele," he asks.

"Mmmm, no sir. I like them," I say in my shy little girl's voice that makes him smirk at me.

He unshackles my legs and helps me to stand. My legs give way. So, he gently wraps me in a warm thick robe, carries me out of the playroom, and into a bedroom down the hall.

"Is this your room," I ask, looking around.

"No, it's the sub's room," He answers.

He sits me on the bed and disappears into the bathroom. He brings out a warm wash cloth, bends down, and begins to wipe his cum off of my breast.

He looks up at me strangely as I giggle at his touch.

"You're ticking me," I laugh at him as I swat his hand away. "I think I can make it to the bathroom now." He stands and gives me room to walk pass.

"Do you mind if I take a shower," I ask.

"I don't mind at all," He answers. "You should find everything you need in there. I'll bring your clothes."

I quickly shower and return to the bedroom to get dressed. My clothes are neatly laid out on the bed and I'm surprised that they have been freshly laundered. My panties are also there.

I could have sworn he ripped those off in the playroom.

I take a moment to look around the sub's room. It looks a little generic, plainly decorated, but the furniture is exquisite.

I wonder how many subs he's had in this room. And why do they need a room anyway? Do they live here with him? 

After I dress, I contemplate going in search of Mr. Grey. I gasp when I realize he might be cleaning up the mess I just made in the playroom. I turn beet red with embarrassment. I should go clean that up. I make my way to the playroom, but I am met in the hallway by Mr. Grey.

"Anastasia," he says my name in question. I assume it is because of my red face.

"I was just on my way to clean the playroom, Sir," I explain.

He grins at me and takes my hand

"No need, Ms. Steele, that's a lesson for another day," He says as he leads me down the stairs to the breakfast bar.

I jump up on a stool and wait for him as he pours two glasses of red wine. He hands me a glasses and raises his in a toast.

"To our arrangement, may we get everything we desire," He says and he drinks.

I take a sip of wine and I am suddenly wracked with guilt. J.R. has not entered my thoughts once since I walked through Mr. Grey's door. After all he is the reason I'm here.

"Shit," I say as I scramble to find my bag. I find my phone and check for missed calls. I almost cry when I hear the sweet message J.R. has left me.

"J.R. will be home in a few hours, I should get going," I say as I turn to look at Mr. Grey.

"I was going to suggest we eat first, I wouldn't want to send you off on an empty stomach after you've exerted so much….energy," he smirks at me and I roll my eyes at him.

Suddenly, his expression becomes dark and angry. I take a step back as he quickly approaches me. My gaze instinctively falls to the floor.

He wraps my ponytail around his left hand and yanks my head up to look at him. My hands automatically fly to the back of my head. I look up at him and his face is filled with anger.

"Ms. Steele, eye rolling is rude and it will not be tolerated, is that understood," he asks

"Yes, Sir," I squeak out.

He takes the thumb and index finger of his right hand and twists my overly sensitive left nipple. My leg begins to shake much like a dog's would if scratched in the right spot.

Ohhhhh Shit! I don't know if this is supposed to be a punishment, but if it is, bring it on Mr. Grey. 

My panties are wet all over again as the sensation in my nipple travels straight down to my pussy. My mouth flies open but I try so hard not to moan. I know that I have displeased him but it's so hard for me to get past my own pleasure. I look up at to what I thought would be an angry expression and I frown in confusion. There is no expression at all, except for the desire I see in those beautiful gray eyes.

Bastard Knows exactly what he's doing to me.

Just as quickly as he came, he walks away.

"Dinner," he asks. What? 

"What? I'm sorry… Sir," I correct myself as I ask for clarification.

"Shall I feed you before you leave, Mr. Steele," he asks again.

"Oh no, um J.R. always leaves food for me….but thank you, Sir," I answer.

"Very well, Ms. Steele." He sighs loudly. "I'll have Taylor escort you to your car."

"Wait Sir, um before I go, I would like to discuss something with you. It's umm... kind of a problem that I have. I need to cut, Sir," I say.

"Are you asking for permission to hurt yourself again, Ms. Steele," he asks me.

"Yes, Sir. But only a little. You see J.R. wants to…..I only need to when we're together. I need to do it to cum for him Sir," I explain to him.

He stalks up to me once again.

"Anastasia," he whispers my name and I swallow hard. "Are you asking me to allow you to cut into your skin so that another man can have your orgasm?"

Another man? Why the fuck is he acting like I'm cheating on him? This is a business arrangement.

"Yes, for my boyfriend," I remind him. "Sir."

I say with attitude.

"You had no problem cuming for me. Quite loudly as I recall," he counters.

My face turns as red as fire. I'm pissed he would suggestion that I received any type of personal pleasure from our training.

"What we do is different, Sir. Jacob is not fucked up like you and I are. He loves me and he wants to show me in a normal way. I want to give him that… Please let me," I beg.

"No," he says.

"Sir," I say.

He is fucking unbelievable!

"Do you think you're 'normal' boyfriend would be okay with the fact that you have to cut yourself in order to cum for him Anastasia," he spits out at me.

"Of course not, that's why I'm here wasting time with you, so I can learn to be a better girlfriend for him…. Please just let me," I beg again.

"No Anastasia. Never ask me again," he yells as he grabs my forearm and ushers me toward the elevator.

"And if I do it anyway," I say, jerking away from him defiantly.

"The choice is ultimately yours Ms. Steele," He says getting control of himself once again. "But my position remains the same. If you cut, our arrangement will be over. Taylor will escort you down."

Taylor materializes out of air and walks me inside the elevator. I turn to scowl at Mr. Grey as the doors close.

"Anastasia," He says.

"Christian," I say in return.

I make it home in record time letting my anger fuel my driving. I discard my clothes and head straight to the shower as guilt hits me once again. I just had an amazing orgasm at the hands of another man, while the one that I love never entered my mind. Afterwards, I go to the full length mirror and inspect my body.

I was sure there would be some form of bruising after the session I just had with Christian…. I mean Mr. Grey. But there isn't a mark on me. Well except for what I've done to myself and even those are beginning to fade.. 

I sigh in frustration. I have no clue as to what I'm going to do. I quickly change into my pajamas and go into the kitchen to eat the food that J.R. cooked for me. He'll be home soon. I debate if I should wait up for him, but I think better of it and head to bed.

I lay in bed unable to sleep. Thoughts of the training session keep playing in my mind. Along with the disagreement we had before I left.

Man he really pissed me off. I could never be his sub. Not that he would want me anyway. 

I'm sure he thinks I'm way more trouble than I'm worth. I bet he's regretting ever agreeing to do this for me in the first place after the way I behaved.

Damn I feel like shit. He is only doing what I asked him to do. He didn't deserve the mean things I said to him before I left. 

I look at my clock. It's late but I'll chance calling him anyway.

"Anastasia," He picks up on the second ring.

"Sir, Your submissive in training seeks forgiveness for her deplorable behavior tonight," I say to him.

"I am thinking of a proper punishment as we speak, Ms Steele," He says. And I catch my breath.

"I am at your mercy Sir," I whisper.

"I will show none," He says. And I know he means it.

"Good night Anastasia," He says.

"Sir, may I ask a question without fear of being punished," I ask.

"You may speak freely, Ms. Steele," he answers.

"Well, I know that you require me to not cut. But I don't think you are sympathetic to what not cutting is costing me," I try and reason. It's not that I have an urge to cut, I just need it to be with J.R.

"Ms. Steele, Your desire to not cut for arousal was the whole reason for you starting BDSM. You are the one who wants to pretend that what you're getting from your relationship is enough, all because you are afraid to be who you are. You are not doing him any favors. And lying to yourself this way will ultimately hurt him and most importantly you," He says.

"I just can't. I'm not ready to. He'll never understand," I say.

"Then why are you doing it, Anastasia," he asks. And I swear it's sadness I hear in his voice.

Well I don't need his fucking pity. I love J.R. and he is what I need. 

"I'll make him understand, I will. He has to. I can't lose him," I say desperately.

"Anastasia If you want to cut to fuck your 'normal' boyfriend then cut. If you want me as your Dom then figure out how not to cut. If you want to find another Dom who won't give a shit about you or any of this bullshit as long as he gets to beat the shit out of you then do that. But for fuck sakes make up your damn mind. Pick one and commit yourself to it," He says now, very frustrated with me.

"Yes Sir," is all I can say to that because I know he's right.

"Sleep well, Ms Steele," he says.

"But when will we train again," I ask.

After a long pause he sighs deeply.

"Anastasia, you frustrate me to no end," He says and I hear him catch his breath as I giggle.

He is about to respond to me but suddenly stops.

"How shall I please you tonight, Master," I hear a woman's voice and I gasp.

Master? He's with a sub. Already.

"Thursday," He says to me quickly and hangs up.

I turn off the phone as tears well in my eyes. I don't know why I expected anything different. Unlike me he has always been very clear about our arrangement. I don't even know why I'm so upset.

I cry myself to sleep. I awake to feel J.R. climb into bed and wrap his arms around me. I drift off again comforted by his embrace.


	7. Guilt and Other Feelings

Addicted To Love

Chapter 7

Guilt and Other Feelings

Ana's POV

Wednesday morning I wake up refreshed, but still a little sad. I look over at J.R. and give him a quick kiss. Careful not to wake him, I climb out of bed to get ready for work. I have to leave a little early. I have a meeting with Elizabeth Morgan, the head of HR. I'm a little nervous as to why she would want to meet with me personally. I get dress quickly, grab my laptop and blackberry and head out the door.

I walk into Mrs. Morgan's office and I stop in my tracks when I see Jack Hyde sitting across from her. She directs me to sit in the seat beside him.

"Ana, thank you for coming in this morning," She begins and I sink lower in my seat when I feel Jack's eyes on me. "As you may have heard, Gloria, Mr. Hyde's assistant editor has terminated her employment with us and we need to fill the position quickly."

Oh no I don't like where this is headed.

"Mr. Hyde suggested that we offer you the position," She says smiling over at him.

"Yes Ana, I have seen you around the office and you have the…."he waves his hand in the air as if searching for a word "….assets that I look for in an assistant."

"Well," I say clearing my throat "I appreciate the offer, but I'm sure that there are more qualified employees that have been here longer. I'm just an intern after all. I wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes."

"I want you as my assistant, Ana," He says pointblank "These types of opportunities are few and far between. You wouldn't want to have a reputation of being the girl who past one up." He gives me a look because he knows that he's got me.

"Unfortunately Mr. Hyde is right," Mrs. Morgan explains. "If you pass on this opportunity another may not present itself to you. I'm afraid we need your answer now, Ana."

I give a fake smile

"Of course, I accept the position. I am very grateful that you feel I can perform the job well. I will try not to let you down," I tell her.

I say it to her, but Mr. Hyde answers.

"Oh I'm sure you will perform extremely well, Ana," He leers at me. "You can finish out the rest of the week and then start fresh with me Monday morning."

"Thank you," I say, and make my way to my cubicle.

I take a moment to get myself together. I finish out the rest of my day putting Jack Hyde out of my mind.

…..

J.R. and I are having dinner with Kate and Frankie Boytoy tonight.

She wants to cook for us at her place. I think she's been watching a little too much Food Network and it has made her bold. Last I knew she could barely boil water and even then I had to watch her.

Before we leave the car, I warn Jacob to be nice about Kate's cooking. After all she could surprise us. I'm sure she's made something quick and easy. He makes a stink face but agrees to be kind.

"Kit Kat!" I say to her as we enter and I hand her a bottle of wine.

"Wow it smells good what are you making," I ask her.

"Coq Au Vin," she says and J.R chokes very loudly on the beer Frankie just handed him. Kate rolls her eyes and heads back into the kitchen.

"I thought we agreed on something simple." I whisper to Frankie, who just shrugs as he gulps his beer.

Forty minutes after we've eaten the pizza we ordered for dinner, I help Kate clean up the kitchen.

"Whelp," she says as she dumps what was supposed to be coq au vin in the trash. "There lies my venture into the world of cuisine. May it die a beautiful death."

I smile at her and she frowns at me.

"Come on Anabee lets go out on the patio while our guys bond," she tells me.

"You guys behave yourselves, no pissing on the furniture," She warns.

"Anabee what's wrong, you seem off tonight." Kate asks.

"Everything" I answer looking back to make sure J.R. is out of earshot "My life is a mess. I have a boyfriend who I can't fuck, a boss who wants to fuck me and I Dom who is fucking somebody else."

"Okay….okay," she breaths out rubbing her temples. "Lets back up for a minute. Your boss?"

"Oh yeah that's right I didn't tell you, I got a promotion today to Jack Hyde's assistant editor," I say.

"That's great," She exclaims. "Whoa, wait, isn't that that weird guy you ran into at Chains."

"Yup," I say.

"Aw shit," says. "Well you know what, don't let him stand in your way. There's always gonna be some jackass you have to work with. If he even thinks about trying anything report his ass. Now about this 'Dom' of yours. You really went and did it, didn't you?"

I nod my head yes.

"Well, come on don't make me drag it out of you, how was it," she asks scooting closer to me.

"It was great, Kate. He was great," I confess.

"And what the fuck do you mean he's fucking someone else," she yells.

"Shush, be quiet Kate," I whisper looking over my shoulder to see J.R. still talking adamantly to Frankie.

She listens quietly as I explain everything that happened with Mr. Grey yesterday, including the voice I heard over the phone.

"I don't get why you're so upset about this, I mean it was what you 'agreed upon'…right… you have a 'boyfriend' anyway…right...It's not like you two are in a 'RELATIONSHIP' or anything….right," she says, all the while using those damn quotation fingers that she knows I can't stand.

"Kiss my butt," I say to her

"Now, Ms Steele, that type of language will not be tolerated," She says deadpan and in her best Dom voice. My mouth almost hits the patio table.

"Shut the fuck up," I say laughing as I smack her arm.

"Seriously though Anabee, if it bothers you this much, than maybeeeee..." She sings.

"I love J.R," And I don't know if I'm saying that to her or myself at this point.

"Yes sweetie I know, but are you in love with him," she asks.

"Oh I don't' kno…" I almost say in frustration before remembering myself. "Of course I am in love with him. I have been for a long time. We've just hit a rough patch that's all."

"Okay, then answer me this" she says "if your Dom was to call you this minute and ask you to come to him, what would do? Who would you choose to be with tonight?"

"Of course I would choose J.R. I've only known my Dom for a few days. I was just hurt that he called another sub so quickly after I left, that's all," I say

"But why were you so hurt," she asks in frustration "You never want to face your feelings."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," I say and she puts her hands up giving me her don't' shoot the messenger expression.

"Alright, fine, let's not talk about it. But what's gonna happen tonight when he gets you home and wants to make…. whatever it is that you guys do together tonight," She asks just as J.R. and Frankie walk out to join us.

…..

Jacob's POV

We all hang out on the patio together a while longer before I tell Ana it's time to head home.

On the drive home I am lost in thought. Ana seem so distant lately. I think it's because our relationship is not moving forward as quickly as she wants. I know I promised her we'd wait until we were more stable career wise, but now that we've both been promoted, I see that as a good sign that it's time to take the next step.

We are going to visit her mother in Georgia soon. I think that will be the perfect time to ask her to marry me. Her mom can help me make it a proposal she will never forget.

Feeling relieved that I at least have a plan to fix things, I look over at her and kiss the hand that I've been holding as I drive.

We are barely in the apartment before I am all over me. I lift her in my arms and carry her to our bedroom. Without turning on the light, I gently lower her onto our bed and begin to slowly undress her. Once naked, I begin to kiss every inch of her. I moan deeply, loving the feel of her soft skin on my skin. I make my way from her neck to her breast. I caress her right breast with my left hand. I put it in my mouth and begin to gently suckle before I move to her left breast.

The sound of her moaning is arousing me it's been so long since I've had her.

"Mmm, I love you so much, sweetheart," I whisper. "Sweetie let's just do it. Let's just go for it."

I feel her body stiffen underneath me. She gets up and throws on her robe.

"What is it," I say slightly frustrated and completely hurt. I turn on the light.

"We can't," she says. "I'm going to take a shower."

She begins to walk toward the bathroom. I hold on to her arm and turn her towards me.

"Sweetie, okay. I know you want to wait. I got carried away. I'm sorry," I say feeling like a total bastard for pushing her too far.

"It's okay, I know you're frustrated. I know I'm asking a lot of you, but it's important to me to do this right. I don't want us to have any regrets. When it finally happens, it's going to great, you'll see," She reassures me.

"Okay," I smile down at her. "Sweetie, take a shower in the morning. I just want to hold you tonight. I feel like I never see you anymore."

"I know. Our schedules suck, but it won't always be this way. Just be a little patient okay?" She says I turn off the light, we change into our pajamas and get into bed. I wrap her in my arms and she snuggles in close. In the back of my mind I wonder how it will feel to finally make love as husband and wife. I know in the end when we are happily married, all of this waiting will all be worth it.

…

Ana's POV

"Shit," I say as I jump out of bed late for work. I hurry to take a shower, get dressed, kiss J.R., grab my stuff, and race out the door all in 20 min.

I arrive at SIP without a moment to spare. I head to my cubicle and sit down to catch my breath.

"Ana," I look up to see Mr. Hyde eyeing me as he leans against my cubicle wall.

"Good morning, Mr. Hyde," I smile at him.

"I look forward to working with you on Monday," He says walking away.

"I can't wait, Sir," I say sarcastically. Did I really just call him sir?

Which reminds me. I turn on my blackberry hoping to find a message from Mr. Grey about our training this afternoon. But there isn't anything. I go to my laptop and check there and sure enough there is a message waiting for me:

"Ms. Steele, l look forward to continuing our training this afternoon," He says simply.

I smile in spite of myself as I type.

"I look forward to it as well," I say. "As long as I'm not keeping you from other obligations." That damn voice keeps playing in my mind.

I hear my message alert and I'm surprised he responds so quickly.

"Nothing else is more important and I've cleared my schedule for this afternoon. I'm all yours, Ms Steele," He says.

"Well, no pressure there," I say.

"None," He answers and all of a sudden I feel a bit self conscious.

"Don't you have a company to run, Sir," I ask changing the subject

"I'm in a meeting as we speak, Ms Steele," he tells me. oh shit!

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, Sir," I say, feeling bad for interrupting him.

"No bother at all Anastasia, like I said, nothing is more important. I'll see you after work. Bring your appetite, I want to feed you," he tells me.

"Yes Sir, have a good day at work," I say smiling like an idiot.

"Check your blackberry, I just sent you the new code to the elevator. My day is getting better as we speak, Ms. Steele. Laters," He says signing off.

"Laters," I say out loud and burst into laughter before catching myself. I check my blackberry and get the new codes before I start what's shaping up to be a great day.

…..

The elevator doors open and I am expecting to see Taylor, but he is nowhere to be found. I automatically check my watch as I look around. I smell something delicious coming from the kitchen so I make my way there only to be greeted by Ms. Jones.

"Ms. Steele, how lovely to see you again. Mr. Grey will be out shortly, he and Jason are in a meeting," She explains.

"Jason," I ask and she blushes as she corrects herself by calling him Taylor

"Oh that's fine," I say to her, now feeling a bit awkward.

"Please have a seat, Mrs. Steele. Would you care for something to drink? Some wine maybe," she offers.

"Wine would be great actually thank you. Please call Ana. Ms Jones," I say taking the wine.

"Only if you call me Gail, she says," giving me a warm smile.

"Okay, then Gail you've got a deal," I say "What are you cooking, it smells delicious?"

She tells me that it is Carrot Glazed Chicken. She gives me a taste and oh my god my mouth explodes with flavor. The sweet glaze of the carrot mixed with the chicken is an amazing combination. I tell her it reminds me of the chicken and waffles my mom cooks for me when I visit her in Georgia.

I guess that breaks the ice because she and I are now chatting away about Georgia, cooking and recipes. I tell her some of my favorite dishes and she gives me ideas on how to spice them up.

I ask her what Mr. Grey's favorite meal is totally expecting her to give me the name of some exotic hard to pronounce dish, but she surprised me when she says that he always asks her to make him Macaroni and Cheese.

"No way," I say completely floored.

"It is his favorite," She nods in confirmation. And I laugh at the thought of him and such a simple dish. I stop to catch my breath when I look over and see Mr. Grey standing in the doorway watching Gail and me. We abruptly stop talking. She busies herself while my eyes move instinctively down to study the counter. Mr. Grey walks over and sits down next to me.

I wait for his instruction.

"Good afternoon, Anastasia," He greets me.

"Good afternoon Sir," I say to him. Please let me look at you.

"You may look at me," he says as if reading my mind and I quickly glance up at him.

"Is dinner almost ready, Ms. Jones," he asks her.

"Yes Sir, I'm ready to serve. Would you like to eat here or in the dining room," she asks.

"The dining room, please," He answers as he gets off of the stool and holds his open hand out to me.

Ms. Jones serves us and Mr. Grey excuses her for the rest of the evening. Alone with him, suddenly I feel very shy. I stare at my plate.

"Look at me Anastasia," he says softly.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I guess I'm a little nervous," I admit.

"Why," he asks, as he frowns at me.

"I don't know," I answer. "Being here, having dinner with you, it just seems so…." I struggle for a word

"Intimate," He whispers.

"Yes, Sir," I say.

That's exactly what it feels like. It is much too intimate. Too much like a date and not business.

"Relax Ms. Steele its only so that we can talk a moment. We just need to clarify a few things. To make sure we are on the same page." He says.

"Okay, I get that. Yes that's good," I say relaxing a little now. "Is there something specific we need to discuss?"

Feeling hungry, I dig into my meal, which makes Mr. Grey smile.

"Well Ms Steele, the last time you were here, we were at an impasse. You were unsure if you were able to agree to the terms of our arrangement where cutting yourself was concerned. I'm curious to know where we stand now. Have you decided to continue with my training? Or have you decided to seek guidance elsewhere," he asks.

"Mr. Grey, I am here because I am ready to fully commit myself to our arrangement as long as you will still have me as your sub, Sir," I tell him.

"Good," he says. "Now let's finish our meal. The sooner you eat, the sooner I will have you tied up and begging for release in my playroom."

"Are you going to punish me sir," I ask.

"I thought that was made clear, Ms. Steele. Eat," He says.

We finish our meal and I get up to clear away the plates.

"Leave it," he says and hands me a key to the playroom. "I want you kneeling in position Ms. Steele."

I take the key and I'm about to rush off to the playroom when something springs into my head.

"Sir," I call to him.

"Ms. Steele," He stands and waits for me to continue.

"Why did you change the elevator codes," I ask. "Did…Did you not want me back?"

His face is now serious as he sees that my feelings are hurt.

"Anastasia," He says as he walks over to me. He places his hand gently on my cheek. I briefly close my eyes and lean into his hand lost in the sensation. I look up into his eyes and I see a flash of emotion before he quickly moves his hand away and places it back at his side.

"Ms. Steele," He begins again. "I changed the codes because there was a breech in security. Someone who I long since severed ties with managed to gain entry."

"The woman I heard over the phone," I say and now I feel like three day old shit.

He was in danger. He could have been hurt while I was too busy being jealous.

Jealous? That's not what I was.

"Yes," he says. "I'm sorry you had to hear that. But it's been handled. And just to be clear, asking you to stay away has never entered my mind. You are welcomed here anytime, Anastasia."

I blush bright red

"I'm sorry … I thought that you were… that she," I don't continue.

"As I've said Ms. Steele, I'm all yours. Now... Playroom," He says.

"Yes sir," I say and run off to get in position. I can't wipe off the stupid grin that is now painted vividly on my face.


	8. The Truth Hits Softly

Addicted To Love

Chapter 8

The Truth Hits Softly

Ana's POV

I open the door to the playroom and its clean familiar scent engulfs me. I quickly strip down to my panties and kneel in position. I try to regulate my breathing as I anxiously wait for Mr. Grey.

Soon enough, he comes sauntering into the playroom ignoring me as he strolls right pass. I can see his bare feet and I know that he is in those jeans that fit him so well.

He goes about the playroom and gathers his toys.

"You may come to me, Ms Steele," He commands and I take a deep breath because I know that my Dom has arrived.

I get up to quickly follow his command.

He guides me to the middle of the room.

"Hold out your wrists," He commands and I obey without hesitation

He binds my wrists together with leather restraints and yanks my arms high above my head. He attaches the restraints on to a brass colored carbine hook. I am now completely stretched and dangling in the middle of the room, with only my tiptoes touching the floor.

My breathing quickens as I see his eyes fill with lust while they roam slowly up and down my body.

"What are your safe words, Ms Steele," he asks.

"Yellow and red Sir," I answer.

He walks behind me and encircles my waist. He pulls me close to him so that my ass is tucked into his pelvis and his rock hard erection. He leans forward so that his front is pressed into my back. I can feel the softness of his skin and the contours of muscles that define his chest and arms.

He leans in and kisses the left side of my neck. I lean my head back until it comes to rest on his right shoulder. I can feel the quick movements of my chest as it heaves up and down. He takes his hands and massage my breasts, tweaking the nipples. I moan in satisfaction.

"Do you trust me, Anastasia," he whispers softly in my ear.

"Yes, Sir," I say strongly with no hesitation.

"Ohhh Ms. Steele, I want so much for you to be my good girl tonight. I want so much to pleasure you," His voice is low and deep.

Yes! Please.

He suckles my ear lobe with his lips and tongue and moves slowly down my neck.

"Mmm, but you've been a naughty girl, and you must be taught a lesson," He says. "You will not be allowed to cum tonight Ms Steele. Do not ask me to, understand?"

"Yes sir," I say reluctantly.

"I'm going to blind fold you tonight Ms. Steele," he says.

"Yes Sir," I whisper as he places the blind fold over my eyes and I am thrust into darkness.

I feel him bury his nose in my hair and inhale deeply before he softly kisses my head.

I have to force myself to relax as his body abandons mine.

"Tell me why you're being punished, Ms Steele," he demands, now standing in front of me

"Because, I was disrespectful and I defied you Sir," I answer

"Let's begin, then," he says.

…..

He places something soft on my left shoulder.

It's some kind of feather.

He moves it slowly from my left shoulder, running it over my left breast. I squirm away at the sensation as he circles it around my nipple before moving it to my right breast and bringing it to rest on my right shoulder.

He runs it lightly up one side of my right arm and then down the other side pausing at my armpit, I shiver at the tickling sensation.

He repeats the process on my left arm before moving it lightly up and down my legs. The light touch of the feather crisscrosses my body touching me in random places. It gives me goose bumps as my skin tries to anticipate where he is going to touch next. My senses are alive and wide awake.

The room goes still. I strain to hear what's coming next.

I jump in surprise at being struck, but there is no pain. I can feel that it's a flogger, but the strips are soft, like fur. He strikes me with it again.

With each hit my body instinctively tightens with anticipation of pain, but none comes. My senses are in a tailspin. My impulses are getting more and more confused with each hit when pain doesn't follow. And suddenly his words come blaring into my head like a siren.

"I will have you tied up and begging for release in my playroom."

NO! Oh no! Fuck! 

He continues to hit me with the fur flogger. My body continues to brace for what it thinks will be a hard hit only to be disappointed by soft fur.

My body is crying out for the pain it is anticipating but not getting.

It begins to rebel. My breathing becomes so rapid that I feel my chest is going to explode. I strain against my restraints.

I go still when I hear the handle of the flogger hit the floor. I listen to try and guess his next move.

My body waits and hopes for mercy. But none comes

Mr. Grey's hands are around me pulling me close to him. He grabs hold of my chin with his fingers and gently kisses my lips. He tenderly kisses my neck. Traveling to my breast, he gently and patiently suckles each nipple getting them wet then blowing them with cool air to make them pebble hard.

Oh my God, please just bite them a little.

I feel him bend down and tuck his thumbs in my panties. He drags them slowly down. His fingers caress my legs as they go. He tosses them to the side.

He is all hands mouth and tongue as he gently kisses my belly, and my inner thigh. One hand grabs hold of my ass locking me in place.

I wiggle it a little, silently asking him to spank it. I feel his hand tighten on my ass cheek and I know that he is tempted.

His other hand cups my pussy. And now every nerve in my body turns its attention to that hand. I can't stop myself from grinding against it, which spurs him to press harder. I throw my head back as I get lost in the sensation. My clit becomes hard and I moan loudly. I'm so close to cuming. I gasp and I fling my head back upright and still myself.

Instantly we both freeze as we realize that we are dangerously close to violating our agreement.

He un-cups his hand. He spreads my juices over my inner left thigh. I nearly come undone when he drapes my leg over his shoulder and begins to lick and suck it clean.

Oh God! Please!

I tell myself to hang on, to try and accept this punishment. I so want to please him, but my control is fading fast.

"Mmm, you taste so good. I can't wait to taste you properly. I want to lick that sweet pussy just like this," he whispers as his tongue moves in tight circles on my thigh. "It's going to feel so good. I won't stop until you cum all over me, baby."

And with that, goes my last ounce of control.

"Oh yes, Sir, please, please do it now. I need to cum, please," I beg desperate for release but he stops.

"No! Please don't stop," I beg and cry for him. I know I have displeased him but he has worked me up into a fit and I am desperate for release.

I begin to dip my pelvis down in hopes that my pussy will somehow reach his mouth.

He quickly stands up, grabs the back of my head and kisses me gently on the mouth. He rests his forehead on mine and I can feel his breath coming out quick and ragged.

He lifts the mask off of my face. He looks at me. I see fear in his eyes as he sees the tears streaming down my face. I look into his eyes and I lose it. I begin to cry uncontrollably.

"Shit, Anastasia," he says as he quickly unhooks me and carries me over to the bed. He sits me down and covers me with a sheet.

I put my head in my hands and sob.

"Anastasia," Mr. Grey says after a moment. He bends down in front of me and lifts my head so that he can look at me. He cups my cheeks with both hands and wipes away my tears. I shake my head out of his hands and begin to cry again.

"Did I hurt you, Anastasia," he says and I can hear the concern and uncertainty in his voice. I want so desperately to reassure him, but I can't. So I just shake my head negatively.

God he's being too nice, too gentle. I don't like the way it makes me feel.

I need to get away from him, so I run out of the room and down the hall to the sub's room, now understanding the pupose of having it. I close the door behind me and head to the bathroom. I try to calm down by splashing water on my face but it doesn't help at all. I jump into the shower. I begin to clean myself, washing off Mr. Grey and all signs of my betrayal of J.R.

Oh no J.R. I am so sorry. 

I get out of the shower and wrap myself in the robe I left a few days ago. I walk out of the bathroom to find Mr. Grey sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me. He looks so lost.

"Your clothes," he says nodding in their direction with his head.

"Thank you," I say to him.

"Do you want to be alone, Anastasia," he ask.

"No Sir," I answer as I sit next to him.

"Can you tell me what happened," I shake my head which cause him to tug at his hair in frustration.

"Why didn't you safe word," he asks me softly. His face so filled with anguish at the thought of causing me unwanted pain.

"There was no need to Sir, you didn't hurt me. It wasn't….you," I try to explain.

"Ms. Steele," he says firmly trying to be My Dom. I bite my lip to hide my smile because I know that my Dom has long since left the building, and in his place is this kind and caring man who would give anything to make this okay. If my heart didn't already belong to someone else, it would surely be his now.

"If this arrangement is going to work, we need to be honest with each other," He says.

"Honest," I repeat with a laugh. I'm getting upset all over again.

"You want me to be honest," I ask and he nods his head.

"Okay, umm let's see, well tonight just now in the playroom, while you were being gentle with me, I…." I start but he interrupts me.

"Anastasia, it was a punishment. I knew you wouldn't like it. You weren't meant to," he explains and I shake my head.

"But I did. I did like it. I was begging for you to…oh god," I say putting my head in my hands again as I remember exactly what I was begging him to do.

"Anastasia, Your body was expecting pain and when that didn't happen, it had to compensate," He says.

He is trying so hard to make what I did okay for me.

"No. Sir, you don't understand," I say getting up to put distance between us. "The other night I was home with …. and he started to…um he was gentle with me like you just were…but."

"You didn't feel anything," He finishes for me.

"No Sir," I start to cry again. "When the man I love touches me, I can't feel a damn thing unless I hurt myself, but when you, an almost complete stranger touches me I beg for him not to stop! God what is wrong me? I'm never going to be normal. I am beyond fucked up."

"Enough," he yells, coming to his feet and I jump in surprise "Anastasia, I am not going to stand here and let you beat yourself up!"

His face turns to utter confusion when I burst out into full blown laughter. After a moment, it dawns on him what he just said and he smirks at me.

"You feel better," he asks after I've calmed down and stopped laughing.

"A little," I confess. "I'm still confused. Why do I get aroused with you and not with J.R.?"

"Anastasia, this is all new to you. You need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Most importantly, you need to stop letting other people define what's normal and not normal for you. You have to figure out for yourself what you want and what you need. Maybe I can help you do that," He says.

"Thank you sir," I say to him as we reclaim our places back on the bed.

"Well as your Dom, it's part of my job," He says as he flicks the tip of my nose with his finger. And I giggle because it's not what I expect from him. He kisses me gently on the lips before leaving me to get dressed.

"Sir," I say and he turns to look at me. "How many submissives have you had?"

"Fifteen," He answers.

"And did they all stay here," I ask looking around the room.

"Yes," he answers. "But only on the weekends."

"The woman whose voice I heard on the phone was she your submissive," I ask.

"Yes, she was a long time ago," he answers.

"She called you Master,"I say and he nods.

"She did," he sighs. "It was her way of making me angry thinking that it would make me want to punish her."

"I don't understand. How would that make you angry," I ask.

"I never allow a sub to call me Master, unless she is special to me. She has to be someone that I value above everything else," he explains.

"Why did you stop seeing her," I ask.

"She fell in love with me and I didn't feel the same way," He says.

"Oh," I say. "Um, have you ever…I mean...Did you ever love any of them?"

"No," he says. "I don't do love, Anastasia."

"Oh," I say and my heart drops.

"But how many have called you Master," I ask.

"None," he says as he walks out of the room.

After I dress, I make my way downstairs. He seems lost in thought as he looks out the large window at the city below. I stand behind him and wait for him to acknowledge me.

"Do you have everything, Ms. Steele," he asks turning around to face me.

"Yes, Sir," I answer.

"Good," he says as he walks me to the elevator. "We will continue our training tomorrow then."

"Yes Sir," I confirm. "And Mr. Grey, I'm truly sorry for the things I said to you the other night. I didn't mean it. I'm not…I don't really feel like...I'm wasting my time…in fact it's quite the opposite."

"I know," he says and kisses me.

"Tomorrow Ms. Steele," He kisses me again. I swear that is becoming my favorite thing.

He nods at Taylor who I didn't even know was there and we step into the elevator.

He looks at me as the elevator doors begin to close and I grin as I see the wheels turning in his head.

"Anastasia," he says sternly.

"Sir," I answer, having just learned my lesson earlier.

He smirks at me as the doors close shut.

Later that night as J.R. is snoring softly beside me, I lay awake thinking about my time in the play room. There is only one thing that keeps playing in mind as I drift off to sleep.

He called me baby.


	9. Delightful Distractions

Addicted To Love

Chapter 9

Delightful Distractions

Ana's POV

I spend Friday morning packing up my cubicle and chatting with Mr. Grey on my laptop. He demanded I keep him company while he sits through a "boring" meeting with his department heads. He says it's to make up for the fact that I had to cancel our playroom sessions this weekend for my trip to Montesano.

Me: But sir, shouldn't you be paying attention to this meeting, after all

they do help you run your company.

I start to pack as I wait for his response. I find myself wondering how in the hell did I fit all this stuff in this tiny cubicle.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir: I read through all this shit an hour before any of them

came to work. Let them talk to each other. It makes them feel

important.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: Sir, what a horrible thing to say about your employees. I

would think you would have a higher opinion of the

commoners that work under you.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir: Nothing common about these pricks. I overpay them and then

I'm forced to babysit them. You are suppose to be distracting

me from work Ms. Steele.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: I am sorry sir, I am not myself this morning, you see I had an

intense session with my Dom last night and he refused to give

me an orgasm, so it makes it very difficult to function

correctly.

Ha! How's that for distraction?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir: Oh, Ms Steele, I'm sure your Dom would love to give you an

orgasm, in fact he'll do so right now if you're in such a need.

He's got to be joking.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: Sir?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir: Do you want to cum Anastasia?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: Yes, sir but I'm in a cubicle sir. Everyone can see me.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir: You could always come here.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: Are you being serious sir?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir: Very serious. Come here now.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: But how? I mean I just got to work.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir: Figure out a way. You have one hour to get here, or I will come

there and throw you across your desk and I don't care who

sees. When you get her, ask for Taylor, he will show you to

my office.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: yes sir.

Shit! Shit! Holy Shit! When will I learn not to tempt this man? Okay..okay I can do this.

I quickly throw the rest of my stuff in boxes. I phone my boss saying that I am feeling ill and need to go home. I throw my stuff in my car and race over to GEH.

…..

Walking through the lobby, I feel very intimidated.

I am surrounded by a sea of tall well dressed men rushing about with phones plastered to their ears and lives that are much too busy. I feel extremely self conscious and very out of place. It takes everything in me not to turn and run. I make my way to the front desk where two of the most beautiful blondes I've ever seen are smiling at me as I approach. Before I can ask for Taylor, he appears. I relax a little, as he smiles warmly at me.

He escorts me to the top floor. We walk pass another desk of beautiful smiling blondes and stand in front of an office door. Taylor informs me that Mr. Grey is expecting me and I should go right in. I take a deep breath and enter his office.

Wow, is all I can think as I stand there taking it all in, from the large seating area to the mammoth desk that occupies the middle of the room. Everything in this office is high tech, high end, and modern. It all screams power, including the beautiful man sitting confidently behind his huge desk, now staring intently at me.

I stand there at a lost as to what do now that I am actually in his office with him. My self confidence begins to plummet as I stand there in his world of high cost and class, in my simple low budget business attire.

Maybe he really didn't expect me to come. Maybe I've embarrassed him by showing up here. He's obviously use to seeing beautiful, well dressed women all day. Seeing myself next to them now, I know I can't possibly compete. He has to be just slumming around with me when he can have any one of them. Maybe training me is an act of his warped sense of charity. I'm so stupid. He's probably laughing his ass off every night at my expense.

Lost in my own insecurities, I didn't even notice him get up and walk toward me until I felt his body covering mine.

He pushes me back against the door, lifts my arms above my head and kisses me with such longing that all the bullshit I was just thinking about flies right out of my head.

I gasp for air and he slips his tongue in my mouth. I hear him moan as our tongues slow dance. He takes his left hand and locks the door then lifts me up into his arms. I warp my legs around his waist as he turns us around and carries me to his desk. He sits me on top, steps in between my open legs and begins to unbutton my blouse.

"Sir," I say, stopping his frantic movements. "What if someone knocks, or calls, or…" I say between kisses.

"My assistant knows not to interrupt us," He says.

Seeing that I'm satisfied with that, he refocuses on his task.

My lips never leave his as I shrug out of my shirt and help him out of his, along with his tie. He unhooks my bra freeing my breast. I moan at the warm feel of his hands as they gently run up and down the length my back.

He glances down to look at my nipples. Not giving him time to choose, I grab the back of his head and lead his mouth to the closes one. He latches on and begins to suck hungrily. I throw my head back and moan loudly. I stop short thinking someone might here.

As if reading my thoughts, he stops sucking long enough to tell me that his office is soundproof and to be as loud as I want before turning his attention back to my aching and enlarged nipples.

His hands find the hem of my skirt and he begins to slide it up my legs. He grabs hold of my panties and pulls them off along with my shoes.

Clothes are now flying everywhere as we frantically undress each other desperate to feel each other's skin. I reach for him and he quickly grabs my wrists and his whole body goes stiff.

"Don't touch my chest or upper back." He whispers.

"But why," I ask looking at his chest and seeing the small circles there.

"I'll tell you later," He says and I nod my head promising not to touch him there.

With one motion he sweeps his hand over his desk sending its contents scattering to the floor.

He turns his attention once again to my breast as he sucks each one. He then makes his way to my neck, my lips, stopping at my ear.

The feel of his breath makes me wet as he whispers.

"Let me taste you Anastasia, I've been dreaming of it since you left me last night," His mouth travels to my neck again leaving a trail of wet kisses.

I can feel his erection pressed slightly against my pussy, now dripping wet. There is no barrier between us. I want so desperately to buck up and bury him into me but I fight hard against it. I am torn between hating myself for the thought and wanting so much for it to happen.

"You're so fucking beautiful. So sexy. Let me taste you. Let me make you cum. I just want to make you feel good, baby," he tells me.

Oh God I can't take anymore

"Oh yes! Please, Sir," I whisper.

He grabs my face with his left hand, my chin in between his thumb and fingers. He looks at me for any signs of doubt, making sure I understand exactly what he's asking. He looks into my eyes as if waiting for permission.

I nod my head yes.

He lets out a quick breath as he kisses me hard on the lips. He pushes me down on his desk so that I am now lying face up and completely exposed. My body begins to shiver from the cold of the desk and the chill of the room.

He leans over and kisses my mouth. The heat of his body pressed into mine instantly warms me. I moan as his lips leave my mouth and work their way down my body. His tongue darts out and dips down into my belly button as it continues its journey.

He glides the palm of his left hand up in between my breast to stop my squirming. He nips my right inner thigh with his teeth then moves to my left. With both of my legs draped over his shoulder, he grabs hold of my waist and tugs me down so that I am only inches away from his mouth. His warm breath is now on my wet clit.

"Mmm, you smell so good," he moans as he inhales.

Oh Shit, that's going to make me cum. 

"Oh please Sir," I whisper.

"Tell me what you want Anastasia," he demands.

"Please I want to cum, Sir," I beg.

"Tell me what you want me to do, Anastasia," he demands.

"I want you to…oh Sir please…I need you…" I ramble on.

Just as I am about to give in to him and to my own selfish desires, everything comes to a crashing halt as my phone rings a familiar tune.

…..

"Hi," I simply say as I answer the call.

"Hey sweetheart, I know your working, but I wanted to hear your voice before you left this afternoon. What are doing," J.R. asks

"Oh, I'm just finishing up some stuff and... you know…making sure I have everything before I head out," I say.

"Alright sweetie, I'll let you get back to it. Drive safely okay, and call me when you get to your Dad's place. I'll be worrying until I hear from you," J.R. says

"I promise I will," I say.

"Okay, love you," he says

"I love you too," I whisper as I close my eyes.

I end the call and just stand there unable to move. I hang my head ashamed and disgusted with myself and my deception.

I dare not look at Mr. Grey because I know that he must be disgusted with me as well.

I go in search of my clothes so that I can get dressed and leave.

"Anastasia, wait," Mr. Grey calls and I stop my search. I keep my eyes on the floor.

"Look at me," he demands and shake my head. He comes to stand in front of me and lifts my head so that I have no choice but to look at him.

"I'm sorry," I whisper as he wipes a stray tear that falls down my cheek.

"How about Chinese," he says softly.

"I don't…understand," I say looking at him confused.

"Its lunch time, I'm hungry. Do you like Chinese food," he asks me.

"Yes.."I say dumbfounded by his good mood. "Yes, sir."

"Good," He says putting on his clothes. "Get dressed and I'll have something delivered to us."

Twenty minutes later we are cuddled up together on the large dark gray couch in his office eating our Chinese food.

I am laughing at his failed efforts to actually get the shrimp fried rice into my mouth with his chopsticks. We are both trying to feed each other, but we are getting more on us than in us.

Finally giving up, he takes a spoon and shovels a large amount into his mouth.

"Hey, what about me," I ask, and pretend to pout.

He laughs at me as I dramatically chew the large portion he places into my mouth as well.

"I like this," I say after we are almost done eating "I mean…it seems so…"

"Normal," he says as he puts the spoon back in the carton and places it on the table.

I look at him with guilt as he throws my hurtful word back in my face.

"Nothing about you and me is normal, Sir," I say. Seeing his mood quickly going south, I panic trying to think of the right words to say.

"I don't want normal with you," I say. Oh shit why can't I ever say what I mean.

"I mean I like what we have, Sir. I don't want…" I struggle.

"What? Anastasia what don't you want? And for that matter what do you want," he ask me.

"I don't know," I say to him.

"Yes you do," he demands and I look at him.

"I want commitment. I want a husband and kids. I want stability. I want consistency. I want safety, I want…normal," I whisper the last word.

"What about happiness? What about fulfillment? What about passion? What about peace of mind knowing that the person you're with accepts you for who you are," he counters me.

"Of course I want that," I say to him.

"But do you have that now, with your boyfriend? You spend so much time trying to hide who you are to conform into his idea of normal. Why? What are you getting out of it," he asks me.

"I'm getting a wonderful man who loves me," I say.

"He doesn't even know you, Anastasia," he yells at me.

"And you do," I ask.

"Yes, he says, more than you know. God it's like I'm beating my head against a fucking wall," He says tugging at his hair in frustration.

"What the hell does that suppose to mean," I ask offended.

"It means every time I think I'm getting through to you, you go and pull that 'I want normal' card and it's bullshit. You use it because you are terrified of who you are. You use it to hurt me and to push me away, because you know if you gave this half a chance…."

"What...huh," I ask and he says nothing.

"And what about you, Sir," I ask. "Are you happy with having submissives that you don't love and that are never allowed to love you? What do you want?"

He stares at me but still says nothing.

"See, it's not an easy thing to know is it," I ask.

"You," he finally says.

"What," I ask in complete surprise.

"I want you, Anastasia. I have since the moment I saw you. Why the hell do you think I'm doing this," he says again.

"Yes, I know, you want me as your submissive, with contracts and paperwork…" I say.

"Fuck the contracts, Anastasia. Fuck the paperwork," He says. "Do you think any of that shit matters at this point in whatever the hell this is that we're doing? Because, let's be honest here, we long since blurred the lines between Dom and submissive and…."

He stops as he catches himself.

"And what," I ask, knowing full well where he was headed.

"Ms. Steele," he says.

So now we are back to me being Ms. Steele. It looks like I'm not the only one who needs to get my shit together. Aw to hell with this!

"You know what, Mr. Grey, Sir. You're right. We have blurred the lines and I think it's time we made things more clear. I think we need to keep to our original agreement. This needs to stay…professional," I say.

"Perhaps, your right," he says taking a deep breath.

"Yes, Sir," I say to him.

"I should go I have a long drive to my dad's so…" I say gathering my things to leave.

"Anastasia, wait," He calls after me. "I…."

He starts to say something but stops himself.

"Have a good weekend, Ms Steele. Enjoy your time with your dad." He says. "And your new job on Monday." He adds as an afterthought.

"Oh God don't remind me," I say frowning.

"I thought this promotion was what you wanted," He asks me.

"It was until I found out I would be working for that asshole that you saved me from at chains," I say and that gets his attention.

"I wasn't aware that he worked with you. What was his name again," he asks.

"Jack Hyde" I say with disgust "Well I should go. Have a good weekend Sir," I say opening the door. The thought of him having a good weekend without me suddenly depresses me.

"Drive safely Mr. Steele. Taylor will see you to your car," He says nodding at Taylor who I hope wasn't standing there the whole time.


	10. Daddy Time

Addicted To Love

Chapter 10

Daddy Time

Ana's POV

The two hour drive home to my dad, gives me some much needed time to myself to just think.

I feel like I'm at a fork in the road and I have to chose which way to go.

One path leads me to Mr. Grey. I know what he was trying to say earlier in his office. He was right, we have blurred the lines in our arrangement. And I know he was being truthful when he says he wants me. But I don't know if that's a risk I'm willing to take. To leave everything I know to be his submissive, for how long, and then what happens to me when he's done with me? What happens if I fall in love with him, will he end things with me like the others? Fifteen women have been where I am now. Nothing makes me special to him, just number sixteen and counting.

Then there is the other path that leads to J.R, my very first love. He represents everything I thought I wanted, but not the one thing I need. It's true, he doesn't really know me. A huge part of our relationship is based on me pretending to be someone I'm not. When I tried to tell him who I was and what I needed, he refused to even try to understand. The more time I spend away from him the more it is becoming painfully clear that what we have might not be enough. I am hoping against hope that he opens up to the idea of BDSM. It's our only shot and I owe it to him to take it.

But for now, that has to wait for another day, because I'm on the path that leads me to the best man in the whole wide world.

…

I pull up in the drive way and hop out before I barely have the car in park. Like always, my dad comes barreling out of the front door to meet me.

"Annie honey," he says giving me a big bear hug that lifts me off my feet.

"Hi daddy," I say, hugging him right back.

He sits me down and holds me at arm's length giving me a once over.

"You look good Annie. That boy of yours seems to be taking good care of you. Are you eating? How's work? Why didn't Jacob come with you," he begins the 101 questions he asks every time I come home.

"Yes Daddy. It's fine. He had to work," I say in mantra like I always do.

"What's all this stuff in your car," he asks as he grabs my bag and leads me inside.

"Oh it's just stuff from work, I start my new job on Monday and I didn't want to take it all back to my apartment," I say to him.

"Is that right," is all he says and I know that means that I'm not fooling him one bit.

I go inside, put my stuff in my old room and go in search of Maggie, my step mom. Well actually she's my dad's girlfriend, but they've been together for so long; she's really like a second mom to me.

I find her out back in the garden picking vegetables for dinner.

"Hi, Mags," I say walking up to her.

"Annie! I didn't know you were here already," She says hugging me. I take the basket of vegetables and carry them in the house for her.

"I got an early start," I tell her as we join my dad at the kitchen table.

"So, Annie," my dad says after a minute. "Are you going to tell us what's going on, or are we going to have to guess," He swigs his beer and waits for me to answer.

"What do you mean," I ask sweetly.

"Well, you're here. I mean not that we are complaining, but you never just drop in on a days notice. So something must be wrong. Is it that man of yours," he asks.

"No," I answer.

"Hmm," my dad says. "I thought he meant business the last he and I talked. Do I need to come for a little visit?"

"Absolutely not," I say mortified at the thought.

"Raymond Steele! You let her alone now. She'll tell us when she's good and ready," Maggie chastises him.

"Fine," my dad gripes, getting up. "But nobody messes with my baby girl."

He kisses the top of my head and ventures outside. Before he goes he turns and gives Maggie his 'get to the bottom of it' look.

"Where's he going," I ask Maggie.

"Out to mark his territory, I guess," She says scooting closer to me.

"You know baby, your dad's been real worried about you. It's not easy for him knowing you're in such a big city and he's so far away," she starts with the guilt trip.

"I know and I really am fine, it's just…" I sigh. "Well…I've met someone."

"'Met someone,'" she repeats in surprise. "But what about Jacob?"

"And there lies the problem," I say to her.

"Ouch," she says. "Well, let's hear it?"

"It's not what you think, he and I are just frien….I mean it's more than that obviously, but," I ramble on.

"I'm not here to pass judgment," She says. "I just want to know what's troubling you so much that you felt like you had to running home."

I explain it all to her as best I can while leaving out the TMI.

"Well Annie, all I can say is that you have to listen to your heart. You can rationalize and analyze what's right and wrong until your dead and by then it won't make a damn bit of difference," She says. "If this guy is turning your head and making you feel some kind of way, then you have to wonder if Jacob is the right one for you. If he was, you wouldn't have paid attention to this other guy in the first place."

"Jacob is a great guy. I do love him," I say.

"I believe that," She says. "And I believe you don't want to hurt him, so do him, and yourself, and this new man a favor and figure this out, and quick. You can't play with people's lives this way. I mean look at your mother…she…"

She begins to use my mom and dad as an example, but thinks better about it. Am I really like my mother?

"If Jacob is not the one, then cut him loose and let him move on. If he is the one, you have to tell him everything and hope that he understands this," she says.

"I know your right," I say with a sigh.

"No matter what you decide, you know your mom, dad, and I love you," she tells me.

"I'm going to get dinner started, why don't you go and relax. I'll call you when it's ready," she says hugging me.

I head to my room and lay across my bed.

I grab my phone and call J.R.

"Hey sweetheart, are you okay," J.R. asks picking up the phone.

"I'm fine. I was just letting you know I made here safely," I answer.

"Okay, great. I miss you already," he says.

"I miss you too," I say. "I know you're busy, I won't hold you up. I love you."

"I love you too, I'll call you tomorrow. Say hi to Maggie and your dad for me," I tell him that I will and hang up.

I must have drifted off to sleep because I am awakened by my phone ringing.

"Hey Kit Kat what's up," I answer.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you were leaving town," She says pretending to be pissed off. "I thought we'd go clubbing this weekend. You need to help me find a new man."

"Really, Kate? Already," I say "Damn, I really liked Frank. I thought you would keep him around for a while."

"Yeah so did I," she breaths out. "I guess it wasn't meant to be. Speaking of which, how's Jacob?"

"That's a shitty thing to say, Katherine Kavanagh," I say.

"I was joking, sorry," She says. "Anyway, I didn't call you to talk about him. Next time you decide to take a road trip let me know so I can come along. Now I'm stuck having to spend my weekend with a broken heart and Julie!"

…..

After dinner, I turn in early, but I end up laying awake thinking. My mind drifts to thoughts of Mr. Grey and how we left things this afternoon. I cant believe how close I came to messing everything up. Mags is right I can't keep going on this way. I thought learning BDSM would be the perfect solution. I thought it would bring J.R. and I closer together, but all its doing is putting a spotlight on everything that's wrong.

I grab my blackberry, take a deep breath and do what I know is right.

"Anastasia," He answers and I stay quiet not sure how to begin. "What's wrong?"

"Mr. Grey," I begin. "I don't think that this...What we are doing is helping me the way I thought that it would. I thought that if I learned BDSM, then it would make my relationship better, but….all I feel is guilt and confusion."

"Anastasia, you feel guilt because you won't admit that maybe your relationship is the problem? You've had these feelings long before BDSM, if you didn't you wouldn't have been cutting yourself. Why are you torturing yourself over a man you don't really love," he says to me.

"I do…" I tell him but it rings hollow.

"No you don't. You love the idea of him and don't fool yourself into thinking that he loves more than the idea of you too," He says to me bluntly.

"Why are you so angry with me," I ask, hurt.

"Did you call me to tell me that you didn't want to see me again, Anastasia," he ask calmly.

"Yes…No…. I don't know. I thought I wanted to end things with you. To go back to the way things were, but then I don't because, now when I'm with J.R. I feel like shit, but after being with you I feel…" I catch myself.

"You feel what? Say it," he demands.

"I don't know," I lie to him.

"You do know! Say it," He demands. "FOR FUCK SAKES SAY IT, ANASTASIA OR SO HELP ME!…

"Normal," I yell scared of his threat. "I feel normal. And that makes me feel like shit because it's not fair to J.R. None of this is his fault. He wants to marry me. To share his life with me and I….I can't hurt him I can't tell him the truth so I run. I ran."

"You're running? Is that what we're doing? Is that all this is to you," he spits out.

"No, Sir," I say quickly. "I meant I ran here. I ran home to my dad."

After a moment, he laughs

"Well," he says."If anyone can get you sorted out…"

I gasp

"OH MY GOD! I mean my REAL FATHER! You have a filthy mind, Mr. Grey," I say pretending to be disgusted.

"I knew who you meant. I just wanted to…I don't know... make you feel better," He says and I can tell he is smiling.

"How do you do that," I whisper.

"Do what," he ask.

"Make me feel better," I say.

"Damn it, Anastasia if you would just….you have it in your head that he is the perfect guy and if marry him than all of these other feelings that you have will just magically go away and you'll live some happy storybook fairytale. Do you ever wonder what happens the day after the damn fairytale wedding, Anastasia? Ever wonder why they never go beyond that part? All I ask is that you take the weekend and really think about what you want. Then, if you decide to end your training, I will respect your decision. But once your training is over, we will be over. Understand?"

"Yes Sir. I understand," I say. "I promise, I will think about it."

"So…. did you get any work done after I left," I ask trying to keep him on the phone.

He chuckles

"Not really" he says. "My brother came by and it all went to hell after that."

"I didn't know you had a brother! Why don't' you ever talk about him," I ask.

"Because, I don't talk about my personal life with my submissives," he says.

"Oh," I say hurt that he put me back in my place "I'm sorry, Sir."

"Don't' be," He whispers. "I have and older brother, Elliot and a younger sister, Mia."

"You're a middle child," I say excited. "Wow… what about your parents?"

I snuggle down under the covers. The sound of his voice sooths me as he tells me all about his parents and his life growing up.

….

Saturday dawns a great day that dad, Maggie and I spend out at Lake Sylvia.

We leave Maggie to set up day camp while dad and I go down to fish.

"Dad are you sure anything is even biting this time of day. I thought fish usually slept in," I say teasing.

"Now baby girl, I taught you better than that," Ray says as he baits and throws his line.

"Daddy, can you put the worm on for me," I whine like I did when I was little. And he laughs.

"Oh Annie, Where has the time gone? Seems only yesterday, you were no bigger than a minute and now look at you, living in a big city, starting your career, getting married. Soon enough you'll be having babies. I'll tell you right now Annie. I don't want to be called Grandpa. We'll have to come up with something else," Ray says and laughs.

"Married," I ask in shock. "Why would you think that, I mean both J.R. and I decided to wait until our careers are set before we even think about that."

"Oh, I was just thinking out loud baby girl," Ray tries and fails to cover his slip.

"Dad," I say trying to get his attention away from the fishing pole he is now so interested in.

"Did J.R. talk to you...Dad? Is he gonna ask me," I ask.

"Well, I told you he meant business," Ray says.

Oh God!

...

Three hours later Ray and I head back to Maggie with our catch.

"Oh the poor little things," Maggie says as we had her the trout.

"This coming from a woman who could cut the balls off a bull," Ray says to me and I laugh.

"Hey I am from Texas, and don't knock 'em till you try 'em," Maggie says as she grabs Ray's chin and slips him her tongue.

"Oh my god, really," I exclaim, covering my eyes and turning my back.


	11. Today's Lesson: YOU ARE THE SUBMISSIVE

Today's Lesson: YOU ARE THE SUBMISSIVE

(Friday) Two weeks later 

Jacob's POV

I busy myself around the apartment while I wait for Ana to come home from work. I requested off tonight because I need to spend more time with my girl. We are going out with a buddy of mine. His brother threw him the company party I was forced to work a few weeks ago. Turns out he's a pretty laid back guy. He owns a construction company which is very successful from what I hear. Anyway, he invited us to the Mile High Club. Ana is bringing Kate and Julie along.

According to my buddy, this place is pretty hard to get into. Luckily for us his brother owns it and left our names at the door so we shouldn't have any problems. The girls are really excited about it. Ana said Julie has been trying to get into this place for months. Ana swears she's jealous that we beat her to it and now she's been reduced to a tagalong status. That damn girl thinks way too much of herself.

We make it to the club and up to the top floor. Ana, Kate, and Julie head straight to the bar while I go in search of my buddy.

"Hey Jake, over here," he waves me over to a private area.

"Hey Elliot, my man, how's it going," I shake his hand and he introduces me to his brother.

"So where's your girl," Elliot asks. "She brought some hot friends along right?"

Just then Ana and the girls join us. She and Kate have this deer caught in the headlights look while Julie just stares open mouthed and star struck.

"Sweetheart," I say as I pull Ana close to me and drape my arm over her shoulder. This is Elliot, the buddy I told you about."

"Elliot this is my girl Ana and her friends Kate and Julie," I don't think Elliot hears a word I'm saying because Kate is now in his crosshairs and he's not letting her go. I see Julie starring at Elliot's' brother, so I introduce him.

"Julie, Kate, Ana this is Elliot's younger brother, Christian Grey. He owns the place," I add more for Julie's interest than anyone else's. I feel Ana go stiff in my arms.

Kate finally takes her eyes off of Elliot long enough to give a look to Ana who now has a death grip around my waist. Christian stands and greets both Kate and Ana formally, but seems to have taken a liking to Julie.

I feel good now, realizing that we are all matched up, I can relax.

After a while, Kate and Elliot are all over the dance floor, not that they have to fight for room, this section of the club is pretty empty. Christian and Julie, spend most of the night tucked away in the corner engrossed in private conversation. I try to engage with Ana, but she seems distracted, almost angry.

I pull her onto the dance floor and we start to move. She keeps glancing over at Julie and I wonder if they are fighting. I swear Ana is throwing daggers at her as she works her magic on Christian.

Just as he glances our way, Ana pulls me in to a long deep kiss, her tongue plunging in and out of my mouth. She reaches down and grabs hold of my dick so hard it makes me moan. I grab hold of her waist and press her into me. She is turning me on fast. She is never like this. I am so lost in what she's doing, I forget where we are.

I guess she remembers because she suddenly stops, pushes me away, and announces she needs to use the bathroom. She stops to, I assume, ask for directions from some guy with a buzz cut and he directs her to what looks like a VIP section.

Before she disappears down the hallway, she turns, looks at Julie and rolls her eyes. I see Christian frown, he must have noticed it.

This girl and her mood swings are driving me crazy. I swear she's always on her period.

I make my way back to the table to keep Julie company since I see Christian is no longer sitting with her.

"Julie, where's Christian," I ask her. "You two seemed joined at the hip?"

"Oh I guess he needed to handle some business, I saw him headed toward the bathrooms," She points in his general direction.

I get up to head that way, wondering what's keeping Ana, when I am stopped by Kate.

"Hey Jacob, come and dance with me, we rarely talk anymore," she says grabbing my arm.

"Yeah go for it, dude," Elliot says, sliding close to Julie. "I'll keep Julie here company."

As she leads me to the dance floor, Kate gives Elliot a look and he slides away from Julie to sit opposite her in the booth.

I laugh.

He's whipped already. I need to warn him about this chick. And what the hell is keeping Ana?

...

Ana's POV

Oh my God this can't be happening! What the hell am I going to do?

I splash water on my face for the third time, trying to stop the blush that is threatening to form. I need to calm down. Thank God this is a private bathroom. I couldn't handle people right now.

I've been training with Mr. Grey nearly every day for the last two weeks. He never mentioned he was coming here tonight.

I can't stay locked in this damn bathroom forever! Well, I'll just do what he first told me to do. I will just not respond to him, since he hasn't given me permission to anyway. He barely looked at me. So what if the fact that he's been eye fucking Julie all night is pissing me off? 

I'm here with J.R. anyway.

What the fuck, am I really this petty? I have no right to be acting jealous. Besides, he's just doing it on purpose to rile me up. Why the hell didn't it occur to me that Mr. Grey's Elliot could be J.R.'s Elliot? Did he know I would be here tonight? I'm sure his brother mentioned names to him when he asked him to hang out. I bet he set this whole thing up.

"WELL FUCK HIM," I yell at myself in the mirror.

Two can play this game, I'm going right out there, grab J.R. and fuck him right in the middle of the dance floor. Take that Christian Fucking Mr. Grey!

Determined, I square my shoulders and start for the door. I pull it open and look up right into a pair of very angry gray eyes.

He moves forward quickly, pushing me back into the bathroom. Before he closes and locks the door, I look over his shoulder and I see Taylor taking up position in front of it.

I stand there looking around wildly, like a trapped animal about to be devoured by its predator.

"Anastasia," he says in warning.

"Mr. Grey," I answer coldly.

"Who is the 'him' you want to fuck, Ms. Steele," Oh shit he heard that!

"What did you think you were doing out on that dance floor," he asks. "Do you think that was appropriate behavior?"

He walks forward as I move back. I am backed up into a counter.

"Anastasia, you will answer me when I ask you a question," his voice is low and menacing.

"I'm not sure I know what you are referring to…..Sir," I add quickly.

"I am referring to you ramming your tongue down your boyfriend's throat and hand fucking him in the middle of the dance floor," His voice is much too calm.

"Well,….Sir," I begin softly. "He is my boyfriend, it's not like I just meet him tonight or anything." I say sarcastically.

I can feel the heat of his anger radiating from him. He leans down close to my ear and whispers.

"And was that little display of affection for his benefit…or mine," he says. "Regardless, you have displeased me. Do you understand what happens now, Ms. Steele?"

"Yes," I whisper as realization dawns that he means to punish me right now in the bathroom. He nips my ear hard with his teeth and I gasp.

"Yes….what," He asks.

"Yes, Sir," I correct myself.

"Turn around Ms. Steele I'm going to punish you now," He says as he moves away to give me room to comply.

I turn my back to him and look at him over my right shoulder.

"What are your safe words," he asks.

"Yellow and Red, Sir," I answer.

"Take off your panties and lift that sexy dress of yours," I do as he asks with no hesitation and I know he is pleased.

"Give me the panties Ms. Steele," I pause and look back at him. I place my panties in his waiting hand. He buries his nose in them and inhales deeply.

"Mmmmmm, I can smell your arousal. Did kissing that boyfriend of yours get you this turned on," Please don't really make me answer that.

He then folds my panties and tucks them in his pants pocket.

I catch my breath as he takes off his belt and I realize that he is going to spank me with it.

"Place your palms flat on the counter Ms. Steele," he demands. I do what he says, placing both my palms flat. I lean over and the cold silver metal makes my nipples harden.

"Do you know why you're being punished," he commands me to answer.

"Because I tried to make you jealous by seducing my boyfriend in front of you, Sir," I answer.

"No, Ms. Steele, try again," He commands and I comply.

"Because I was jealous that you were flirting with my friend, Sir," I answer.

"No! Ms. Steele," he says and he slaps me hard on the ass with his belt.

Oh my God it feels so good. I will give him the wrong answers for the rest of my life if it means being punished like this.

He grabs a fist full of my hair, yanks my head back, and holds me steady.

"You. Are. Being. Punished. Because. You. Are. The. Submissive. You. Are. Not. In. Control. You. Do. Not. Get. To. Manipulate. Your. DOM."

His movements are very controlled as he brings the belt down and hits me hard on the ass emphasizing each word. Each hit is harder than the last. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think of J.R. and I pray that Kate is able to keep him away. But those thoughts are quickly pushed back.

I no longer care.

My body is singing as its every fiber is now focused on the delicious pain that it is receiving. If J.R. was to walk in here at this moment, I would beg for Mr. Grey not to stop. Every hit takes me higher and closer to where I have needed to be all night.

My pussy is soaked. I can feel my juices begin to run down my legs. I am so close to Cuming. I place my forehead on the cool metal counter preparing myself to be overtaken by what I know is going to be an explosive orgasm. My body begins to tremble and prepare for release, I'm not sure my legs will hold me up much longer.

Now, he is still and the belt is discarded on the floor.

I stay leaning on the counter desperate as to what action to take. My whole body is screaming for more.

Please! More!

"You are not allowed to cum without permission, Ms. Steele," He says.

Damn how did I forget that part?

"May I cum please, Sir," even I can hear the desperate need in my voice.

"Sit on the counter. Open your legs and play with yourself," he commands and I obey.

"You need to be quick, Anastasia," I begin to play with myself.

I take my right hand and begin to quickly stimulate my clit coiling it up into a tight ball. My orgasm begins to build again. My clit is pebble hard and it begins to uncoil.

Suddenly Mr. Grey grabs my wrist, preparing to take it way. I work at my clit like I'm possessed trying to make myself cum before he snatches my hand away.

"I control your orgasms, Anastasia," He says and I can hear the arousal in his voice. I glance down at his pelvis and see that his dick is straining hard against his pants, which sends me closer to the edge."

"Pa...Please, Sir, may I cum…please," I whisper.

"No," he says angrily. He yanks my hand away from my clit.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck Him! He was never going to allow me to cum. 

I'm not giving him the satisfaction of begging him. No matter how much I really want to. I am going to accept this fucking punishment even if it kills me.

"Fix yourself, Ms. Steele," he says as he adjusts his pants.

I hop down off of the counter and do my best to straighten out my dress and my hair.

"Fuck you smell so good," he says running his nose up my neck to the hollow of my ear. "mmm…so fucking sexy."

"May I have my panties back please, Sir," I ask keeping my eyes downcast. I try to hide the smirk on my face.

"No," he says angry again. "And you are not allowed to play with yourself. If you need a release try fucking that boyfriend of yours." He sneers at me. "Leave now, I'm sure he's wondering what's kept you. I hope you're as good a liar as you are a manipulator, Mr. Steele."

He leaves the restroom and I quickly follow behind him. He nods at Taylor who leaves us alone to make his way back down the hall.

"What is your problem, Christian," I say, my anger at his insult making me bold. You think I would have learned my lesson by now, but nope, not me.

He turns around quickly and slams me against the wall. I look around realizing that we are now in a very public hallway where anyone walking by can see us. I look up with wide eyed surprise at Christian.

Oh Shit. I think my Dom has arrived?

He takes my face in his right hand grabbing my checks with his thumb and index finger. He turns my face to look at his, pinching my checks together so hard that my lips are pushed out into a duck pout.

"My problem MS. STEELE is that this little arrangement we have is of your creation. YOU are the one in the COMMITED relationship with YOUR BOYFRIEND. I have agreed to YOUR terms. I have also warned you that I DON'T LIKE TO SHARE. It is taking every ounce of control I have to stop myself from going up to that BASTARD, that you are killing yourself to be with, and punching him right in his face. So DO NOT provoke me again, Anastasia. And don't think I didn't see that FUCKING eye roll you gave me earlier. When speaking to me, you will address me as SIR or MR. GREY."

"Yes Sir, I'm very sorry, Mr. Grey," I whisper. And just like that, my Dom is gone again. He backs away from me. I see J.R. coming into view with Kate hot on his heels.

"Sweetheart, what took you so long," he says looking at me with a frown.

Kate's eyes go wide as she takes in my appearance and I realize I must look like I've just been fucked.

"Are you okay, Ana? What the hell happened to you," J.R. says as he looks from me to Mr. Grey, to me again and I watch in horror as his confused face changes into realization.

Oh Shit! He knows!

…..

Christian's POV

Anastasia stands there frozen, unable to say a word.

"I'd like to answer that if you don't mind, Ana," I say, having to use her God awful nickname for the first time since we've met.

She looks over at me and I can see the tears forming in her eyes as I'm sure she knows that we've just been caught.


	12. Christian Grey

Addicted To Love

Chapter 12

Christian Grey

Christian's POV

I pause for a brief moment, trying to decide which way I want to play this. Everything I've worked towards these last few weeks is finally coming to fruition. I could easily move this poor bastard along in his thinking, knowing he will conclude that something just went on between me and his "girlfriend". Then all of this nonsense will be over with and I'll have her as mine. Well, let's face it, she's really mine already. She has been from the moment I saw her in that damn club. Since that day it's all been schematics on my part.

Christian's flash back 

Perhaps it's time to take on another submissive. It's been months since I've had one.

My old friend Elena use to supply me with subs, but after that last debacle with one Ms. Leila Williams, she and I have parted ways. Since then, I've had little desire for a long term sub. The thought of one leaves a bad taste in mouth. Thus far I've been content with the companionship I get from the escort services.

Rarely do I frequent clubs, it's far too dangerous for some one of my standing, but tonight I'd gotten a frantic call from Leila saying she was in some type of trouble and asked me to meet her here at Chains. I know it's probably bull shit, but I'd never forgive myself if something happened to her tonight.

So here I am, on a Saturday fucking night, dragging poor Taylor along on what's suppose to be his off day, looking for an ex-sub I barely give two shits about.

Of course when I find her, the psychotic bitch is strapped to a Saint Andrew's cross being beaten by some leathered up fucker in a gimp suit. I guess this is her desperate attempt at making me jealous. I've just washed my hands of this bitch, and I need to make damn sure she knows it.

But now, I feel so much gratitude towards her I'm tempted to reward her in my playroom one last time. After all if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here now looking at this beautiful creature that just walked through the door, gracing this rat hole with her presence.

It's obvious she hasn't been here before. She seems so out of her depth. She's also oblivious to these horny bastards in here that are eye fucking her as she moves around the room.

I must admit, I am drawn to her. That pale skin in perfect contrast with her thick, long chestnut hair that caresses softly against the swell of her tits. She is a siren. She is sexy as hell, but at the same time so pure and innocent. She looks like she's barely been touched. And she is without her Dom.

I need to keep my eye on her, only for her safety of course.

I find myself stalking her every move like a love sick teenager. I need to see her face, but she wisely keeps her head down, looking only at the floor. I follow as she makes her way to the back room where Leila is still doing her scene.

I thought she would turn and run at the sight of this hooded freak beating on Leila, but to my surprise she is extremely turned on. I swear every guy in here just turned from that scene to look at her as she fights against an orgasm right in the middle of the fucking room.

I can tell she's embarrassed and I was on my way to rescue her, but some other prick beat me to it. So once again, I follow closely behind them as he helps her back to the bar and orders her a drink.

I'm too far away to hear the conversation, but I can tell by her body language that he is making her very uncomfortable. I'm relieved to see her get up to leave, but then that fucker grabs her. Now I'm pissed that this jackass has his hands on what's soon to be mine. I'm forced to come to her rescue.

"I believe the lady isn't interested," I tell this fucker as I pull her out of his grasp and steadies her back on her feet. I can feel her eyes on me, but I'm not taking my eyes off this jackass until he gets the message.

This could be fun. I haven't been in a bar fight since I was teenager.

After a moment of trying to intimidate me in this damn staring contest, he smartly backs down. Before he leaves he calls her name "Anastasia Steele." I resist the urge to pop this bastard in his filthy mouth for soiling her beautiful name.

"Are you all right, Anastasia," I ask her.

For the first time that night, I look down into those amazing eyes. They are by far the most enchanting eyes I have ever seen, large powder blue orbs that I am now completely lost in. I am drowning in the emotion that I see there. She looks right into me, as if she is really seeing me. The thought of that is unsettling, but I have nowhere to hide. I am caught up in her spell and I am unable to run away.

"Yes, Sir. Thank you for helping me out," My beauty speaks, and the sound of Sir escaping from those plump lips along with the sound of her sweet voice is nearly my undoing.

I guide her outside because there is no way in hell I'm letting her stay in this shit space for another moment. I meet up with Taylor outside and he follows a step behind as I walk Ms. Steele to her car. The reason I was at the club to begin with has long since left my mind as I engage her in conversation. She tells me that she was just "curious" about the place because a friend mentioned it to her.

Now usually I respect a Dom and what he allows for his sub, but it's unfuckingbelievable that her Dom would allow her to go out to a BDSM club without him. And when I lecture her on that point, my beautiful girl utters the seven most tempting words I have ever had the pleasure of hearing.

"But I don't have a Dom, Sir," she says with such innocents.

Fuck it all to hell. I want her.

It takes everything in me not to stop her from driving off in that death trap she thinks is a car, but I wait patiently, looking on as she drives out of sight before I take out my phone.

"Welch, full background check. Anastasia Steele. I want to know everything, parents, friends, bank account, medical records, I want it all. On my desk first thing Monday morning," I demand and hang up before he says a word.

That prick at the bar did me a favor calling her by her full name.

…

It's Monday morning and just as I knew he would, Welch has the full report on Ms. Steele waiting for me on my desk. I spend most of the morning locked in my office studying its contents. There wasn't anything remarkable about it. With the exception of her mother's multiple marriages, it was pretty bland.

How the hell did you end up in BDSM, Ms Steele?

Relationship status shows that she has a live in boyfriend, Jacob Reilly. To my delight, Welch has actually done his job correctly and provided me with his background check as well.

His life is a bit more colorful:

· In and out of emergency rooms for suspicious injuries as a child.

· Multiple accidents that resulted in having being treated for various fractured and broken bones.

· Teachers reported seeing unexplained cuts and bruises on several different occasions.

· Removed from home by child protective services until parents divorced and mother received full custody. At which time all injuries and emergency room visits ended.

· Court appointed therapy for depression brought on by child hood trauma.

· Therapist Dr. John Flynn

Fucking Flynn

Obviously this Jacob Reilly was severely abused as a child. This causes me to be concerned for Ms. Steele. I hope that this boyfriend is not emulating his father's abusive behavior. I need to find out more about this. Maybe I'll pay good old John a surprise visit.

…

I have Taylor drop me off at Escala. I instruct him to go to SIP and bring Ms. Steele to me. He leaves with orders to not return here without her. I shoot off an email to my assistant, Andrea, asking her to email a copy of the NDA to me.

I look up expectantly to see Taylor opening up my office door.

"Mr. Grey, Ms Steele to see you," he says smugly as he steps aside to allow her room to enter.

"Thank you Taylor," I say to him wondering why the fuck I'm thanking him for doing his job.

"Have Andréa, email me the paperwork I requested and make sure we are not disturbed," I say to him.

Now go away, I want to spend time alone with little Ms. Steele here.

"Please have a seat Ms. Steele," I direct her to a chair in front of my desk.

She looks quite fuckable in that tight blouse and mini skirt. My dick jumps to attention as I see the nipples of those perfectly round perky breasts peek out at me.

I relax a little after we've gotten that nasty NDA business out of the way. Now we may talk a little more freely.

I ask her how she got involved with BDSM because quite frankly she doesn't look like she's had much vanilla sex let alone kink. She confirms this by telling me that she actually has no experience at all with the lifestyle and that her best friend , Kate, told her all about it.

Kate's name wasn't mentioned in the background check. I am going to have to find out more about this, Kate, especially if she has this much influence over my sub.

My sub? I can't take this girl on with no previous experience. There is no way she will be able to meet my needs. Fuck! But I hate to let this one go. Maybe I can train her. Taper down my aggressiveness long enough to introduce her to this lifestyle. Mold her to fit my needs. This might work.

"Anastasia, I am a Dominate. Saturday, you said you didn't have one. I've asked you to come here because I wanted you to be my submissive. Now, upon learning that you have no experience with the lifestyle, I am forced to rethink things. I would very much now like for you to be my submissive in training. What that means is that I will take you under my care and teach you all the tools you will needed to become a submissive for a Dom should you ever choose to," I explain to her.

Make no mistake Ms. Steele, if you are half as good as suspect you can be, you will have your pick of Doms. After I've had my fill of you, of course.

"Mr. Grey I would very much like that, but there are so many things wrong with this. For one, your right. I have zero experience with sex. Mr. Grey, I am a virgin and I don't plan on losing my virginity anytime soon, and finally….

She has got to be fucking joking? What about this boyfriend? Surely he's not allowing this virginity bullshit to continue. He lives with her for fuck sakes, get it done, man. I really have to meet this prick.

"Are you two exploring this together than," I ask and she shakes her head no. "Well now I'm intrigued. Even though you are in love with your boyfriend, you are willing to cheat on him?"

Oh Ms. Steele, you are a naughty little thing aren't you? Unfortunately, I don't like to share. This could be a deal breaker.

"No, no it wouldn't be like that. Please let me explain, you see my boyfriend, as great as he is, he really can't meet certain….needs. Mr. Grey, I like pain. I find pleasure in it. It arouses me. I'm what you might call a masochist," She explains.

She has just about knocked me out of my chair. Is she sitting there on that pretty little tight, sweet ass of hers, informing me that she enjoys receiving pain and not only does she enjoy it but she needs it for her arousal.

Masochists, she says she is. Well fuck the shit out of me.

Now, I believe I have just pissed her off by questioning her….ailment. She is on a rant about her stepfather and how he used to beat her to arousal. She waits for me to comment….I've got nothing. What can I possibly say to that?

I swear I want to listen to everything she is saying, but my mind has been taken over by my dick because all I am able to register is "pain…..orgasm….. cuming hard…..squirting…..soaking panties."

My dick is pressed so tight against my fucking pants it's about to explode. I am this close to excusing myself so that I may go and jack off.

I have to have her. Now! Fuck the boyfriend!

And just when I was about to throw caution to the wind and give her the damn submissive contract to sign she goes and blows it all to hell.

"It wasn't until I got serious with my current boyfriend that those old feelings resurfaced again. It's gotten to the point now to where I can't have an orgasm unless I cut first," She says.

I was too busy listening to my dick that I must have completely missed the part where she says she has to cut to get an orgasm. Is she seriously telling me that she has to cut into that perfect skin to cum?

Oh no, no that won't do at all.

"You see that's the main reason why I can't go all the way with my boyfriend. I'm afraid that he will see my scars and I'll have to tell him that I've been cutting myself to orgasm. I know I can't hide myself forever, but when he does see me I want to be able to look him in the eyes and tell him that I know longer need to cut myself. So I guess I'm looking for alternatives and BDSM seems like it would work. I'm hoping J.R., my boyfriend, will join me in the lifestyle," She says

Yeah, sure he can join. Whatever it takes to get you to be mine Ms Steele. Now let me pretend I actually give a fuck.

"Ms. Steele," I say clearing my throat. "I understand some of your reasoning, but I'm not sure if this is the way to go and I'm not sure I can help you in the way that you need, in a way that's right, or even healthy. The fact that you are going to such extremes to hide all this from your boyfriend makes me think that he will never accept it and I think deep down, you know that. "

I pause briefly, pretending to think, then I continue.

"So if you want to be with him, the only way I see it working is for you to learn how not to depend on cutting for pleasure. The BDSM lifestyle will not give you that. It may take away your need to cut, but you will still be depending on pain for your release. Have you tried therapy? I would be more than happy to introduce you to my therapist. Or maybe he would be able to recommend someone who deals with sex and pain addiction."

And she thinks I'm fucking serious. Oh if she would have called my bluff.

"With all due respect Sir, I have run the gambit with therapist. None of it has helped. And to be honest my 'addictions' are really none of your concern. It is my job to help myself. I have made up my mind that this is the way I want to do it and I am now asking for your guidance in the BDSM lifestyle," She says.

Well, Well. Ms Steele has teeth.

I truly believe that once I present this to my boyfriend, he will agree. He will be my Dom and then you could help us both,"she continues to tell me.

And now I'm pissed.

"I am not going to advise another man on how to fuck you Ms. Steele," I spit out. "And with all due respect to you, I have had my fair share of psychotic subs and, a Dominate actually, who for some reason or another attach themselves to me. I'm not looking to add another one to the list!"

Oh no Ms. Steele, this loser you've attached yourself to is on his own. I'll be happy to pass him on to Elena though, I'm sure she'll help him out.

She tells me what I already know, that she has intimacy issues. And then she actually pouts.

She is So fucking cute. My God I want so much to spank that feisty little ass. 

"A contract Ms. Steele, not for you to sign, but only to give you some idea of what is expected. Read it carefully and feel free to ask questions," I say giving her the contract. I don't expect her to sign it yet. She can't agree to be mine until she rids herself of the dead weight she thinks is a boyfriend.

She and I come to an agreement of sorts. I sacrifice fucking her, but I nearly cum in my pants when she bites down on that suckable bottom lip and tells me she is willing to accept any punishment, no matter how severe.

I am in hook, line, and fucking sinker and I must have her. I will have her. 

I will be the one to fuck you, Ms. Steele. You won't even see me coming for you.

I slide her the submissive package.

"Inside, you will find a phone and a laptop. Use only these devices when contacting me. You do realize that even with the best precautions, there is always a chance that your boyfriend will discover what you're doing before you're ready to bring him in? How do you plan on explaining your absence to him when you and I are….training together? Surely he won't buy the 'out with friends' or 'working late' excuses for long? If he finds out, on his own, he won't understand. He will see it as betrayal."

And I assure you he will find out.

"You needn't worry, Mr. Grey," She assures me "My boyfriend works evenings and weekends. We can meet for a few hours on any day except Tuesdays and Wednesdays which are his off days."

"Besides," she adds as an afterthought "We won't be doing this without him for long anyway…. Right?"

Oh yes we most certainly we will.

Purposely ignoring her question, I rise from my chair.

"The cutting has to stop Anastasia. As your acting Dom, I am the one who controls your pleasure and your pain. And to be perfectly honest I am unhappy with the idea of you cutting and scaring that beautiful body of yours. Strip for me Anastasia, let me see you," I demand of her.

She hesitates and proceeds to question me.

We can't have that.

"Do not question me Anastasia," the tone of my voice makes her jump.

Get use to it Ms. Steele

"As your Dom, I give the orders and I expect for you to follow them, quickly and without hesitation. Now take off your clothes," I yell.

She kicks off her high heel shoes and slowly strips out of her skirt and blouse.

Is she doing this little strip tease on purpose? And what the fuck was that sexy little look she just gave me?

She is standing in front of me naked, exposed, vulnerable, and completely at my mercy as I walk around inspecting every inch of her hot body.

"Hands at your side," I chastise and she obeys immediately unfolding her arms and uncovering her belly showing the small pale scars from her cutting.

I try not to show my anger as I inspect the damage. It actually doesn't look too deep. With time the scars should disappear, but she must stop cutting in order for that to happen.

"Anastasia," I stand behind her to hide my rock hard erection because even with those scars, she is by far the most breath taking woman I have ever seen. I lean down to whisper in her ear and I feel her breathing accelerate as her body responds to my closeness.

You see? Your body already knows who you belong to, Ms. Steele.

"From this moment on, if at any time I see that you have cut yourself, our arrangement will be terminated immediately do you understand," I ask her.

"Yes. "She says softly and I can't resist smacking that tight ass so hard that she jumps. She inhales sharply

Was that a moan? Fuuuuckk!

"Yes what," I say. Mmmm say it Ms. Steele.

"Yes sir," she corrects herself

"Good girl," I whisper. "You may get dressed and leave now."

Yes, leave. NOW, before I have that naked ass bent over my desk.

Before she opens the door I call her back.

"One other thing, if ever we cross paths out in public, you will not look at me, or react to me in any way unless I give you permission to do so is that clear," I tell her.

The last thing we need is the paps getting wind of this. I wonder if she knows who the fuck I am. She doesn't seem too concerned about it.

"Yes, Sir," she says and gives me a questioning look.

"And don't worry Ms. Steele. I will be just as discrete. We wouldn't want that boyfriend of yours finding us out before you're ready now would we," I ask her and she nods her head. I can't help but smirk at her.

"Have a good day, Anastasia. I will be in touch. If at any time you need to reach me, remember to use your laptop or blackberry," I say to her.

…

Tuesday Morning finally dawns and brings me out of my restless sleep.

I spend most of the night picturing the delectable Ms. Steele naked and squirming in my playroom. I swear I had to jack off three times last night. And now here I am again with a rock hard erection.

I look at the time and see that it's still early, but I decide to give her a call anyway.

I ring her blackberry and to my surprise a male voice picks up. Now isn't this the rat's ass? Did she not even bother to hide the damn thing for fuck sake.

…..

I walk into GEH pissed. I open my office door to find the one thing that I wasn't expecting this morning.

"What do you want Elliot? I'm busy," I say as I toss his ass out of my chair and sit down.

"You just got here, and is that anyway to talk to your older brother who you haven't seen in a week," He says.

"Has it been that long? I haven't even missed you," I say. "Now what do you want?"

"Ouch, I'm insulted, can't I even check up on my baby bro," he says pretending to be hurt and I give him the look.

"Alright, I have a bit of a problem," He says.

"Uh huh," I say in return and he gives me the finger.

"Anyway. My crew finally finished the Galloway Project early this morning and traditionally, after a project is done, that night we have sort of a get together, you know nothing fancy, just a way to blow off steam and celebrate," He says

"Cut to it Elliot, I have a meeting," I say wanting to speed him along, not that I'm not enjoying his company. In spite of what he might think I like having my big brother around. He and I are polar opposites, but we have always been close. Ever since Grace, our adoptive mother brought me home, Elliot has been protective of me and me of him.

But right now I need him to leave. Because the sooner he leaves the sooner I can get back to my obsession of the beautiful Anastasia Rose Steele. As Elliot explains whatever the hell he's here for I take out the background check and study it again.

"Well, the restaurant we usually use is booked solid tonight, so I was wondering if we could use the Mile High Club," he asks.

"You know Elliot," I start, about to bull shit with him before I tell him yes. But then it dawns on me just what the fuck he said.

"Wait, What? Restaurant," I ask and Elliot looks at me in utter annoyance.

I search through the background check of Jacob Reilly and it hits me right in the face. Occupation: Restaurant Manager-The Capital Grille.

"You know what, El, the Mile High is unavailable tonight, but I can get you reservations at The Capital Grille. My treat," I say smiling at him.

I make the call to Capital Grille.

They are, of course, ecstatic that I just rented out the place at twice the asking price. Of course there was one stipulation: Manager Jacob Reilly must be on duty tonight to supervise until the gathering ends. It is after all for Grey Construction. We wouldn't want reputations ruined.

"Done," I say to Elliot hanging up the phone. "Just ask for Jacob Reilly, he'll take care of you. Oh and they are prepared to stay well after closing so take your time and enjoy."

Cool bro, thanks I owe you," he says happily.

"Happy to help you out," I flash a smile as he walks out. And I doubt if he just bought any of that bullshit.

Now to call Ms Steele. I want her tied up in my playroom tonight.


	13. Bad Luck

Addicted To Love

Chapter 13

Bad Luck

Christian's POV

I take out my blackberry and phone Ms. Steele.

"Hello," she answers.

"Ms. Steele, How are you to address me," I ask sternly. I need to establish our roles quickly.

"I'm sorry, Hello Sir," she says.

"Better. I was wondering if you were free Thursday night. I know that you're not available tonight, but I would like to start your training as soon as possible," I ask her.

Tonight, Ms Steele, bite the line I'm throwing. This all for you.

"Ms. Steele," I ask again. Damn she's hesitating.

"Sir, umm, J.R. actually had to work tonight, so if you're free. I would like to begin my training this afternoon," she asks. That's my girl.

"Very well, Ms. Steele, Taylor will be waiting for you outside SIP," I tell her.

"Mr. Grey? How do you know I work at SIP," She asks.

Shit!

Play it cool now, Grey. Give her just enough honesty to make it believable.

"I ran a background check, Ms Steele. I own and operate a very successful company. I must be careful about who I allow to get close to me, you can understand that, right?" That's right, just a simple, standard check. Nothing you really need to concern yourself with.

"Of course Sir," She says.

"This afternoon then, Ms. Steele," I confirm.

"Actually um, I would prefer to drive. I'd like to go home and change first," She says

I tell her not to bother going home. No need wasting time on clothes that I'm going to rip off of her the minute she's in my playroom.

"Yes, Sir," she says.

Obedient already, I like that. I like that a lot.

…

I'm pacing around the great room anxiously waiting Ms. Steele to arrive. I hope that damn car she drives hasn't broken down.

Damn if she was completely mine, she would be driving a brand new Audi A3 by now.

The elevator pings her arrival. I rush over to the couch, take a seat and start reading over this morning's paper while Taylor escorts her in. Taylor nods his goodbye and leaves her standing there unannounced.

That's right, Taylor knows the drill.

She stands there fidgeting, looking totally lost and doe eyed. I'm tempted to come to her rescue.

Come on Ms. Steele figure it out.

After a minute, she lowers her gaze to the floor and waits for my instruction.

Mmmm, sweet submission.

I don't keep her waiting long.

"You may look at me Ms. Steele," I say giving her permission and she quickly glances up. I smile, letting her know that she has pleased me.

But then I nearly jizz my pants as she bites down on that plump bottom lip. Fuck me if I don't kiss her.

I plunge my tongue deep within her mouth tasting her.

Fuck she taste so good. I wonder if her tight little pussy tastes this good.

I abandon that thought, it is making me far too hard, much too quickly.

"Have you eaten today, Anastasia," I ask as I lead her to the breakfast bar.

I'm sure I can get Gail to fix us a little something. As eager as I am to have her in the playroom, I don't want her hungry.

To my relief she nods yes.

"Good…..Come," I say holding out my hand to her. I guide her upstairs and down the hall to my playroom. I stop outside of the door to prepare her before we go in.

"Anastasia, this is my playroom. This is where most of our training will take place. If you are uncomfortable with anything you see here, you only have to say so, and it will not be used," She nods her head. I unlock and open the door. I walk inside to turn on the light, and give her permission to enter.

I step aside and study her as she takes in the room. I want to be sure that nothing in here makes her uncomfortable. I wouldn't want to scare her away before we even began. I follow her gaze as her head swings from one side of the room to the other. Her eyes fall on the large four post bed that stands in the middle of the room.

Very soon, Ms Steele I will take you on that bed.

I notice her breathing increases as she see the various sizes of belts and whips hanging on the wall. I explain what floggers, riding crops and canes are used for. She runs her delicate fingers along the rubber strips of one of my favorite floggers. I decide to use that on her tonight.

I explain how floggers, along with most toys can be used for reward or punishment. Oh Ms. Steele I am going to have so much fun thinking up ways to punish you.

Mmmm so many things I want to explore with you.

"Anastasia," I call for her attention and she turns to quickly face me.

"When you enter this room you will strip down to your panties and kneel here." I say pointing to the submissive's spot by the door.

"Take off your clothes and kneel now," I demand and she complies immediately.

She strips for me, all the way down to those sexy red lacey panties. She walks over, giving me a nice view of that sweet little ass of hers, and kneels. I take time to arrange her body until she is in the proper kneeling position.

"Stay completely still in this position until I give you permission to move," I demand of her.

I grab her clothes and head downstairs. I tell Gail to quickly launder them. I run to my bedroom where I quickly change into a pair of ripped jeans.

My anxiety is high as I reenter the room and find her kneeling, head down and perfectly still.

I move about the room slowly, gaining control of myself once again, while letting my beautiful sub stew in anticipation. I carefully choose the toys that I plan on using tonight. I pick a few that I am sure will cause pain, but also bring pleasure quickly.

Ready to begin I call for her to come to me.

"Look at me," I demand. She does so quickly. I try to remain unfazed when I see her eyes roam up and down my body.

My naughty girl is checking me out. 

I see her eyes as they land on my scars and my body involuntary stiffens I am relieved when she quickly looks away.

I lead her over to the Saint Andrew's cross and buckle her in. I can tell by her reaction that she remembers Leila was strapped to one the night we met. I push all thoughts of her out of my mind as I buckle Ms. Steele facing forward and spread eagle on the cross.

"Do you trust me Anastasia," I ask of her and she hesitates. She pulls at her wrists and ankles and suddenly begins to panic. The lust I saw in her eyes is now quickly being replaced with fear.

Oh no baby, please don't be afraid of me. I'd never hurt you beyond what you want me to.

Baby? 

Shit, get control of yourself Grey! She needs to be able to trust you or this won't work. I drop the Dom persona and speak to her gently.

"Anastasia in this room, you are the one in control. Nothing will happen here that you don't want to happen. If at any time you wish for me to slow down or stop you will use the safe word yellow or red, do you understand," I ask her softly.

"Yes Sir," She answers.

"What are your safe words Anastasia," I ask, needing to be sure.

"Yellow to slow down and red to stop, Sir," She answers.

"Good, are you ready to begin," I ask. I can see that she is still afraid, so I wait for her okay. She needs to understand that she is the one with the power here.

"Yes, Sir," she says strongly, seeming to pull herself together and getting her fear under control.

There's my brave girl. You can do this, baby. We'll start slow.

I lean forward to suckle her neck. She responds by leaning her head over to give me better access.

"Do you trust me, Anastasia," I asks again.

"Yes Sir," she says with no hesitation.

"Good girl," I say to her.

Normally I would blindfold her, but I don't want to frighten her again, so I instruct her to close he eyes. It will have the same effect, but with less fear.

"Yes Sir," she says and closes those beautiful blue eyes.

I continue my assault on her neck as I begin to nip and suck my way to her soft cheek. I kiss her hard forcing my tongue inside her mouth and it dances frantically with hers.

My fingers pinch the cherry pink nipple of her left breast. I instantly grow hard when she moans in pleasure then gasp in painful surprise as I snap on a silver nipple clamp. I feel he whole body tremble as she moans loudly.

Mmmm, baby I knew you'd like that. I tug on the chain that's attached to the clamp..

"OH MY GOD," she cries out and throws her head back as she moans.

Now my naughty girl has gone and opened her eyes forcing me to stop before I'm done. I drop the nipple clamp letting it dangle on its chain.

"Anastasia, your eyes are open," I say trying to sound displeased. "Are you trying to displease me?"

I am actually far from displeased.

"No Sir," she answer quickly.

"Close your eyes. Open them again and I will punish you, understand," I tell her.

"Yes, Sir," she answers closing her eyes quickly, allowing me to clamp her other nipple as she moans once again in pleasure.

You are so fucking responsive.

He body is now on full alert as the pain from her nipples begins to arouse her. I get down on my knees in front of her and rip off her sexy panties.

Don't worry, I'll replace these for you baby.

FUCK ME! She is soaking wet and that clit is rock hard, just begging for my attention. I grab the third clamp that was left dangling on the chain and clamp it quickly to her clit. As I lean in to get a look at that clit now swelling up bright pink in front my eyes, she suddenly freezes. I look up alarmed thinking that maybe the clit clamp is too much. I soon realize what she might be thinking feeling me so close to her pussy, so I back away and quickly reassure her.

"Relax Anastasia, you must trust me. I won't violate our agreement," I assure her.

Not until you beg me for it, baby. But I do want a little taste.

I take the index finger of my right hand and run it up the folds of her dripping wet pussy.

Fuck I love the sound of her moan.

"You're already so wet Ms. Steele and we've just begun," I tell her as I suck her sweet juices off my finger.

"Mmmmmmm, Here taste how good you are," I tell her placing my finger into my mouth.

Fuck baby, I can't wait to have my dick in that mouth of yours, Shit.

"Keep your eyes closed," I warn her as I step away.

I stand there looking at my beautiful, sexy, sub tied up and open to me, exactly where I want her. I want to reach out and touch her. I crave her. I want to feel every inch of her.

Getting control of my wayward thoughts, I head to the chest of drawers to retrieve the white mini magic wand.

I make my way back to Ms. Steele when once again she begins to panic. Her breathing becomes erratic as she begins to pull on her restraints.

I watch her once again, mesmerized by the fact that as much as she is panicking and as much as I know she wants to, she doesn't open her eyes. In the mist of her panic, my beautiful girl obeys my command.

I move fast, desperate to calm her once again.

I place the palm of my hand gently on the side of her waist. I grab hold and steady her as she jumps a little from my sudden contact. I move in close to cover her body with mine. She becomes calm by my closeness once again.

And damn if she isn't biting that lip.

I tug at her chin releasing her lower lip and kiss her gently this time so not to arouse her. I lean in to whisper in her ear.

"You are such a good girl, Anastasia. You've just earned your reward," I tell her.

Her body suddenly stills and I hear her catch her breath.

"Breathe Anastasia," I say softly.

You're going to like this, I promise baby.

"Do you know why you're being rewarded," I ask to make sure she knows just how much her trust in me means.

"Because, I trusted you enough not to open my eyes, Sir," she answer.

"Mhm, you were a very good girl and good girls get rewarded. What are your safe words Anastasia," Tell them to me quick, baby. I'm so ready to pleasure you.

"Yellow and red, Sir" She answers quickly

Mmmm, that's my good girl," I say as I quickly take off my jeans.

I unbuckle her hands and feet and lift her in my arms. As I cradle her, I realize that my girl still has her eyes closed tight. I go rock hard at the sight of her. My bare dick is now pressed painfully close to her bare ass.

She lets out a little yelp as I send her flying to the bed and bound her spread eagle again.

The room becomes eerie quiet and I smile at the sight of her tightly closing her eyes.

I wait one minuter to build her anticipation.

Her body jerks off the bed in surprise as I hit her with the rubber flogger she was so curious about earlier.

Mmmmm I can see she likes it as she begins to squirm.

I grab the chain that has been dangling from her breast and clit. I pull it up hard. Her eyes fly open and she yells out as she looks at her clit.

Oh yeah baby, I control all of your pleasure. 

I drop the flogger and quickly untie her hands I place the wand in her hand as I give her permission to play with herself.

"Make yourself cum," I demand. My voice is low and shaky with my need for her.

Why the fuck did I agree not to fuck her? FUCK!

The sight of her masturbating, that vibrator pressed against that hard pink dripping wet clit.

Yess baby just like that

I start pulling on the chain with my left hand making her clit and nipples strain upward. I am jacking off with my right hand as I watch her pleasure herself. I need to see her cum hard, so I move the chain up and down to stimulate her breast and clit. She begins to shake.

There it is baby, give it me! Give it all to me baby!

"OH MY GOD. OHMYGODOHMYGOD OH MY GODDDDD" She screams out as her body shakes uncontrollably. Her orgasm hits her so hard she squirts across the room.

Shit baby! Shit! I need to taste that pussy! I need to fuck you, baby!

She has me so worked up. I pull on the chain to prolong her orgasm. Not wanting her to finish without me. I quickly work myself up until I shoot off seconds behind me.

I can't fucking believe, the sight of her has me cuming so hard, I'm calling out her fucking name. 

The thought of her mouth wrapped around me makes me cum even harder. I settle for rubbing my cum all over those perfect tits. I milk every drop of cum and tap my dick on one of her ripe nipples.

I get hard all over again as I look down to see her still shaking from her orgasm.

"Welcome to my world, Anastasia," I breathe out.

This is what it's all about baby

She smiles up at me and just like that she falls asleep.

Stamina, Ms Steele!

….

I am tempted to let her sleep, but I think better of it.

We wouldn't want that to become a habit, now would we?

I reach down and remove the clamps from her tits and clit. She jumps awake.

"Are the clamps too much for you, Ms. Steele," I ask. Hoping she doesn't want them as a hard limit. They are very crude.

"Mmmm, No sir. I like it," She says in her shy little girl's voice that makes me smirk at her. She's so damn adorable.

Adorable? Fuck! This girl is going to be the end of me.

I unshackle her legs and help her to stand, but her legs are like jell-o, so I wrap her in a robe and carry her down the hall to her room.

"Is this your room," she ask looking around

No baby, it's your room.

"No, it's the sub's room," I answer

I sit her on the bed and go into the bathroom to bring her a hot towel so I can clean her up. I bend down and begin to clean her breast. She giggles and damn if that's not the most amazing sound I've ever heard.

"You're ticking me," She says laughing as she swats my hand away

"I think I can make it to the bathroom now." she says. I stand to allow her to pass.

"Do you mind if I take a shower?" she asks

"I don't mind at all." I answer, I think about joining her, but I know I'd never let her leave tonight if I did. "You should find everything you need in there. I'll bring your clothes."

I quickly leave the room and go in search of Ms Jones to retrieve her clothes. I go to the cabinet near the playroom and manage to find a similar brand of panties to replace the ones I ripped.

I head back to the room and lay everything out on the bed for her. While she finishes her shower I head back to the playroom to clean and put away the toys.

Cleaning up is usually the job of the submissive, but that's a lesson for another time.

I run into Anastasia in the hall way as I'm leaving the play room. I frown because she looks terribly flushed.

"Anastasia," I say her name in question

"I was just on my way to clean the playroom, Sir," She explains.

I'm pleased at how much she already knows.

"No need, Ms. Steele, that's a lesson for another day," I tell her as I lead her down the stairs to the breakfast bar.

She jumps on the stool to watch me as I pour us two glasses of red wine.

"To our arrangement, may we get everything we desire," I say to her as I raise my glass and drink.

She takes a sip of wine then jumps off the stool quickly.

"Shit," she say as she scrambles to find something. She grabs her bag and pulls out her phone checking it before she heads back over to me.

"J.R. will be home in a few hours, I should get going," She says turning to look at me.

And there goes my erection

"I was going to suggest we eat first, I wouldn't want to send you off on an empty stomach after you've exerted so much….energy," I smirk at her and she rolls her eyes at me.

I stalk after her suddenly furious at her disrespectful behavior.

Sensing my anger, she wisely takes a step back and lowers her eyes to the floor

I wrap her ponytail around my left hand and yank her head up to look at me. Her small hands fly up to her head to cover my hand in an effort to pry my fingers from her hair.

She looks up at me wide eyed and panicked making my anger wane slightly.

"Ms. Steele, eye rolling is rude and it will not be tolerated, is that understood," I tell her

"Yes, Sir," she squeaks out

No longer angry, I take the thumb and index finger of my right hand and twist her overly sensitive left nipple. She looks up at me again as her body trembles.

Mmm still so responsive Ms Steele, I'm going to love playing with you.

"Dinner," I ask walking back to the breakfast bar.

"What? I'm sorry… Sir," she asks

"Shall I feed you before you leave, Mr. Steele," I ask again not liking the idea of her going to bed hungry.

"Oh no, um J.R. always leaves food for me….but thank you Sir," she answer.

Well thank fuck, that useless prick is finally good for something.

"Very well, Ms. Steele, I'll have Taylor escort you to your car."

"Wait sir, um before I go, I would like to discuss something with you. It's umm... kind of a problem that I have. I need to cut Sir," she says.

"Are you asking for permission to hurt yourself again Ms. Steele," I ask her.

"Yes, sir. But only a little. You see J.R. wants to…..I only need to when we're together. I need to do it to cum for him, Sir," She explains.

I walk up to her once again

"Anastasia," I whispers her name in a last ditch effort to hide my anger. "Are you asking me to allow you to cut into your skin so that another man can have your orgasm?"

Is she actually planning on fucking him after she leaves here tonight?

"Yes, for my boyfriend Sir," She so quickly reminds me.

"You had no problem cuming for me. Quite loudly as I recall," I counter.

Her face turn red and I know it's from anger and not embarrassment.

"What we do is different, Sir. Jacob is not fucked up like you and I are. He loves me and he wants to show me in a normal way. I want to give him that… Please let me," she begs

"No," I say

"Sir," she says shocked at my refusal.

"Do you think you're 'normal' boyfriend would be okay with the fact that you have to cut yourself in order to cum for him Anastasia," I ask her, pissed off and slightly hurt that she thinks what we just shared was, in her words, "fucked up."

"Of course not, that's why I'm here wasting time with you, so I can learn to be a better girlfriend for him…. Please just let me," she begs again.

And now I'm fucking done

"No Anastasia. Never ask me again," I yell grabbing her by the arm and dragging her ass to the elevator.

"And if I do it anyway," she says, jerking away from me defiantly.

Oh no, don't tempt me Ms. Steele. This can turn bad really quickly.

"The choice is ultimately yours Ms. Steele," I say trying to gain control over my anger once again.

"But my position remains the same. If you cut, our arrangement will be over. Taylor will escort you down," I say the last part loud enough to ensure that Taylor knows it's time for him to get her the fuck out of her.

He emerges from the security office to escort the defiant Ms. Steele to her car. As the doors begin to close, I realize that she may very well choose not to return and that fact is unsettling for me. I don't want this to end so soon, especially in anger. I call her name in an effort to gauge how she is feeling.

"Anastasia," I call to her.

"Christian," She says in return and I know that I am completely fucked.

I need to let off steam and get my mind around what I plan on doing with my feisty new sub, so I go down to the gym for a quick work out.

Taylor insists on accompanying me even though it's late and the place is totally deserted.

Since the old guy is here, we decide to do a little kickboxing.

This of course makes Taylor's day because the only time he gets to kick my ass without the threat of being fired is now.

After he knocks me flat on my ass for the third time in as many minutes, I decide to take break.

...

Taylor's POV

"Did Ms. Steele make it to her car okay," Mr. Grey asks and I know where this is going.

I don't know how I get dragged into shit like this. I'm his fucking body guard not the damn go between for him and his new side piece. 

"Yes, Mr. Grey I escorted her down personally and placed her in the car myself," I inform him as if he didn't see me get in the elevator.

Why the hell did I agree to come down here in the first place? I should have followed my first mind and sent Reynolds. I could be snuggled up with Gail right now. Well, we all know I couldn't resist a chance to knock him on his ass.

"Did she call anyone," he asks.

"Not that I saw, Mr. Grey," I inform him and I know that I am pissing him off with my refusal to engage in this conversation. He should know better than to think I would get involved in this part of his life.

Not that I disagree with his lifestyle. As long as both parties are fine with it, it is of no concern to me. No body's business really.

But what I don't get is why this guy here, who seems to have it all. Money, Power, respect, a family that loves the shit out of him, would choose to surround himself with all these whacked out chicks.

Take Leila Williams for example, after all the havoc she caused him before he finally ended things with her. She calls him upset one night and off he goes. It's like he has some kind of hero complex or something. You can't save psycho. And now he is at it again with this Anastasia Steele, don't get me wrong, she seems like a nice girl. Not at all like the others he's allowed to come around. But he is already obsessed with her and nothing good will come of it.

Finally after an hour of this, he gets the message and we head back upstairs. I do a quick sweep of the apartment before I head off to Gail.

...

Christian's POV

Fucking Taylor, I get more feedback talking to myself.

I head to the breakfast bar and pour myself some orange juice, when my phone rings. Well Ms. Steele, I guess I'm not the only one who can't sleep tonight.

"Anastasia," I say answering my phone.

"Sir, Your submissive in training seeks forgiveness for her deplorable behavior tonight," she says.

Sure, I'll forgive you right after I torture that sweet body of yours.

"I am thinking of a proper punishment as we speak, Ms Steele," I warn her. I smile as I hear her catch her breath.

"I am at your mercy, Sir," she whispers.

Ohhh it's not going to be as easy as that now, Ms Steele.

"I will show none," I say, meaning it.

"Good night Anastasia," I tell her, she really needs to get some sleep.

"Sir, may I ask a question without fear of being punished," She asks.

"You may speak freely, Ms. Steele," I tell her.

"Well, I know that you require me to not cut. But I don't think you are sympathetic to what not cutting is costing me," she tries to get me to understand.

Never gonna happen, baby. I will never let you hurt that beautiful body of yours, especially to satisfy a man that doesn't give a shit about what you need.

"Ms. Steele, Your desire to not cut for arousal was the whole reason for you starting BDSM. You are the one who wants to pretend that what you're getting from your relationship is enough, all because you are afraid to be who you are. You are not doing him any favors. And lying to yourself this way will ultimately hurt him and most importantly you," I say to her.

"I just can't. I'm not ready to. He'll never understand," she says.

"Then why are you doing it, Anastasia," I ask her.

Baby, you can have so much more if you just let yourself.

"I'll make him understand, I will. He has to. I can't lose him," she says.

Oh for fuck sakes, I'm tired of this shit! 

"Anastasia If you want to cut to fuck your 'normal' boyfriend then cut. If you want me as your Dom then figure out how not to cut. If you want to find another Dom who won't give a shit about you or any of this bullshit as long as he gets to beat the shit out of you then do that. But for fuck sakes make up your damn mind. Pick one and commit yourself to it," I says now, very frustrated with her inability to admit the truth and commit.

"Yes Sir," she says sounding tired. I need to let her sleep.

"Sleep well, Ms Steele," I say.

"But when will we train again," she ask.

Sweet Fuck, she is going to be the death of me. 

"Anastasia, you frustrate me to no end," I say. I hear that beautiful giggle once again and it goes straight to my dick making me rock hard, and in desperate need for release.

I make my way up to the playroom. Maybe planning out her punishment will help me relax enough to sleep tonight.

I open the playroom and walk inside. I stop dead in my tracks at the sight of Leila, in nothing but her panties, kneeling quite perfectly in the submissive position.

"How shall I please you tonight, Master," she asks me.

OH THIS BITCH IS UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!

"Thursday," I tell Anastasia and quickly hang up pissed that she may have head Leila.

Now, how to deal with Ms Williams.


	14. Everybody's Fucking Fired!

Addicted To Love

Chapter 14

Everybody's Fucking Fired!

Christian's POV

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN HER LEILA," I scream at her.

I look around the room like the answer will somehow reveal itself to me.

She says nothing. She kneels there absolutely still and waiting for my command.

Any other time I would have her tied up against the closes wall fucking and beating the shit out of her, but now, seeing her kneeling in the exact same spot my beautiful girl was just in only hours before has me seeing red.

I gather Leila's clothes and throw them at her.

"Get the fuck up and get dressed, now," I demand of her.

"But, I so want to please you, Sir," she says getting up and walking towards me.

"You need it, I can tell," she says, seductively rubbing the palm of her hand over my rock hard erection.

I moan in spite of myself.

Fuck I do need it. I want her. I imagine myself being buried balls deep, drowning in the wet pussy. Fuck just the taste of her. She is so fucking sweet. I want to lick her dry. Touch every inch of her.

Suddenly I am thrust out of my musings by the sight of Leila dropping to her knees in front of me. She starts to unzip my pants. Reflexively, I grab her wrists and push her back. She falls hard and flat on her ass.

"May I pleasure you, Master," she asks, looking up at.

That's about all I can take of her calling me Master. That word coming out of her mouth is like is venom, rancid and poisonous.

My Rational mind knows that she is just goading me, but the other, dominate part of me doesn't give a flying fuck, and wants to hurt her.

This bitch is in my playroom tainting it with her…SON OF A BITCH!

I want her out of here!

"TAYLOR," I bellow.

All hell breaks loose as Ryan, Reynolds, along with Taylor and, regrettably, Gail, comes hauling ass out of their living quarters.

Where the fuck was Ryan and Reynolds when she was walking her ass in here?

I walk over to the wall of canes and choose the one I know will do the most damage to her: The black lexan cane.

In all of our playtime together, the use of this particular cane is the only thing that terrified her. It is long and thin which makes the sting from its bite sharp and extremely painful. It is her only hard limit. Respecting that fact, I had taken it out of the playroom, but brought it back when she forced me to terminate our contract.

Seeing my intent and knowing that I am about to subject her to her worst fear, she springs for the door.

I am now right behind her.

She crosses the doors threshold and runs right into the arms of Taylor, who grabs hold and does his best to restrain her without hurting her.

Ryan and Reynolds are only a step behind him as they all try to grab hold of little Leila as she kicks and fights to be free. Any other time it would be entertaining to see these men, all of which are well over six feet and two hundred pounds, wresting with this tiny girl.

"Take her to my office now and put theses on her," I say throwing Taylor her clothes and some metal handcuffs.

I slam the door to the, closing them all out of the playroom.

Fuck I need to calm down. 

I pace around the room like a caged animal that has just been poked and prodded.

I look around the playroom. I can smell Leila's scent all around me. The fact that she has not only gotten into my home, but in my playroom, where she has been unsupervised for God knows how long, spurs my anger.

I walk next over to the Saint Andrews Cross and glance down. Something catches my eye. I smile as I pick them up. Still laying on the floor where I tossed them was my beauties, red lacy panties. The memory of our time together earlier calms me down enough to regain control.

I walk out of the playroom leaving the door open wide. I make my way to my office, walking pass Ms Jones as she makes coffee.

"Mr. Grey, would you like a cup? I could make you breakfast, if you're hungry," She offers.

I look at her suddenly feeling quite guilty that she had to be subjected to Leila Williams again tonight.

Gail, is like a second, well actually third, mother to me. She takes care of all of the household duties most of the time going above what is actually required of her. She has been with me for five years now and I would be lost without her.

When I learned of the verbal abuse she had to endure at the hands of Leila Williams, I was livid. If Gail had given me any indication that Leila was a problem for her, I would have ended our contact immediately. But being the professional that she is she kept quiet.

Taylor happened to overhear Leila's degrading rant one day and quickly informed me. Since then I have been very weary of her being around my subs.

I usually have them over on the weekends, Gail's off days. But since my latest arrangement is different, I have informed Gail that she may run into Anastasia from time to time. However I have assured her that she needn't worry about her. My sweet girl is the epitome of grace and warmth.

At least until I piss her off of course, then all bets are off.

"No thank you, Gail, it's still very early, why don't you head back to bed and get some rest. Remember I'm going to spend the afternoon at my parents, so I won't need you today," I tell her.

She nods her head and gives me a smile. I watch her as she goes back to her living area and then make my way to my office.

I enter the room to find Taylor sitting in the seat to Leila's left while Ryan and Reynolds take up a standing position on either side of her.

I walk silently over to my wall safe and pull out everything I need to ensure that this will be the last time I have to deal with Ms. Williams.

After an hour of laying it all out for her, from compromising photos to sex tapes of her nights at the BDSM clubs, to finally threaten her family with financial ruin. It finally becomes clear to her that she and I are no more.

I also warn her that if she ever pulls a stunt like she did with my parents again, there will be no place in hell that will keep her safe from me.

Ryan and Reynolds escort her out, making sure that she actually leaves while I have a little chat with my head of security.

"Taylor, what the fuck just happened," I ask him.

"When we arrived back upstairs, I did I quick sweep of the apartment, not including the playroom since the door was secured after you and Ms. Steele left…" he begins his explanation, but I interrupt him

"Yes I know all of that, Taylor. Who was on watch," I ask confused.

"Reynolds was on duty for most of the night, but there was a window of time when Ryan came on that the cameras were left unattended," Taylor says.

"For how long," I ask him.

"About thirty minutes," He says.

"UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE," I yell. "They're fired! Everybody's fucking fired!"

"Yes Mr. Grey, it will be handled by the close of business today," He assures me.

"I want you going over every inch of footage. I want to know how she got in here. When you perform your sweeps I want you to include the locked doors! You recommended those assholes. This clusterfuck falls on you. FIX IT," I tell him.

"I am already on it Sir, I can assure you, I am all over it. It won't happen again," he assures me.

"I'm counting on you to see to it that it doesn't," I tell him. "A whole new team, Taylor, preferably with men who know not to leave a post unattended for thirty fucking minutes because their boss is away."

"One last thing, bring in a cleaning crew. I want the playroom sanitized. I want every trace of Ms. Williams gone," I tell him.

"Understood Mr. Grey," he says.

"And make sure they all sign NDAs. I want background checks on each one before they step foot in here," I tell him knowing that I'm pissing him off by telling him how to do his job.

"Of course Mr. Grey," He says leaving the office.

I sit down at my desk and make a phone call to the last person I want to talk to.

"Christian, darling, how nice it is to hear from you, so early in the morning," Elena says.

"Cut the bullshit, Elena. I want to talk to you about keeping your goddamn subs in line and away from me," I tell her.

I am exhausted, by the time I end my phone call with Elena. I check the time. I have about five hours before I have to be at work. More than enough time to get some sleep.

I head to my room and climb into bed. Preparing for the nightmare that I know is sure to come.

….

I wake with a start as I hear Taylor calling my name. I assure him that I'm awake and all is well before he leaves me to start my morning.

DAMIT, can I at least have five hours. FIVE FUCKING HOURS of peaceful sleep!

My work day drags on. One meeting blending into the next with little fanfare.

Until Ros comes strolling into my office unannounced like she owns the place. I swear with the mood I'm in, if it been anyone else I wouldn't be responsible for my actions. But I can't intimidate Ros Bailey. She sees right through my bullshit, always has.

"What do you want Ros," I ask her a little annoyed as she comes in and flops her ass in a chair. Her red hair bouncing up around her.

"Did you get the latest on that publishing company you had me look into? I sent it a while ago and you haven't responded," She says.

"No I haven't had time to read that particular report. What does it say, more importantly what do you think," I ask genuinely interested.

"Well your right, it's in trouble. If it continues going the way it is, it will be swallowed up in five years time. Are we going for it? If so why? Books and shit was never on your raider before," She says.

"And it isn't now, I'm just checking into it. Thanks for helping me out with that," I say hoping she'll leave now.

"Well I hope she's worth it, whoever she is," She says.

Fucking Ros! I think she is the only person in this damn city, besides my family, who never believed the rumors about me being gay.

"Have a good day Ros," I tell her.

"Before I go, I actually came to give you this," She says handing me a birthday present.

"It's from me and Gwen. Tell your dad we're sorry we can't make it tonight, but the babies are due anytime now. I'm actually on my home to relieve Gwen," she says.

"Puppies, Ros," I correct her. "They are fucking puppies."

"Screw you, Grey," she says. "Tell your mom she still can have first pick if she changes her mind," she says she walks out of the office.

….

Taylor enters to give me an update on home security. Apparently the clever Ms. Williams has been spending a bit of time with the head of Escala's maintenance. I bet that Poor bastard didn't know what hit him.

She used him to gain entry into the apartment. Taylor reports that he's been fired and measures have been taken to ensure nothing like this happens again. None the less, all of our security and elevator codes have been changed.

New staff is being trained as we speak and the cleaning crew has finished the playroom which is awaiting my approval.

I decide to go against Taylor's orders and drive myself to Bellevue for my father's 54th birthday party.

….

I arrive at my childhood home and am greeted by my mother.

My angel, Dr. Grace Trevelyan Grey.

She comes gliding towards me with bright eyes and full smile as if Elliot and I didn't see her last week to help plan this whole thing.

"Oh Christian, you're here. I'm so glad you made it," she says kissing me on my cheek.

"Are you all right, dear," she asks.

"Of course mother and you know I wouldn't miss this for the world," I tell her, giving her my best smile. I wish so much to be able to hold her, to allow her to hold me, but we will have to settle on me kissing her cheek.

"Come on outside, Elliot is already here, somewhere," She says, leading me out into the yard.

The party is in full swing. Complete with band and mile long buffet tables. Leave it to my mother. I swear this woman loves to throw a party. And with the exception of the Coping Together Gala, my dad's birthday is the biggest event of the year for us.

I make my way around greeting everyone and making polite conversation as I snack on the hors d'oeurves that are being served around. I hate Mia can't be here. This is the first year she's missing Dad's birthday. I'll be sure to tell her all about it when we Skype later tonight.

I place Gwen and Ros's present on the table with the other gifts and head to the bar area. As I suspected, my dad and Elliot are already at the bar well on their way to inebriation.

"Happy birthday, old man," I say to him slapping him hard on his back.

"Don't count the old guy out yet, bro," Elliot says to me laughing and giving me a look to let me know we'll have to talk about it later.

"Christian, I'm glad you could make it, son," my dad says as he hands me a drink.

"No place I'd rather be dad," I tell him truthfully.

Why are they so surprised I'm here? It's my dad's birthday for Christ's sakes. Am I that much of an ass that they are truly surprised I'm here?

"Well we weren't sure, bro. With Leila running amuck in your apartment once again. Look I know she's hot and I'm in no position to lecture you about fuckin and duckin, but come on man. After what happened with mom I thought you'd be done with her," Elliot says.

What the fuck! How does he fucking know? Fucking Elliot!

"How the fuck did you find out," I ask him looking from him to dad.

"Well Elena called your mother upset this morning," My dad says "It seems you gave her quite a tongue lashing from what she told her. She says it's not fair for you to blame her when all she did was introduce you to her friend."

Friend? My ass! Fucking Elena!

"Look bro…. I mean it. You need to wash your hands of her," Elliot says.

"I want nothing to do with her El. She just showed up. Got passed my security and everything," I tell him and my dad

I hate having to lie to them, but it's easier for them to believe that Leila and I dated, than to tell them what our relationship really was.

"Are you saying she broke in," My dad says and inwardly I groan because I know the lawyer wheels are going around in his head.

"You need to press charges. I know a judge…" he says

"No Dad," I interrupt him "I already took care of it."

"Are you sure, because I don't want your mother worrying about this. It took weeks for her to be able to walk into Escala and not think of Leila slicing her wrists open declaring her love for you. I mean what if your mother and I hadn't stayed over that night, that poor girl would be dead right now. You would have come back from your trip and found her dead on your kitchen floor," My dad says.

"I know," I say to him. "She got help for that. She's fine now.

I lie again, that fucking bitch knew exactly how to play on sympathy. She found out my mother was a doctor. She knew damn well she wouldn't let her bleed to death. Maybe she is psycho if she thought that shit would make me fall in love with her. Instead I dropped her that night and never looked back.

"Dude, 'she's fine now' Seriously bro," Elliot chimes in.

"Fuck off," I yell at him.

"Enough, both of you," my dad says. "I don't want your mother hearing this. As far as she's concerned it's all been taken care of, are we clear?"

"Yes, dad," Elliot and I say in unison.

"Take care of this son. It sounds like to me this girl still may need help," my dad says to me

"I'll look into it," I reassure him.

"Good, now let's get back to my party," he says slapping Elliot and me on our backs as he heads back to our mom.

Before the party ends Elliot and I call Mom and Dad up on the stage. We inform them that he, Mia and I all pitched in to buy the perfect birthday present and it's pulling up in the front drive.

The whole crowd gathers around the front yard in amused surprise as the VanTare Platinum Rv in all its tricked out glory comes roaring up the drive, fully loaded, and customized.

My dad tries in vain to hide his tears, but my mom is crying full blown and unashamed at our heartfelt gesture.

Ever since we were young, our parents talked about getting an RV and taking off across country. It was a fantasy we had to endure listening to many a nights at the dinner table, usually when mom or dad had a particularly bad day at work. But with the dedication to not only their jobs, but to us kids, they never thought it was the right time. So we figured, why not make it happen for them now.

We say our goodbyes and Elliot and I promise to hang out together soon.

Finally back at Escala, I go to bed knowing that tomorrow night my beautiful sweet girl will be once again in my playroom.


	15. Fuck The Punishment

Addicted To Love

Chapter 15

Fuck The Punishment

Christian's POV

I arrive early to GEH for an emergency meeting. Ros got word that Ridgewood Dynamics, a development and analysis company she's had her eye on is about to execute a poison pill. We are now meeting with the board of directors to offer up GEH as an alternative in hopes to avoid a hostile takeover. Since this acquisition is Ros's baby, I sit back and let her work. Now, watching her, I am once again amazed at how she quickly takes command of a room.

Since she has everything well under control, I take time to shot off a quick email to Anastasia.

"Ms. Steele, l look forward to continuing our training this afternoon," I say simply.

"I look forward to it as well," She responds. "As long as I'm not keeping you from other obligations."

Keeping me from other obligations? I could be seconds away from closing a trillion dollar deal and I'd walk away for you, baby!

"Nothing else is more important and I've cleared my schedule for this afternoon. I'm all yours, Ms. Steele," I assure her.

"Well, no pressure there," she says.

Damn I've said too much. Calm the fuck down, Grey.

"None," I simply answer.

"Don't you have a company to run Sir," She asks me.

"I'm in a meeting as we speak, Ms Steele," I tell her.

Actually its Ros's meeting, but I'm working in spirit.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, Sir," she says.

"No bother at all Anastasia, like I said, nothing is more important. I'll see you after work. Bring your appetite, I want to feed you," I tell her.

I want to share a meal with her. I need to know she's eating right.

"Yes Sir, have a good day at work," She says.

"Check your blackberry, I just sent you the new code to the elevator. My day is getting better as we speak, Ms. Steele. Laters," I say signing off.

That reminds me, I need to have a meeting this afternoon with Taylor to go over the new security measures.

….

Gail's POV

Mr. Grey phoned this morning to inform me that Ms. Steele will be joining him for dinner tonight. So I decided to make one of my old favorites. Carrot Glazed Chicken, with herb roasted potatoes, and fresh spinach salad.

Mr. Grey arrives home on time from work, which is rare for him. I normally don't expect to see him or Jason until well after nine. I usually eat alone and store plates for them in the refrigerator. I am happy that I get to have dinner with Jason tonight, so if Ms. Steele being around means that I get to see my Jason more often, than I'm all for it.

"Everything smells so good, Gail," Mr. Grey says as he walks in the kitchen with Jason a step behind him.

"Thank you, Mr. Grey," I respond to him and I give Jason a shy smile. I swear I've been with this man for over a year now and still just the sight of him gives me butterflies.

Mr. Grey is aware of our relationship. We were honest with him as soon as we knew it was becoming serious. He makes no objections, just as long as it doesn't interfere with our work.

Jason told me that Mr. Grey once gave him "the talk." I just about died from laughter when Jason told me how Mr. Grey looked him square in the eyes and said that if he ever did anything to hurt me, he would have no choice but to kick his ass.

Jason however knew Mr. Grey was completely serious so, whenever we are all together, Jason is sure to be on his Ps and Qs out of respect. He says he has to respect a man for defending the honor of a woman he loves like a mother.

Although Mr. Grey and I keep our relationship professional, I feel very protective of him as well. I have no children of my own, but if I had a son I couldn't do any better than Mr. Grey. He is loyal, compassionate, generous, and caring. When he loves, he loves with all of his heart, although, he would never admit this, especially to himself.

It breaks my heart to see him throw that love away for women who want nothing but what they can get financially. Especially that Elena Lincoln, that woman has had her claws in Mr. Grey for so long. I don't understand how, as smart as he is, he can't see that one for what she really is. I thought she was the worst, until, I met Leila Williams.

Dealing with that….woman was pure torture for me, with her constant belittlement. I could have easily told Mr. Grey, but I didn't feel it was my place. After all, she was right I am just a housekeeper.

One day Jason happened to overhear her and he was livid. I swear I'd never seen him so angry. If she wasn't a woman, I would have feared for her safety. The next day she was gone and Mr. Grey informed me that I would never have to deal with anything like that again. I thought that meant maybe he had given up on those types of woman.

But months later, here he is again. I must admit I've never seen him this excited before though. It's funny to see him now, peeking in the oven and checking in the pans. I'm tempted to shoo him away.

"Gail," he says. "Jason and I will be in my office, when Anastasia arrives let her know I'll be with her shortly."

"Certainly, Sir," I say to him as they both walk away.

Great, now I'm left to deal with another one. I've only spoken to her once in greeting, but now I have to entertain her.

Jason tells me not to worry because she seems genuinely caring. He believes she really likes Mr. Grey. I pray he is right about this one. But I'm not so easy to convince.

I look up to see her standing in the doorway. She still looks very similar to the others: Same small size, same pale skin and dark hair, but there is something in her eyes and the way she's smiling at me forces me to genuinely smile back.

"Ms. Steele, how lovely to see you again. Mr. Grey will be out shortly, he and Jason are in a meeting," I explain.

"Jason," she asks looking confused and now I am embarrassed by my slip.

"Taylor," I correct myself.

"Oh that's fine," she says.

"Please have a seat, Mrs. Steele. Would you care for something to drink? Some wine maybe," I offer.

"Wine would be great actually thank you. Please call Ana, Ms. Jones," she asks me as she takes the wine.

This takes me by surprised, none of the others wanted to be on first name bases with what they considered to be just the help.

"Only if you call me Gail," I say smiling at her once again.

"Okay, then Gail you've got a deal," She says. "What are you cooking, it smells delicious?"

I tell her it is Carrot Glazed Chicken and offer her a taste. She truly likes it! She tells me that it reminds her of a dish her mother makes for her when she sees her in Georgia.

A southern girl! How lovely. I was born in the south myself.

Somehow the ice is broken because we are off chatting away about recipes. She tells me how she misses her mother's cooking and I give her some ideas on how to create some tasty southern dishes.

Then she goes and asks something that makes me thaw a little more towards her. She wants to know Mr. Grey's favorite meal. She is interested in him. HIM. Her likeability just went up a few points.

I tell her that his favorite is macaroni and cheese. He absolutely loves the stuff, so much so that I have to keep some in the fridge all the time.

"No way," she says in shock.

"It is his favorite," I confirm.

I know it's hard to imagine, when you look around at this place and all its eccentricities, that he would like something as simple as that.

I don't even know how long she and I have been enjoying each other's company when I glace up and see Mr. Grey in the door way watching us. Anastasia notices him as well and quickly lowers her gaze. I take the hint and start to busy myself around the kitchen.

Christian's POV

I end my meeting with Taylor after he assures me that the new security team is up to par. I go in search of Anastasia, realizing that I have left Gail to entertain her longer than I anticipated. I hope it isn't too much of an imposition for her.

My concerns are quickly put to rest when I see the two of them chatting away like old friends. I stand there in the door way and watch in awe.

I can tell when Gail is just being professional and polite. You would have to know her well to know when she didn't care for someone. Looking at her talk to Anastasia, It is clear that this is more than just a polite conversation and that she is actually enjoying her company.

I am soon found out however, when they both turn to see me in the doorway. My obedient girl lowers her eyes, while Gail suddenly becomes extremely busy doing nothing around the kitchen.

"Good afternoon, Anastasia," I greet.

"Good afternoon, Sir." She answers. And my dick jumps to answer her.

Down boy, she was talking to me.

"You may look at me," I tell her and she quickly looks up.

I can stand and look into those eyes for the rest of my life if she'd let me.

"Is dinner almost ready, Gail," I ask in an effort to gain control of my thoughts.

"Yes Sir, I'm ready to serve. Would you like to eat here or in the dining room," she asks.

"The dining room, please," I tell her as I take Anastasia's hand.

Gail serves us and I give her the rest of the night off to enjoy with Jason.

I look over at Anastasia and she is staring down at her plate.

I know I gave her permission to look at me. Why is she avoiding me?

"Look at me Anastasia," I tell her softly.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I guess I'm a little nervous,"she admits.

"Why," I ask her.

"I don't know, being here, having dinner with you, it just seems so…." She struggles for a word.

"Intimate," I whisper.

"Yes, Sir," she says.

I've seen her naked. I've seen her have an orgasm that would put anyone else to shame, but sharing a meal with me gets her nervous. 

"Relax, Ms. Steele, its only so that we can talk a moment. We just need to clarify a few things. To make sure we are on the same page," I tell her.

But if I was at all honest with myself, I would admit I am a bit jealous. I want to be the man in her life that makes sure she eats.

"Okay, I get that. Yes that's good. Is there something specific we need to discuss," She asks and I smile as I see her begin to not only eat, but enjoy the meal.

"Well Ms Steele, the last time you were here, we were at an impasse. You were unsure if you were able to agree to the terms of our arrangement where cutting yourself was concerned. I'm curious to know where we stand now. Have you decided to continue with my training? Or have you decided to seek guidance elsewhere?"

I ask this question knowing full well I have no intention of letting her go. If cutting is a deal breaker, I will have no choice but to let her do it.

"Mr. Grey, I am here because I am ready to fully commit myself to our arrangement as long as you will still have me as your sub, Sir."

YES! Fully commit yourself to ME, baby and I'll give you any damn arrangement you want.

"Good," I tell her. "Now let's finish our meal. The sooner you eat, the sooner I will have you tied up and begging for release in my playroom."

"Are you going to punish me, Sir," she asks.

Oh, you are so going to be punished.

"I thought that was made clear, Ms. Steele. Eat," I tell her.

We finish our meal and she gets up to clear away the plates.

No, baby, I'm much too eager to wait for you to do that.

"Leave it," I say as I hand her the new key to the playroom. "I want you kneeling in position Ms. Steele."

She takes the key and races off to the playroom. She suddenly stops and calls for me.

"Sir," She says

"Ms. Steele," I say wondering what the matter is.

"Why did you change the elevator codes? Did…Did you not want me back?"

Fuck! Baby no, never. I would never want you to stay away from me.

"Anastasia," I say as I walk over to her. Wanting to ease the hurt I see in her face, I place my hand gently on her cheek.

The look on her face as she briefly closes her eyes and lean into my hand, takes my breath away. Remembering myself, I quickly move my hand away.

"Ms. Steele," I begin again "I changed the codes because there was a breech in security. Someone who I long since severed ties with managed to gain entry."

"The woman I heard over the phone," She asks.

Fucking Leila! Is that bitch ever going to stop causing me problems!

"Yes," I answer. "I'm sorry you had to hear that. But it's been handled. And just to be clear, asking you to stay away has never entered my mind. You are welcomed here anytime, Anastasia."

I smile as a see a bright red blush creep across her checks.

"I'm sorry … I thought that you were… that she..." She stops and I know exactly what she thought.

I guess I'm not the only one who's jealous. 

"As I've said Ms. Steele, I'm all yours. Now... Playroom."

NOW!

"Yes Sir," she says running off."

…..

Once I have changed into my ripped jeans, I head to the playroom.

I enter to find my good girl in perfect position waiting for me.

"You may come to me, Ms Steele," I command her.

I lead her to the middle of the playroom and bind her wrist. I take her arms and lift them straight above her head. I attach her to one of the carbine hooks that are in the ceiling. I adjust her until she is standing on her tiptoes.

I take a moment to look at her tied up and stretched out before me.

Absolutely Beautiful

"What are your safe words, Ms Steele?" I ask not wanting her to panic again.

"Yellow and red sir," she answers.

I walk behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. I pull her close to me and lift her sexy little ass so that it is tucked into my pelvis.

I brush it up against my rock hard erection. I can't help but moan at the contact.

I lean forward and press my chest against her back as I kiss her neck. I reach out and tweak her nipples as they bounce up and down with her heavy breathing. They become hard in my hands.

"Do you trust me, Anastasia," I whisper softly in her ear as she moans in satisfaction.

"Yes, Sir," She answers without any hint of fear in her voice.

Mmmm that's my good girl.

"Ohhh Ms. Steele, I want so much for you to be my good girl tonight. I want so much to pleasure you," I tell her.

I suckle her ear lobe and move back to her neck tasting her as I go along

"Mmm, but you've been a naughty girl, and you must be taught a lesson," I tell her "You will not be allowed to cum tonight Ms Steele. Do not ask me to, understand?"

Baby, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you. 

"Yes Sir," she says reluctantly.

"I'm going to blind fold you tonight Ms. Steele," I tell her.

Now that I have gained some trust, she should be fine with the blindfold.

"Yes Sir," she whisper as the blindfold covers her eyes.

I bury my nose in her hair and inhale deeply before kissing her head.

Mmm you always smell so good, Anastasia. 

"Tell me why you're being punished, Ms Steele," I demand coming around to stand in front of her.

"Because, I was disrespectful and I defied you Sir," She answers

Oh yes. Yes you most certainly did. You were a very bad girl.

"Let's begin, then," I tell her now that I'm sure she knows why I need to punish her.

I take a deep breath before I begin because I know she's really not going to like what I do to her.

I grab the tickle feather and place it on her left shoulder. I move it slowly across her body starting with her breast, circling around and tickling each nipple. I move to her arms spending extra time tickling her armpits. All the while she is squirming away from the light touch of the feather.

I slowly and meticulously caress every inch of her soft sweet skin with the feather. Randomly and without warning, I lightly touch her arms, legs, chest and stomach.

I stop when I see goose bumps suddenly appear and I know her body is alive from the unwanted sensation.

I go over to the wall and grab a fur flogger. I begin to strike her with it. She instinctively jumps at the surprise of being hit. I hit her again and again and each time her body tightens with hope of pain and then relaxes when none comes. Each time I hit her, I purposely find a different spot on her body as to not give her time to anticipate the blow.

He body is now in a tailspin as it begins to fight against the sensation.

Her breathing becomes rapid as she pulls against her restraints.

Seeing that she's had enough I drop the flogger on the floor and her body goes completely still. I can tell she is listening trying to figure out what I have planned for her next.

I stand completely still letting her anticipation build.

I wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me. I grab hold of her chin with my fingers and gently kiss her lips. I tenderly kiss her neck making my way down to her breast. I take my time gently and patiently sucking each one getting it wet then blowing cool air to make it pebble hard. I moan when her body shivers because I know it's in protest. My girl would rather I bite them.

I know how much she is hating my gentleness right now and even though I'm doing it as punishment, I have to admit I'm enjoying it.

I bend down and tuck my thumbs in her panties. I drag them slowly down her legs caressing them with my fingers as I go.

She wiggles that tight little ass wanting me to spank her. As tempted as I am, I resist the urge and squeeze it hard instead.

But the sight of that pink clit peeking out at me makes me loose all control.

Suddenly I'm all hands, mouth, and tongue as I gently kiss her belly and inner thigh. She begins to squirm away so I grab her ass with my hand locking her in place.

Fuck the punishment, I just want to pleasure you, baby. I want that pussy dripping wet. I want you squirting all over my face.

I cup her pussy with my hand. I want so much to slip a finger inside of her. To my surprise she starts grinding herself against my hand.

Mmmm that's right, you want it too don't you, baby?

I press my hand up harder putting more pressure on her clit. She throws her head back and moans in absolute pleasure as her clit becomes extremely hard. She is so close to cuming. Suddenly, she stops and stills her movements.

She gasps as the realization dawns that she nearly let me masturbate her to orgasm.

I reluctantly un-cup my hand and spread her juices over her inner thigh. I grab her leg and drape it over my shoulder while I lick the juices off of. I nip and lick her thigh clean imaging it was her clit in my mouth.

"Mmm, you taste so good. I can't wait to taste you properly. I want to lick that sweet pussy just like this," I whisper as my tongue moves in a tight circle on her thigh.

"It's going to feel so good. I won't stop until you cum all over me, baby," I tell her.

FUCK ME! Did I just call her baby out loud! Fuck I hope she didn't hear it.

Suddenly that no longer matters, because out of that sweet, sexy mouth come the words I have been dreaming about since I first laid eyes on my beautiful girl.

"Oh yes, Sir, please, please do it now. I need to cum, please, "She begs.

I know she is just desperate for release so I stop.

"No! Please don't stop," She begs.

And Fuck me, if she doesn't start to dip down doing everything she can to get that pussy into my mouth.

She nearly succeeds so I quickly stand up. I grab the back of her head and kiss her gently on her mouth. I rest my forehead on hers in an effort to control my breathing and calm her down.

I would give anything to give you what you think you want tonight, baby. But, you're not thinking clearly and I know you'd end up regretting it. That would kill me much more than knowing how much I'm disappointing you right now.

I'm alarmed by the sound of her crying. I lift the mask off of her face and look at her as the tears stream down her face. She looks into my eyes which only makes her cry harder.

Oh my god. What have I done? 

"Shit, Anastasia," I say as I quickly unhook her and carry her over to the bed. I grab a sheet as to cover her as I sit her gently down on the bed.

"Anastasia," I call to her after a moment. I bend down in front of her and lift her head so that she'll look at me. I cup her cheeks with both hands as I try to wipe away her tears. She pulls her head out of my hands and begins to cry again.

Shit, baby. What did I do?

"Did I hurt you, Anastasia," I ask afraid of the answer. I'm relieved when she shakes her head no.

I reach out for her again, but she runs.

"Anastasia," I call after her but she continues to run out of the room.

I grab her clothes and follow her to her room. I knock but there is no answer, so I slowly enter. I hear the shower running so I put her clothes on the chair and sit on the bed to wait for her to finish.

"Your clothes," I say nodding my head in their direction when she emerges from the bathroom

"Thank you," she says

"Do you want to be alone, Anastasia," I ask not wanting to crowd her.

"No Sir," She answers and sits next to me on the bed

"Can you tell me what happened," I ask and she shakes her head no, which frustrates me. I need to know what happened.

"Why didn't you safe word," I ask, horrified that I may have hurt her and she didn't let me know. I need to know that she will safe word if a scene becomes too much for her to handle. The thought of causing her a moment of unwanted pain is sickening to me.

"There was no need to Sir, you didn't hurt me. It wasn't….you," she explains.

"Ms. Steele," I say firmly trying to bring back my Dom persona, but I know I have failed miserably when I see her hide a smile.

At least you're smiling again, sweet girl.

"If this arrangement is going to work, we need to be honest with each other," I tell her.

"Honest," she says with a sarcastic laugh. "You want me to be honest," she asks and I nod yes. Of course I want her to be honest.

"Okay, umm let's see, well tonight just now in the playroom, while you were being gentle with me, I…." she starts but I interrupt her.

"Anastasia, it was a punishment. I knew you wouldn't like it. You weren't meant to," I try to explain. Surely she knows how punishments work, but she shakes her head at me.

"But I did. I did like it. I was begging for you to…oh god," She says putting her head in her hands.

Fuck the life out of me. She liked it? She fucking liked it! 

"Anastasia, Your body was expecting pain and when that didn't happen, it had to compensate." I say trying to convince myself as much as her, because the fact is I was gentle with her and SHE LIKED IT.

Hell she damn near came.

"No. Sir, you don't understand," She says getting up off the bed to pace in front of me.

"The other night I was home with …. And he started to…um he was gentle with me like you just were…but."

Well that visual just caused my dick to shrivel up and die. But wait, what? She's trying to tell me that she's upset because she felt something with me and not with him? 

"You didn't feel anything," I finish for her. Hopeful that is the case.

"No Sir," She says getting upset again "When the man I love touches me, I can't feel a damn thing unless I hurt myself, but when you, an almost complete stranger touches me I beg for him not to stop! God what is wrong me? I'm never going to be normal. I am beyond fucked up."

Stranger? Is that how she still sees me?

"Enough!" I yell stalking toward her. The anger in my voice makes her jump little. I take a deep breath to calm down and get over the sting of being called a stranger.

"Anastasia, I am not going to stand her and let you beat yourself up," I tell her, becoming sick and tired her thinking that what she is and what we do is fucked up.

Suddenly she burst out into full blown laughter. For a moment I'm at a loss as to what the fuck is so funny. Then it dawns on me what I just said.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm a riot.

"You feel better," I ask after she calms down and stops laughing.

"A little, but I'm still confused. Why do I get aroused with you and not with J.R," she asks.

Because you are mine, baby that's why. The sooner you admit it to yourself and stop feeling guilty about it the happier we will all be.

"Anastasia, this is all new to you. You need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Most importantly you need to stop letting other people define what's normal and not normal for you. You have to figure out for yourself what you want and what you need. Maybe I can help you do that," I tell her.

"Thank you Sir," she says as I lead her back to the bed to sit down.

"Well as your Dom, it's part of my job," I tell her as I flick the tip of her cute little nose with my finger making her giggle.

And although it is true as her Dom it is my job to make sure she's okay not only physically, but emotionally. The real truth is the thought of leaving her at the hands of a boyfriend that is so completely oblivious to how much she hates herself, is abhorrent to me.

I kiss her gently on the lips before leaving her to get dressed.

"Sir," she calls for me and I turn to look at her.

"How many submissives have you had," she ask.

Damn!

"Fifteen," I answer.

"And did they all stay here," she asks looking around the room.

"Yes," I answer "But only on the weekends." I throw in seeing the surprised look on her face.

"The woman whose voice I heard on the phone was she your submissive," She asks.

Damn, I've been dreading her asking these questions.

"Yes, she was a long time ago," I answer.

"She called you Master," she says and I nod.

Fucking Leila, biggest mistake of my life, I swear.

"She did," I sigh. "It was her way of making me angry thinking that it would make me want to punish her."

"I don't understand. How would that make you angry," She ask.

"I never allow a sub to call me Master, unless she is special to me. She has to be someone that I value above everything else," I tell her truthfully.

"Why did you stop seeing her," she asks.

Because she abused Gail for months behind my back. Because she tried to use my parents as a way to manipulate me into loving her. Because she's a gold digging whore who broke in here and tried to seduce me.

"She fell in love with me and I didn't feel the same way," I simply say.

"Oh," she says.

"Um, have you ever…I mean...Did you ever love any of them," She asks.

Shit, I was hoping you wouldn't ask me that.

"No" I answer.

"I don't do love, Anastasia," I tell her.

Just so we're clear, love is not where you and I are headed, sweet girl.

"Oh," she says, looking disappointed.

I'm sorry about that baby, but I'm incapable of love.

"But how many have called you Master," she asks.

"None," I say sadly.

See? I'm the one who's fucked up. Much too fucked up for love. 

I leave her to get dressed.

…..

I go downstairs in the great room to wait for her. I stand there looking out the window at the city below wishing that things could be different. I wish that I could be different. I wish I could love. Unfortunately that was burned out of me by my mother's pimp when I was four years old.

I feel Anastasia as she comes and stands behind me. Ever the obedient sub, she waits patiently for me to acknowledge her.

"Do you have everything, Ms. Steele," I ask her turning from the window to face her.

"Yes, Sir," she answers.

"Good" I say as I walk her to the elevator. "We will continue our training tomorrow then?"

"Yes Sir" she confirms. "And Mr. Grey, I'm truly sorry for the things I said to you the other night. I didn't mean it. I'm not…I don't really feel like...I'm wasting my time…in fact it's quite the opposite."

"I know" I tell her as I kiss her goodbye.

"Tomorrow Ms. Steele." I tell her not wanting to make her feel like I'm "fuckin and duckin" as Elliot says. She nods yes and I kiss her again.

I nod to Taylor and Anastasia turns to look at him apparently not knowing he was there.

Yeah he is a stealthy bastard, I know.

I look at her as the elevator doors begin to close, remembering what happened last time, I wonder if she's learned her lesson tonight.

"Anastasia," I say in warning.

"Sir," she says softly as the elevator doors close.

Mmm there's my good girl.


	16. Thank Fuck He knows!

Addicted To Love

Chapter 16

Thank Fuck He knows!

Christian's POV

Friday Morning begins on a foul note, Anastasia has just informed me that we will not be training this weekend because she wants to visit her father in Montesano, which now leaves me disappointed, but I understand the need to get away before the start of her big promotion on Monday.

I have now selfishly demand that she spend the morning online distracting me from this department head meeting followed closely by Ros's "worship me because I just sealed a deal so let me tell you all about it even though, you were there." meeting.

Her: Sir, what a horrible thing to say about your employees. I 

would think you would have a higher opinion of the 

commoners that work under you.

Me: Nothing common about these pricks. I overpay them and then 

I'm forced to babysit them. You are suppose to be distracting 

me from work Ms. Steele.

Her: I am sorry sir, I am not myself this morning, you see I had an 

intense session with my Dom last night and he refused to give 

me an orgasm, so it makes it very difficult to function 

correctly.

Ohhh, baby, I've been thinking of nothing else but burying my face in that wet pussy of yours until those juices explode around me.

Me: Oh, Ms Steele, I'm sure your Dom would love to give you an 

orgasm, in fact he'll do so right now if you're in such a need."

Yes, right fucking NOW.

Her: Sir?

Me: Do you want to cum Anastasia?

Her: Yes, sir but I'm in a cubicle sir. Everyone can see me.

Me: You could always come here.

Plenty of privacy for us here, baby

Her: Are you being serious sir?

Me: Very serious. Come here now. 

Her: But how? I mean I just got to work.

Me: Figure out a way. You have one hour to get here, or I will 

come there and throw you across your desk and I don't care 

who sees. When you get her, ask for Taylor, he will show you 

to my office.

Her: yes sir.

I call Taylor to inform him that Ms. Steele is on her way and he is to escort her directly to my office. I phone Andrea and have her clear my schedule for the rest of the day due to an extremely important meeting and I do not want us to be disturbed under any circumstances.

Now I sit and wait for my beautiful girl to come to me.

….

I glance up to see her standing stark still and lost in thought at the door.

I am blown away by the sight of her in that form fitting pencil skirt and that tight blouse that can barely contain her full breast.

Sweet Jesus. I have to have her now.

I race to her so quickly I nearly run her over. I push her back against the door, lift her arms above her head and kiss her like my next breath depended on it.

She opens her mouth to breath and I slip my tongue inside. I moan at the taste of her, as our tongues slow dance. I reach behind her and lock the door. I quickly lift her in my arms and carry her to my desk. I sit her down and begin unbuttoning her blouse, hungry for one of her perfectly pink nipples.

"Sir," She says stopping my movements. "What if someone knocks, or calls, or…" she says between my kisses.

"My assistant knows not to interrupt us." I assure her as I continue on with my task.

Our lips are locked together as we undress one another. I unhook her bra and run the palm of my hands up and down the soft skin of her back. Her moaning is driving me crazy. I can't get close enough to her.

I look down at her nipples contemplating which one I want to give attention to first. But before I can choose, my impatience girl grabs the back of my head and forces my mouth to the closes orb.

Yes! Take control, baby, show me who I belong to!

I have no choice but to latch on and suck hard. She throws her head back and moans loudly, but then quiets down thinking someone might here.

I explain to her as best I could, with her nipple in my mouth, that the room is sound proof and we can be as loud as we need to.

My hands find the hem of her skirt and I drag it slowly up her legs to pull down her panties and her heels. Fuck yes! She's wearing high heels.

Naked…must have her…naked, is my only coherent thought.

Clothes are now flying everywhere as we frantically undress each other desperate to feel each other's skin. She reaches out to touch my chest and I freeze.

"Don't touch my chest or upper back." I whisper to her in plea.

"But why," she asks as she looks at the small burns that pepper my chest.

"I'll tell you later," I say to her not wanting what we are doing to end.

She nods her head

Paperwork be damned as I sweep it along with everything else on my desk on to the floor.

I turn my attention once again to her breast as I suck each one. I then make my way up to her neck, kissing her lips and stopping at her ear.

"Let me taste you Anastasia, I've been dreaming of it since you left me last night." I whisper to her in confession.

The thought of my mouth sucking on that pretty pink clit has invaded ever inch of mind since last night.

My dick suddenly grows hard and on its own accord seeks out her entrance. I feel her hips buck slightly into me and I fight desperately against the urge to just plunge in. I readjust myself and now the tip of my dick is resting very uncomfortably between the cheeks of her ass and my desk

"You're so fucking beautiful. So sexy. Let me taste you. Let me make you cum. I just want to make you feel good, baby."

Fuck I called her baby again. But the way her body is responding, I think she likes it.

Mmm I'll keep on saying it baby, if it gets you going like this.

"Oh yes! Please, Sir." She whispers

I grab her face with my left hand, her chin in between my thumb and fingers. I look at her for any signs of doubt. I need to be sure she knows exactly what I mean to do.

I look in her eyes for permission to continue.

If you don't want this, baby, you're going to have to say so because I'm not planning to walk away this time.

She nods her head yes.

Oh thank fuck, finally!

I kiss her hard on the lips. I lower her down so that her back is resting on my desk. I spread her legs so that they are now open wide before me.

I lean over and kiss her mouth. She moans as my lips leave her mouth and work their way down her body. My tongue darts out and dips down into her belly button as it continues its journey.

She begins to squirm under me so I glide my hand up between her breasts and press her still against the desk. I know focus all of my attention on the delicacy that is laid out before me. But then I catch myself.

What is this girl doing to me? I am the Dom, for fucks sakes, it is her job to pleasure me. 

I call for Dom Christian wanting him to emerge and put a stop to this shit.

But then I look down at that sweet, sexy girl laid out and open before me, her warm body squirming and begging for me to pleasure her and….

Fuck! All the fight in me disappears.

The Dom in me has surrendered and is now being whipped into submission by Ms Anastasia Rose Steele and damn if that fucker's not enjoying every minute of it.

The rest of me follows suit as I rededicate myself to the task at hand.

I nip her right inner thigh with my teeth then move to her left. Taking both of her legs and draping them over my shoulder, I grab hold of her waist and tug her down until her pussy is directly in front of my nose and mouth.

"Mmm, you smell so good." I moan as I inhale her

She closes her legs slightly on impulse. I take my hands and hold them open.

"Oh please sir," She whisper

"Tell me what you want Anastasia?" I demand

"Please I want to cum, sir" she begs

"Tell me what you want me to do, Anastasia?" I demand

I need to hear you say it, baby. I need to know that you're sure.

"I want you to…oh sir please…I need you…" she rambles on

Just as I am about to give in to her and to my own selfish desires, everything comes to a crashing halt as her phone rings.

Fuck!

…..

"Hi" she answers and I look on knowing exactly who the hell it is she's talking to.

"Oh, I'm just finishing up some stuff and... you know…making sure I have everything before I head out." She says

"I promise I will" she says

"I love you too." She whispers and closes her eyes.

I stand there in utter confusion. What the hell just happened? What am I allowing to happen? I need to just let her go. Why can't I let her the fuck go? I can have a nice, obedient sub that is available to my every command. One who will satisfy my every whim.

I'm kidding myself, that shit gets old quick and is boring as hell. The last thing I need is another drone to suck the life out of me. No I want my sweet girl, I want the breath of fresh air she brings. I want the excitement I feel whenever I know she's near. Damnit I want her.

So lost in my own thoughts I didn't even realize that she was now getting dressed to leave.

No, baby I don't want you go. I'm not angry with you. 

"Anastasia, wait" I call to her and she stops to listen. She keeps her eyes on the floor refusing to look at me.

"Look at me." I demand and she shakes her head. I walk over to her to grab her chin and lift her head forcing her to look at me.

"I'm sorry." she whispers and I wipe a stray tear that falls from her eyes and down her cheek.

Don't be. This is just as much my fault as it is yours. I knew the deal when I signed up for it. I'm the one that's sorry for confusing you and not giving you time to figure out what you want. 

"How about Chinese," I ask softly trying to make her feel okay again.

"I don't'…understand." She says looking at me confused.

I'm mercurial baby, you're gonna have to deal with it.

"Its lunch time, I'm hungry. Do you like Chinese food?"

"Yes.." She says and I give her a look

"Yes, sir." She corrects herself

"Good." I say putting on my clothes. "Get dressed and I'll have something delivered to us."

Twenty minutes later we are cuddled up together on my large dark grey couch eating our Chinese food.

She's laughing at my failed efforts to actually get the shrimp fried rice into her mouth with my chopsticks. We are both trying to feed each other, but we are getting more on us than in us.

Finally giving up, I take one of the spoons and shovel a large amount into my mouth.

"Hey, what about me?" she asks, poking her lips out in a pout.

I laugh at her as she dramatically chews the large portion I just placed into her mouth.

"I like this." She says "I mean…it seems so…"

"Normal" I finish her sentence as I stop eating and put the carton on the table.

Not this shit again.

"Nothing about you and me is normal, sir." she says. And now she's pissing me off.

"I don't want normal with you" she says

What the fuck does that suppose to mean?

"I mean I like what we have, sir. I don't want…" her struggle to say what she means frustrates me.

"What? Anastasia what don't you want? And for that matter what do you want?" I ask her

"I don't know." she says

"Yes you do" I demand and she looks at me now angry that I'm pushing her.

"I want commitment. I want a husband and kids. I want stability. I want consistency. I want safety, I want…normal." she whispers the last word as if that will lessen the sting.

"What about happiness. What about fulfillment? What about passion? What about peace of mind knowing that the person you're with accepts you for who you are?" I come back at her.

"Of course I want that." She says

"But do you have that now, with your boyfriend? You spend so much time trying to hide who you are to conform into his idea of normal. Why? What are you getting out of it?"

"I'm getting a wonderful man who loves me." she says

Ouch! That hurt!

"He doesn't even know you, Anastasia!"I yell trying to hurt her back.

"And you do?" she asks

"Yes, more than you know." I tell her.

Hasn't she figured it out by now that I know her? That I see her for who she is and I….I. aw hell!

"God it's like I'm beating my head against a fucking wall." I say in frustration.

What the hell does that suppose to mean? She asks offended like she doesn't already know.

"It means every time I think I'm getting through to you, you go and pull that 'I want normal card' and it's bullshit. You use it because you are terrified of who you are. You use it to hurt me and to push me away, because you know if you gave this half a chance…." Shit! I have to stop myself from saying too much.

"What...huh? She asks, but I won't answer.

"And what about you sir?" she continues."Are you happy with having submissives that you don't love, that are never allowed to love you? What do you want?"

Is she fucking Serious? Has she really not figured me out yet?

"See, it's not an easy thing to know is it?" She asks

"You" I say

"What?" She asks in complete surprise

"I want you, Anastasia? I have since the moment I saw you. Why the hell do you think I'm doing this?" I ask, finally laying it out for her.

"Yes, I know, you want me as your submissive, with contracts and paperwork…" she says.

"Fuck the contracts, Anastasia. Fuck the paperwork." I tell her "Do you think any of that shit matters at this point in whatever the hell this is that we're doing? Because, let's be honest here, we've long since blurred the lines between Dom and submissive and…." I stop and catch myself before I tell her what I really want us to be.

"And what?" she asks.

"Ms. Steele?" I say in an effort to reestablish our Dom/sub relationship. But of course it backfires terribly.

"You know what, Mr. Grey, Sir. You're right. We have blurred the lines and I think it's time we made things more clear. I think we need to keep to our original agreement. This needs to stay…professional." She says

"Perhaps, your right" I bluff

"Yes, sir" she calls me on it.

Damnit! Now she decides to call my bluff!

"I should go I have a long drive to my dad's so…" she says gathering her things to leave.

"Anastasia, wait." I call after her. "I…." I want to tell her that I don't want us to be all about business. I want to tell her to give us a real chance. But I know that's not at all what she wants.

"Have a good weekend, Ms Steele. Enjoy your time with your dad." I say instead "and your new job on Monday." I add remembering her promotion.

"Oh god don't remind me" She says frowning

"I thought this promotion was what you wanted." I ask curious as to why she wouldn't be happy about it.

"It was until I found out I would be working for that asshole that you saved me from at chains." She says

What? How the fuck did I miss this?

"I wasn't aware that he worked with you. What was his name again?" I ask her

"Jack Hyde" and the way she says his name screams all kinds of red flags.

"Well I should go. Have a good weekend sir" she says opening the door. The thought of her having a good weekend without me suddenly depresses me.

"Drive safely Mr. Steele. Taylor will see you to your car." I tell her nodding at Taylor.

I make my way to my phone to call Welch.

"Jack Hyde," I tell him. "Editor at Seattle Independent Publishing. I want to know everything about him. EVERYTHING. Most importantly I want to know what happened to his last assistant and why he's suddenly hired a new one."

Taylor enters as I hang up with Welch.

"Did Ms. Steele make it out okay?" I ask him

"Yes, Mr. Grey." He says "And the tracking device was successfully installed and is working properly."

"Good, good" I smile at him "She's leaving for Montesano sooner than expected. Is Sawyer on her now?

"Yes sir, Mr. Grey. He followed her out as she left." Taylor tells me

"He knows what he's doing, right? I mean this fucker better be a ghost. He is not to intervene unless absolutely necessary. If she even mentions to me that she thought someone was following her. He's done."

"I can assure you, Luke Sawyer is the second best in the business. If you need him to be a ghost then call him Casper, sir." He says with such seriousness. I can never tell when he's bullshiting me.

"Is that your lame ass excuse for a joke, Taylor? Get out." I tell him

"Of course, Mr. Grey," he turns to leave.

"Taylor?" I call after him and he turns around

"Who's the best?" I ask him confused by his description of Sawyer and wondering why the hell he would hire someone who's second best.

"Why I am of course, sir" he says with a smirk

Arrogant bastard

I leave GEH late avoiding, going home to an empty house for as long as I can. As I'm riding home, My cell phone rings.

"What do you want Elliot?" I say to him

"Hello to you too bro. Whatcha doing tonight?" he says

"What do you want Elliot?" I ask again

"God you're a fucking prick. I want to come over to hang out. It'll be like old times. You, me, throw some steaks on the grill, coupla beers. Whata ya say bro? You game?

"Fine I'll see you in a little while" I tell him

Elliot arrives at Escala twenty minutes after I do. And of course he is not alone.

"Hey bro, I thought I'd bring some friends along." He says

Grabbing some beers from the fridge, he leads them over to meet me.

Fucking Great Elliot.

"Gia? Julie? This is my baby brother Christian. Christian? This is my girl Gia and her good friend Julie." he introduces us

I say hello to Gia, before turning my attention to Julie, who I guess is suppose to be for me. She stands there aw struck and open mouthed. I take a moment to check her out. She's not a bad looking girl. She's actually quite attractive. Not as cute as my girl of course, but she'll do.

This might be a fun night after all.

By my fourth beer, and a few shots of tequila I'm feeling pretty good.

I look over at Elliot and Gia who are about to fuck right there on the damn floor, so I decide to turn my attention to what's her name over here….Julie.

She starts to run her hand up my leg and damn she's hot. Why the fuck didn't I see how hot she was when I first met her.

Wait what the fuck am I doing?

I grab Julie's hand and move away from her

"What's the matter, I thought you liked me?" she asked

"I'm sure you're wonderful, Julie but I'm kind of seeing someone." I tell her hoping that didn't come out as lame as I think it did.

"I don't care, I want to have a little fun. I probably won't see you again after tonight anyway. Why don't we go to your room and…have some fun?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea." I tell her coldly

I'll leave this type of shit to Elliot.

"Why don't you go and join Gia and Elliot over there I'm sure they won't mind." I tell her

"Suit yourself." she says as she gets up to join them.

I'm sure Elliot doesn't even realize I've gone to bed leaving security to keep an eye on them.

Fucking Elliot

After an hour of tossing and turning I finally drift off to sleep, when I am awaken by my phone ringing.

Elliot, I swear to God if you forgot something.

I look down at the phone surprised. Sawyer reported that she got there safely and all was well a little over an hour ago.

"Anastasia," I say answering the phone but she doesn't answer. "What's wrong?"

"Mr. Grey, I don't think that this...What we are doing is helping me the way I thought that it would. I thought that if I learned BDSM, then it would make my relationship better, but….all I feel is guilt and confusion."

Aw baby, don't start with this again, please.

"Anastasia, you feel guilt because you won't admit that maybe your relationship is the problem? You've had these feelings long before BDSM, if you didn't you wouldn't have been cutting yourself. Why are you torturing yourself over a man you don't really love?"

"I do…"

Bullshit!

"No you don't. You love the idea of him and don't fool yourself into thinking that he loves more than the idea of you too." I tell her far too bluntly

"Why are you so angry with me?" she asks

I'm not angry with you, baby. I've had too much fucking beer. I'm tired and I want you here with me. Not calling me to say what we have is mistake.

"Did you call me to tell me that you didn't want to see me again, Anastasia?" I ask her more calmly.

"Yes…No…. I don't know. I thought I wanted to end things with you. To go back to the way things were, but then I don't because, now when I'm with J.R. I feel like shit, but after being with you I feel…" she stops

What? You feel what?

"You feel what? Say it." I demand

"I don't know." she says

"You do know! Say it." I yell at her angry now. "FOR FUCK SAKES SAY IT, ANASTASIA OR SO HELP ME!…

I will come to Montesano pull you over my knee spank the shit out of you and then give you what you been begging for since last night.

"Normal!" she yells. "I feel normal. And that makes me feel like shit because it's not fair to J.R. None of this is his fault. He wants to marry me. To share his life with me and I….I can't hurt him I can't tell him the truth so I run. I ran."

"You're running? Is that what we're doing? Is that all this is to you?" I ask her.

Is she just using me to run from him?

"No, sir!" she says "I meant I ran here. I ran home to my dad."

Shit baby! I could have hid you out. I laugh

"Well" I say "If anyone can get you sorted out…" and she gasp at my joke.

"OH MY GOD! I mean my REAL FATHER! You have a filthy mind, Mr. Grey." She says. She really has no idea.

"I knew who you meant. I just wanted to…I don't know... make you feel better," I say to her glad that she didn't take offense.

"How do you do that," she whispers

"Do what?" I ask.

"Make me feel better?" she says

Because, I know you. I can give you what you need. All you have to do is let me.

"Damnit, Anastasia if you would just….you have it in your head that he is the perfect guy and if you marry him than all of these other feelings that you have will just magically go away and you'll live some happy storybook fairytale. All I ask is that you take the weekend and really think about what you want. Then, if you decide to end your training, I will respect your decision. But once your training is over, we will be over. Understand?"

Think hard about it because I'm not sure how much longer I can do this.

"Yes Sir. I understand." She says "I promise, I will think about it."

"So…. did you get any work done after I left?" And I cringe thinking about Elliot, Gia, and Julie.

No need putting that in her head along with everything else.

"Not really" I say "My brother came by and it all went to hell after that." It's kind of what happened.

"I didn't know you had a brother! Why don't' you ever talk about him?" she asks

"Because, I don't talk about my personal life with my submissives" I say

"Oh I'm sorry, sir." She says and I can tell she misunderstood. She's nothing like my other submissives, so I have no problem telling her.

"Don't' be." I whisper "I have and older brother, Elliot and a younger sister, Mia."

"You're a middle child!" she says excited and I can't help but laugh.

"Wow… what about your parents?" she asks and I get comfortable in bed as I tell her all about my family and how it was for me growing up.

Leaving out my birth mother and Elena of course.

…..

Anastasia came back from Montesano more dedicated to her training than ever. We have been playing together nearly every day for the last two weeks. But tonight she said she needed some alone time. Since the boyfriend is at work I see no problem with that.

She is becoming quite the little submissive. Fuck, the things that girl has agreed to do for me. She has become my addiction.

"Mr. Grey?" Andrea buzzes in

"Yes, Andrea what is it?" I ask

"You're brother is on line six, he says you're not answering your cell phone and It's urgent." She says

Fucking Elliot.

"Elliot? You finally came up for air?" I ask him remembering the last time I called and interrupted him and Gia from doing who knows what. I swear he was so out of breath I thought she'd have to give him mouth to mouth.

"Yeah real funny. Check the time before you call." he says, reminding me of his no phone calls between 10pm and 2am rule which are the peak times for him to get laid by whatever he's bringing home from the bar at night

"Really? Still? How is Gia, by the way," I ask changing the subject

"We're done dude, for real this time. We were working on a project together and she fucked up, now she's mad at me for not walking away from the job, because she got fired. The bitch is crazy." He says

"Anyway, I want to go out and drown my sorrows tonight, and who do I think of to help me? Of course it's you baby bro." he says

"Uh huh" I say "What do you want Elliot?" I ask

"Okay here's the deal, bro. I really want to go out tonight. I've been hanging out with this buddy of mine, the manager of the restaurant you rented for my crew. By the way thanks again for that bro …"

"Elliot?" I say interrupting him

I swear he has to give a fucking speech every time.

"Okay, okay" he says "anyway, he mentioned that his girl always wanted to go to the Mile High Club and I just happen to mention that my baby brother owns it, and he just happened to mention that if he, meaning you, could get him and her in, then she has some fine ass friends she can bring along. So now this whole plan hinges on you. So what do you say, can you get us in tonight?"

I'm rendered speechless. How the fuck am I going to handle this?

"Well, I can do you one better, not only will I get you in; I will open up the top floor private area and allow whatever girls you want to impress can have access to it. What do you think?" I ask

"Ya see, I knew somewhere under there was a cool dude. Thanks, bro I appreciated It." he says

Now to invite myself along

"No problem, I was going to ask you to hang out with me tonight, but I guess we can do it another time. Seeing how you're busy and all." I sigh with mock sadness.

"Well why don't you come hang with us. The more the merrier. Jake's a really cool guy I'm sure you'll like him. Besides I can't' handle all the babes, I'm gonna need my wing man." He says.

We make a plan to meet later tonight at Mile High.

Well Well, it looks like my girl has been keeping secrets from me. 

…

Elliot and I arrive first and we take a seat in the corner booth to wait for Anastasia and her friends to arrive.

APOV

We make it to the club and up to the top floor. J.R. goes in search of his friend while Kate, Julie, and I head for the bar. We order a round of tequila.

"Hey Jake, over here!" someone yells

I turn my head to get a look at J.R.'s friend Elliot. When my eyes land on Mr. Grey, and I nearly faint at the sight of him and J.R. together shaking hands and talking.

Oh my god this is bad. This is really bad.

"Ana what's wrong?" Kate says seeing that I am now pale as a ghost. I grab her shot of tequila and gulp it down.

"He's here."I whisper to Kate as I look over at Julie who is deep in conversation with some guy on the other side of the bar.

"Who's here?" she asks confused

"My Dom" I whisper to her and watch her head swing around trying to pin point who I'm speaking of.

"Kate, he's talking to J.R." I whisper close to hyperventilating.

She tries to act like she's not looking as she looks.

"The blond" she asks and I shake my head as she pretends not to look again.

"Holy shit!" she says "Do you know who that is?" she asks and I want to strangle her.

She looks around to be sure no one is listening as she whispers

"Are you telling me that Christian Grey is your Dom?" I quickly nod my head

"What...how….why did I not know this? Are you fucking kidding me right now? Do you know I tried to get an interview with him in college..."

"OH MY GOD KATE," I yell in whisper at her.

"Okay right, this is not about me, I'm sorry." She says

"What am I going to do? I have to get out of her. You have to help me. Just tell J.R. I got sick or something." I beg her

"No you can't do that. You can't leave J.R. alone with him. And really how are you going to explain your sudden illness? You are going to have to play this cool. Just do what we all do in these situations which is don't do shit. As a matter of fact you don't know shit. You've never seen him before in your life. Got it?" she says.

"I'm going to need some time alone to find out what's going on with Mr. Grey, keep J.R. busy for me okay?" I ask and she nods

"Now come on Ana, get it together. Shit they're looking over her, let's go. I got your back don't worry." She says as she and I head over with Julie walking a step behind us.

"Sweetheart," J.R says as he pulls me close to him and drapes his arm over my shoulder. This is Elliot, the buddy I told you about."

Oh my god Elliot, as in Mr. Grey's older brother, Elliot. 

"Elliot this is my girl Ana and her friends Kate and Julie." I don't think Elliot hears a word he says because Kate is now in his crosshairs and he's not letting her go.

I do my best not to look at Mr. Grey as I stand there with my arm around J.R's waist.

I see Julie staring at Mr. Grey and I wonder what the fuck that's about.

"Julie, Kate, Ana this is Elliot's younger brother Christian Grey. He owns the place" J.R. says and I hold on to him a little tighter while I shake Mr. Grey's hand.

He barley acknowledges me and Kate, but he is on Julie like she's an old friend. In fact both he and Elliot seem to know her.

God this bitch gets around

Kate all but forgets me as Elliot takes her to the dance floor but what has got me pissed off is the fact that Mr. Grey and Julie are now tucked away in the corner engrossed in private conversation.

J.R pulls me out on the dance floor and we begin to move. I'm trying to pay attention to him, but I can't help but look at Julie as she's all over Mr. Grey and what's worse is that he is enjoying it. He doesn't even care that I'm in J.R's arms on the dance floor.

Well let's see if he'll care now

When he glances my way I pull J.R. into a deep kiss, plunging my tongue in and out of his mouth. I reach down and grab hold of his dick so hard it makes him moan. He grabs hold of my waist and presses me into him. I can feel him getting hard fast.

Now I feel guilty because I wasn't even thinking about J.R. just then.

God I fucking suck!

Feeling embarrassed I push J.R. away to go to the bathroom. I stop and ask for directions from Taylor and he points me in the right direction. Before I go, I turn back and roll my eyes at Mr. Grey who frowns angry at me.

Well right now I couldn't care less about him being angry.

CPOV

Did she just roll her fucking eyes at me? After that little display on the dance floor she feels she's the injured party here?

I've been sitting here conversing with my good friend Julie. I had no idea that when she came by with Elliot and Gia, she and Anastasia were friends. I've spent the better part of the night getting her drunk and flirting with her in an effort to pump her for information.

Now, according to her "Ana" is her "charity case". The "poor friend" she lets hang around to show that she cares about the working class people. I wonder if Anastasia knows she's pissed that she stole J.R. from her, or that she's been trying to take him from her ever since they met. Seems little Ms. Julie has been hanging around the restaurant a lot. So far he hasn't given her the time day.

I so need to lecture my girl on who the hell she associates herself with. 

I excuse myself from this skank and make my way to Taylor who has informed me that Ms. Steele is in the bathroom.

As Taylor and I stand outside the bathroom door I here Anastasia yell

"WELL FUCK HIM!"

Now I'm pissed

She pulls open the door and I look down into a pair of very blue and very frightened eyes.

I move forward quickly, pushing her back into the bathroom. Taylor takes up position outside the door.

She stands there looking around widely like trapped prey before she gets control of herself.

"Anastasia," I say in warning.

"Mr. Grey," she answers coldly.

"Who is the 'him' you want to fuck, Ms. Steele?" I ask but she doesn't respond.

"What did you think you were doing out on that dance floor?" I ask

No Answer.

"Do you think that was appropriate behavior?" I ask as I walk forward pushing her back until she hits the counter

No Answer.

"Anastasia, you will answer me when I ask you a question." my voice is low and menacing.

"I'm not sure I know what you are referring to…..Sir" she answers

"I am referring to you ramming your tongue down your boyfriend's throat and hand fucking him in the middle of the dance floor." My voice is much too calm.

"Well,….Sir, he is my boyfriend, it's not like I just meet him tonight or anything." She says sarcastically and I'm sure she is referring to my behavior with Julie.

I am so pissed that she would throw that in my face, when she's the one floor fucking.

I lean down close to her ear and whisper.

"And was that little display of affection for his benefit…or mine? Regardless, you have displeased me. Do you understand what happens now, Ms. Steele?"

It means I'm going to spank that sweet ass, right here in the bathroom.

"Yes" she whisper

I smack her as hard and she gasps in pleasure

Enjoy it while you can, baby

"Yes….what?" I ask

"Yes, Sir" she corrects herself.

"Turn around Ms. Steele I'm going to punish you now." I tell her and she complies.

"What are your safe words?" I ask

"Yellow and Red, Sir," she answers

"Take off your panties and lift that sexy dress of yours." She does as I ask with no hesitation.

Mmmm that's right baby, give me your submission. Let me see how far I can take you.

"Give me the panties Ms. Steele." she pauses and looks back at me.

No don't stop now.

She places her panties in my waiting hand. I bury my nose in them and inhale deeply.

"Mmmmmm, I can smell your arousal. Did kissing that boyfriend of yours get you this turned on?"

I know damn well it didn't.

I fold her panties and tuck them in my pants pocket.

Mine!

She gasps when she sees me take off my belt in realization that I mean to spank her with it.

"Place your palms flat on the counter Ms. Steele." She quickly does what I tell her, placing both her palms flat.

"Do you know why you're being punished?" I command her to answer

"Because I tried to make you jealous by seducing my boyfriend in front of you, Sir," she says

"No, Ms. Steele, try again." I command

"Because I was jealous that you were flirting with my friend, Sir," she says

Don't be jealous of that bitch, baby. She's nothing compared to you. And she's not your fucking friend!

"No! Ms. Steele," I say and I slap her hard on the ass with my belt.

She moans loudly and I know she is loves it.

I grab a fist full of her hair, yanking her head back, holding her steady as I begin to spank her.

"You. Are. Being. Punished. Because. You. Are. The. Submissive. You. Are. Not. In. Control. You. Do. Not. Get. To. Manipulate. Your. DOM."

My movements are very controlled as I bring the belt down and hit her hard on the ass emphasizing each word. Each hit is harder than the last.

Her pussy is soaked. I can see her juices begin to run down her legs. She is so close to Cuming. Her body begins to tremble and I know she is about to release.

I stop spanking her and drop the belt on the floor.

"You are not allowed to cum without permission, Ms. Steele." I remind her.

"May I cum please, Sir?" I can hear the desperate need in her voice.

"Sit on the counter. Open your legs and play with yourself." I command and she quickly obeys.

"You need to be quick, Anastasia." she begins to play with herself, rubbing her clit until it is pebble hard. Her juices splashing lightly as she moves her hand frantically from side to side.

Fuck! Baby yesss! Just the sight of you gets me going.

I grab her wrist, preparing to take it way. She works at her clit like she's possessed trying to make myself cum before I snatch her hand away.

"I control your orgasms, Anastasia." I tell her.

She glances down at my crotch and sees my erection pressed hard against my pants

"Pa...Please, Sir may I cum…please? She whispers.

And now for your punishment, Ms. Steele

"No!" I tell her angrily. I yank her hand away from her clit.

And I know she is beyond pissed.

"Fix yourself, Ms. Steele." I tell her as I adjust my pants.

Looks like it's going to be just me and my hand tonight

She hops off the counter, her hair bounces sending a whiff of her in my direction. I can't help but grab her and bury my nose into her neck.

"Fuck you smell so good," I run my nose up her neck to the hollow of her ear. "mmm…So fucking sexy."

"May I have my panties back please, Sir?" she asks keeping her eyes downcast failing to hide the smirk on her face.

She knows damn well what I plan to do with these panties. What I have to always do because she won't let me touch her.

"No," I say to her in anger. She's pissed me off all over again.

"And you are not allowed to play with yourself. If you need a release try fucking that boyfriend of yours," I sneer at her

"Leave now, I'm sure he's wondering what's kept you. I hope you're as good a liar as you are a manipulator, Mr. Steele." I say to her as I leave the bathroom fucking pissed that I have to spend another night jacking off with her underwear.

I leave the restroom and she quickly follows me. I nod to Taylor. He leaves us alone to make his way back down the hall.

"What is your problem, Christian," she says angrily.

Suddenly the anger that has been mildly contained all night explodes.

I turn around quickly and slam her hard against the wall. She looks around realizing that we are now in a very public hallway where anyone walking by can see us. She looks at me wide eyed and surprise realizing that she has just awakened her sleeping Dom.

I take her face in my right hand grabbing her checks with my thumb and index finger. I turn her face to look at me pinching her checks together so hard that her lips are pushed out into a duck pout.

"My problem MS. STEELE is that this little arrangement we have is of your creation. YOU are the one in the COMMITED relationship with YOUR BOYFRIEND. I have agreed to YOUR terms. I have also warned you that I DON'T LIKE TO SHARE. It is taking every ounce of control I have to stop myself from going up to that BASTARD, that you are killing yourself to be with, and punching him right in his face. SO DO NOT PROVOKE ME AGAIN, Anastasia. And don't think I didn't see that FUCKING eye roll you gave me earlier. When speaking to me, you will address me as SIR or MR. GREY,"

"Yes Sir, I'm very sorry, Mr. Grey." She whispers. And just like that, her Dom is satisfied once again.

I back away from her because the boyfriend has come into view with her friend, Kate hot on his heels.

"Sweetheart, what took you so long?" he says looking at her with a frown.

Kate's eyes go wide as she takes in her appearance and I'm sure she's figured out just how close they came to seeing something.

"Are you okay, Ana? What the hell happened to you?" The boyfriend says as he looks from her to me, to her again and I watch with unbridled joy when his confused face changes into realization.

THANK FUCK HE KNOWS!


	17. Oh What A Tangled Web

Addicted To Love

Chapter 17

Oh What A Tangled Web

Christian's POV

Anastasia stands there frozen, unable to say a word.

"I'd like to answer that if you don't mind, Ana," I say having to use her God awful nickname for the first time since we've met.

She looks over at me and I can see the tears forming in her eyes as I'm sure she knows that we've just been caught.

I pause for a brief moment, trying to decide which way I want to play this. I could move this poor bastard along in his thinking, knowing he will come to the conclusion that something just went down between me and his "girlfriend". Then I will have her all to myself. Let's face it, she's really mine anyway. She's been mine since the moment I saw her in that damn club. This is all just schematics on my part.

But of course, typical Anastasia, has to go and do what I least expect.

"NO!" Anastasia says turning to me "Don't! This is my mess. I'll deal with it."

"Deal with what," The boyfriend says. "What the hell is going on here, Ana?"

"J.R., Mr.…I mean Christian and I…We are…" Anastasia begins

"Ana," Kate interrupts in warning as Elliot and Julie come into view.

"Ana," The boyfriend says getting her attention once again.

"What's going on guys," Elliot says. "Why are we all standing in the hallway? Aw hell man. Is this the line for the bathroom cause, shit I really gotta drain my Weasel."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ELLIOT," I yell at him and he quickly shuts his mouth seeing that some serious shit is going down.

Julie, being a little quicker on the uptake, gets one look at a disheveled Anastasia with her close proximity to me, and her mouth falls open in surprise.

"OH MY GOD, YOU FUCKING SLUT!" Julie laughs out loud.

"Julie," Kate yells at her, pushing her farther back down the hall.

"Will you tell me what the hell is going on," the boyfriend yells at Anastasia and I instinctively pull her close to me.

"Take your Goddamn hands off of her," He yells tugging her out of my arms.

Next thing I know all hell breaks loose and we are all lost in a sea of throwing punches and females screaming. It all ends with Taylor holding on to the boyfriend, Elliot holding on to me, and Kate holding on to a hysterical Anastasia.

The boyfriend pulls away from Taylor, grabs Anastasia out of Kate's arms and hauls her out to the elevator.

I make a move to pursue, but Elliot holds fast to me.

"Let her go, dude," he says to me "Whatever the fuck that was, they need to handle it. He's loves her, he's not going to hurt her." I nod my head and he lets me go.

"Come on let's get out of here, we need to take the girls home" Elliot says.

"Don't worry about me." Julie says walking back toward the bar "I'll find my own way."

"I'll take Kate, home" Elliot says. "Listen bro, call me if you need me okay?" he says and I simply nod my head.

"Fuck, man what did you do? I swear I can't take you anywhere." He jokes and hits me on the back causing me to tense up a bit in surprise.

"Sorry bout that, bro. Taylor get him home, okay?" Elliot says and Taylor nods his head assuring him he will do just that.

…

Ana's POV

J.R. pushes me into our apartment and slams the door. He hasn't said a word to me since we left the club. I am at a loss as to what to do. I've never seen him so angry. I am actually scared to approach him.

"J.R." I say with trepidation.

"Not now!" he says pacing back and forth trying to calm his breathing.

"I need to calm down. I need to get the fuck out of here." He heads to the door.

"J.R. wait. We need to talk about…things." I say as I grab his arm.

"Believe me, you don't want to talk to me right now!" he says yanking away and walking out the door.

Oh my God I can't believe this. What have I done? I am so fucking pissed!

I go in search of my blackberry to call Mr. Grey.

"Anastasia?" he answers on the first ring. "Are you alrig…."

"Were you going to tell him about us," I ask.

"Anastasia," he warns.

"Don't Dom me, just answer the question," I yell back.

"No," he whispers "I was going to cover for you."

"LIER," I spit the word at him.

"DON'T FUCKING CALL ME A LIER, ANASTASIA! I'M NOT THE ONE LYING TO YOU! YOU LIE TO ME, YOU LIE TO YOUR BOYFREIEND, AND ABOVE ALL YOU LIE TO YOURSELF. AND I AM DONE WITH THIS SHIT!"

"What does that…"

"I have tried, Anastasia. I have done everything I know how to make you see. I can't do it anymore. You have to do it. I have laid it all out for you, baby. I have put everything you need right in your fucking hands, but I can't make you grab hold. And I can't keep torturing myself hoping that you will do what's right."

"What are you saying?" I ask fearful now.

"Anastasia," he whispers to me "Part of me was worried and hurting for you. Hell Taylor had to lock the elevators to stop me from coming for you. Part of me was relieved and to be honest happy that you were finally going to tell him the truth and give us a chance. I have been sitting here staring at this damn phone, waiting for you to call and tell me…" he stops and sighs

"Christian," I slip and call him by his first name.

"Don't', Anastasia. I already know you didn't do it and that somehow you got him to believe nothing's going on between us. I can't really blame him. I would believe anything too if it meant keeping you."

"No Chris…Sir, that's not…" I start.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't….this is done…. We're… done."

"WHAT! But you said, you understood. You said you would wait for me," I tell him sounding childish to my own ears.

"I HAVE! I STILL AM," He yells.

"I will always wait for you Anastasia, I will always want you. I will always be here for you, but I have to think about myself now. You have no idea what this is doing to me. YOU"VE GOT ME JACKING OFF WITH YOUR PANTIES WRAPPED AROUND MY DICK FOR FUCKS SAKE!"

"I'm sorry," I say crying.

"Good bye, Anastasia," he sighs then quickly hangs up on me.

I can't believe it. He just broke up with me. He just broke up with me over the phone. He never cared about me. He just used me to…well fuck him!

I slam the phone down in the drawer not even caring if I broke it.

…

J.R's POV

I can't fucking believe that son of bitch!

I go back to the Mile High Club hoping to find that asshole. I know he's Elliot's brother, but right now I don't give a damn. He's got it coming to him. The man at the door recognized me from earlier and lets me in.

I make my way up to the top floor, but he is nowhere to be found.

"Jakey," I hear her calling me.

I look over to find Julie waving me over to where she's sitting.

"Julie have you seen Christian Grey?" I ask her

"Nope" she says "they all left right after you did. Come sit down, talk to me. I'm lonely."

"Why are you still here" I ask her.

"They just left me here, strained. I'm so glad you came because I didn't know how I was going to get home." She says slurring her words so much that I have to concentrate hard to understand her.

Damn how is she still conscious?

"Well that's just fucking great! Sorry about that, hon," I say and she smiles.

"Sooooo," she says sliding next to me. She puts her chin on my shoulder causing me to lean back and look at her.

Seriously? 

"What happened with him and Ana tonight," she asks pissing me off all over again.

"She fucked him," I say crudely

"Ha! Fat chance of that ugly..." she starts and quickly stops, catching herself.

"What does that suppose to mean, Julie," I ask. Wondering why I still have the need to defend her after tonight.

"Welllll," she says. "I know for a fact that he is not that into her."

"How? Julie," I call for her attention.

"Because he is into ME silly. He was flirting with me all night. You saw it. I guess maybe he got pissed off cause I didn't want him. I want you." She says the last word while placing her index finger on my mouth.

"I guess he seduced her to make me jealous. I mean really why else? She is so fucking dumb. She probably didn't know he was using her. I mean did she really think a guy like that would want her. I mean he's not good enough for me, but…." she shrugs.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

"Well good riddance for you anyway, she was just holding you back from who you are supposed to be with." She says.

"Yeah right, look Julie, I'm going to call you a cab," I say to her getting up and taking out my cell phone.

"But I thought you would take me home. Come on you know you want to. Ana's not giving it up, not to you anyway. How long has it been? Don't you miss it? You are never going to find anyone as good as me," she says and I shake my head.

I chalk her flirting up to her being drunk as I put some money in her hand to pay for the cab and make sure the bartender cuts her off. I head back home to Ana. I need to get to the bottom of this.

…

I walk in to see Ana pretty much how I left her on the couch. I walk to the fridge grab a beer and gulp it down.

"J. R," she says through tears and sits down across from me at the table.

"Did you fuck him, Ana," I ask her.

"No," she quickly says shaking her head.

"But something happened," I ask her and she nods her head yes.

"We're you drunk, did he do take advantage of you," I ask and she shakes her head no.

"THEN WHAT THE FUCK ANA," I yell in frustration causing her to jump and look at me in surprise.

"J.R….he and I have been…tonight wasn't the first time he and I met. You see..God J.R. this is so hard to say because I know you are going to hate me. I deserve it, I know I do, but I really do love you and I was doing it for you…for us. I've been keeping this terrible secret and I went to this bar and Jack Hyde was there and he was coming on to me and then Mr. Grey saved me and I thought he could help me with telling you my secret and it just…happened…I…we didn't mean for it to go the way it has. It was just business…"

"Stop, you're making my head spin," I tell her taking a minute to try and figure out whatever it is that she is trying to say.

"You went to a club," I ask her and she nods,

"A BDSM club," she says.

ABD what?

She explains it to me,

"Why were you there," I ask her,

"Well Kate new a guy, who was in it and we were going to go together, but then she met Frank and she couldn't go so I went," She says,

"Of course, Kate," I accuse her bestfriend.

"NO, it wasn't Kate, she was just trying to help," She says.

"Wait Jack Hyde was there trying to get into your panties," I ask and she nods.

"And Grey was there? He's into that fucked up shit? It figures," I say.

"No! I ran into him on the street trying to get away from Jack," she says.

"He was chasing you? And now you are working for that psychopath," I ask her amazed that she would agree to work for the likes of him.

"No, he was just…drunk and he apologized, its okay now," she says.

"Ohgod ohgod ohgod," she whispers rubbing her forehead and biting her lip the way she does when she's worried.

"We're getting off track" she says and I nod In agreement.

"Okay umm" I say trying to remember what she'd first said.

"You have a secret?" I ask her and she nods

She gets up and shows me her stomach. I have to look hard but I can see very faint marks on her, similar to scratches.

I look at her confused

"I use to cut myself." She says

"What? Why?" I ask her

"I need to do it to become aroused…sexually." She says

"Wha…how..okay" I say getting up and moving over to the counter.

"J.R?" she says wanting me to sit back down

"No I'm good…it's okay" I tell her "when did this..when did you start this?"

"When you and I became serious and started fooling around more. You wanted me to ….you know, and I couldn't...you know, until I cut myself first. I was so ashamed. I knew you wouldn't like it so I hid it. I've been hiding it. That's why I didn't want you to see me naked because I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want to tell you I needed to hurt myself to be…to cum..for you." she says and takes a deep breath.

"You use to want me to hit you when we were going at it. Is that why?" I ask her

"Yes" she says "I went to the club to find out about BDSM because I thought we could learn how to do it together so that I wouldn't have to cut myself." She says.

"BDSM," I ask her "bondage, dominance, sadism, masochism? You thought I would do that to you?" I ask just to clarify and she nods her head

"Ana, I can't…"

"I know" she whispers "looking back on it now. It was a really stupid idea. I was just desperate to keep you, to keep us together."

"You thought that I wouldn't understand this?" I ask extremely hurt.

"My god, sweetheart, do you think that little of me?" I ask her

"J.R I'm sorry" she says starting to cry

"It's fine." I reassure her. "So where does Christian Grey fit into all this? I mean you told him your secret, right, how could he possible help you with cutting and BDSM and all"

"Wh...Well. You see he had a... girlfriend, who was into BDSM...well not really BDSM, but hurting herself and he taught her different ways to cope with It." she says

"How was he helping you cope with it? Maybe I could help too?" I ask

"Just a lot of breathing, rubber band snapping, you know text book stuff." She says

"So what the hell were you two doing tonight, Ana? Huh? And don't sit there and tell me you two were pulling rubber bands in the damn bathroom." I ask her and she shakes her head

"We…he and I …like I said he has been helping me and we've gotten close. I didn't mean to get close to him, but I did… J.R. I'm so sorry. I never planned that to happen. I didn't have sex with him, we were just fooling around. But J.R. it's over...as of tonight…he and I are over." She says.

"Damnit Ana, how could you do this? Huh? What? Is it his money? Is that why…"

"NO! You know me better than that J.R." she has the nerve to say

"OH! Do I," I snap back at her.

"YES! In fact I didn't even know who he was until I goog…" she catches herself and stops

"How long has this been going on Ana," I ask.

No answer

"HOW LONG," I yell at her to answer me.

"Not long," She whispers.

"A week! A month?" No answer

"Well to hell with this, I'm done," I say holding up my hands in surrender and walking away.

"What? No wait J.R," she calls after me in vain.


	18. The Truth Hits Hard

Addicted To Love

Chapter 18

The Truth Hits Hard

Christian's POV

"Christian," Elliot calls for me from the great room. "Where you at bro?"

"Up here," I call down to him from the playroom.

"Dude, seriously," he says walking into the playroom as I'm about to walk out the door.

"What the fuck, man? Why are you in her? Wait does this have to do with Leila? I told you to let that chick go," he says.

"Fuck Leila," I yell at him pissed off that he would mention her. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

I lead him out of the playroom and lock the door. We head downstairs to the kitchen.

"I came to check on you and to find out what that was all about last night," He says as he now sticks his head out of the fridge to look over at me. "You got pizza. Did Mrs. Jones make this for you?"

I nod

He takes the pizza out along with two beers and brings it all over to the breakfast bar.

"I'm going to marry her," He declares as he takes a bite of Ms Jones' pizza. "Kate can't cook worth a shit."

"Kate," I say raising an eyebrow. He grins at me with a mouth full of pizza.

"She tried to microwave oatmeal this morning. How do you fuck up instant oatmeal? But damn she's a tigress. I may have to rent out that room of yours up there," He jokes.

"It's all yours. I won't need it for awhile," I tell him and he gives me a worried look.

"Alright lay it on me," he says as he puts down the pizza and positions himself to listen to me. "Let your big brother work it out."

I have to laugh. As a kid whenever I had a problem I couldn't handle, I would go to him and he would say that to me. I would relax knowing that he would most certainly work it out for me. Most of the time it meant taking the blame for something I did wrong or helping keep it a secret from mom and dad. Unfortunately, my big brother can't fix this one for me.

"Two words: Anastasia Steele," I tell him and he frowns in thought

"Anasta….Ana? Jake's Ana," he says and I roll my eyes.

"You two hooked up? But I thought you only did the kinky submissive girlfriend thing…hold the fuck up…. are you telling me that that cute little thing is into that shit?"

"Elliot," I say to him, not dignifying him with an answer either way.

"It's always the quiet ones. It's always the fucking quiet ones," he says in disbelief.

"Let it go will you, " I say to him

"Does Kate know? I know she's done the kinky shit. Maybe we all could, ya know," he says nodding his head up the stairs.

"Are you fucking out of your mind," I say in disgust of him.

"Bro, for a kinky dude, you sure are a prude, or is it the sharing thing. Cause we could just.."

"Good bye Elliot," I say to him.

"Well bro, the way I see it is, if this girl has you like this, I think you should go for it. I mean look at you. All broken down and fucked up and shit. If she's got you feeling this way, hell if she's got you feeling at all, you need to grab hold of this girl," He says getting up grabbing another slice of pizza as he walks away.

"Just make sure she's worth the trouble baby bro. Laters," he yells back at me as he heads for the elevator.

...

Three weeks later

J.R's POV

Three weeks have passed since I found out that the love of my life cheated on me, if I can call it that. We haven't talked about it much. We both want to put it behind us and focus on making our relationship work again. I know we can get it back to where we were before all this happened. We were in love and happy, hell I was about to ask her to marry me. She swears she hasn't had any contact with him and I choose to believe her, especially since it was confirmed by Elliot when he, Kate, and Ana dropped by for dinner at the restaurant.

It felt good being with our friends just having a nice normal dinner, with none of the drama that happed last time we were all together. Ana has started to relax a little more with me. We are slowly but surely getting back to the way we were when we first met. I've started seeing my psychiatrist again. He wants me to ask Ana to join us for a session. I think it might be good for us. I haven't told him yet, but I've been thinking about this whole BDSM thing. I don't like the idea of Ana having to cut herself. If this BDSM shit is going to help, then I will try for her. God just the thought of it triggers memories of my time with my dad. I'm trying so hard to put that aside and do what Ana needs me to do. I know we will start to fall in love again and we are going to be stronger than ever.

Kate's POV

God, seeing those two at dinner was pure hell. I hated sitting there having to be a witness to the total bullshit that is Jacob and Ana. I know her. I can take one look at her and tell she is freaking miserable. I try to talk to her about it, but she won't say a thing as to how she really feels. I swear she has tuned into some damn stepford wife, or something. There is no emotion at all from her anymore, it's like this bastard has cloned her, and the true Ana is nowhere to be found. I am so worried about my best friend. I wish I could do something to help her.

Elliot's POV

This is just some fucked up shit all around. Jake has his head so far up his ass in denial. He can't even see the big neon sigh flashing in front of his face saying "YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS DOOMED GET OUT NOW." He pulled me aside and asked me if Ana was still seeing Christian. I mean seriously, you need me to confirm this for you. That's not telling you something dude? And fucking no, my dickhead of a brother has cut off all communication with Ana. He won't even mention her name. It's like she never happened. But what's killing me is that he has become totally withdrawn. Mia called me upset saying that she hasn't heard from him in days. He won't even come to dinner at mom and dad's anymore. Dad wanted to take the RV for a trip out last week and Christian wanted nothing to do with it. Sure he made his excuse, emergency at work and all that, but I knew the truth. I haven't seen him like this since mom first brought him home to live with us. I'm worried about my baby brother.

...

Five weeks later

Ana's POV

It's been over two months since that night at the club when everything went wrong. And that's what it is now…wrong. I've been in a fog for the last few weeks, just going through the motions, but in reality I'm numb. I'm just in survival mode. I stick to my routine: get up, go to work, come home, and pretend to be happy.

J.R is opening up to BDSM. I know he hates it, and just the fact that he is doing it only to please me makes me sink further down into this pit I've placed myself in.

Mags and my Dad came out for a visit and they were not at all happy. I thought I was hiding everything well, but they saw right through me. They saw how much weight I've lost and how depressed I seem. My dad wants me to move back to Montesano, he nearly dragged me back home with him, but I can't go back. My friends are here, my job is here, and if I was honest with myself I would say that Christian is here. But I'm not honest. I'm a coward.

I think about him all the time, I wonder if he's okay, if he's happy, if he's with someone else. I'm sure he has a new sub by now. Someone who can give him everything he deserves. I am so tempted to ask Elliot, but I'm scared to know the answer. So I keep quiet. I stay stuck.

I've lost the only thing that gave me joy. And fuck him, he was right. There is nothing like the peace of mind you get from someone who knows you and wants to be with you anyway. I lost that when I lost him. Nobody really knows me anymore. I hide away from all of them. My life is so miserable now, except when I dream of him. So that's what I mostly do now lay in bed and dream of him.

I feel J.R. get into bed with me tonight. I realize he doesn't wrap his arm around me like he use to anymore. I close my eyes and drift off. I smile when

I begin to dream….

The room is dark; I know it's Mr. Grey's playroom. I feel calm because he is with me. 

But we are not alone.

"Is she sure of her safe words?" he asks him.

Who is he talking to?

"What are your safe words?" The stranger demands of me.

"Yellow and red" I don't say sir because I am confused as to who I'm talking to.

"Are you ready sweetheart?" the stranger asks. 

Suddenly everything becomes clear. 

I am tied to Saint Andrew's cross. Mr. Grey is the Dom, but he is not my Dom, he is J.R's.

He is commanding him to hit me. 

J.R. raises his hand above his head and I can see what he's preparing to hit me with. I gasp in fear.

It's a barbed wire cane. 

I look at J.R and I try to speak, but there is a ball gag pulled too tight in my mouth.

I shake my head trying desperately to tell him not to hit me.

But then he does. 

He brings the cane down and it cuts hard and deep into my skin. 

It hurts. 

I don't like it. It's not right. Something is not right. 

Tears begin to fall down my face as I shake my head no. But he doesn't acknowledge me. It's like he doesn't even see me.

I quickly turn my head to get Mr. Greys attention, but it's not Mr. grey anymore. 

It's Mr. Reilly. 

Mr. Reilly is J.R's. Dom.

Oh God, no. I start to panic. I can't breathe. 

Mr. Reilly walks over to me. I begin to fight against my restraints desperate to be free. 

I have to save us from this. I can't let this happen to J.R. I can't let this happen to us. 

If I could just get free, I know I could stop this from happening.

Mr. Reilly leans in to whisper in my ear. 

"Is this what you want from my boy, Ana?" I shake my head no.

No this is not what I want at all.

I don't want him to be like this. This is not who he is.

The cane comes down on my skin once again and I can feel the blood begin to flow down my legs. My skin is hanging in shreds.

"My boy is making me proud and I have you to thank for this, Ana.

Are you ready for your reward?" Mr. Reilly sneers as he brings his hand to my throat and presses hard, cutting off my air. 

I failed us. I wasn't strong enough to set us free.

I look at J.R. and I whisper I'm sorry right before everything goes black.

"Ana, sweetheart, wake up!" I hear J.R. call out to me and suddenly I can breathe again. I can move.

My eyes spring open and land on the face of a very concerned J.R.

I sit straight up and I gasp for air.

I tumble out of bed and race to the bathroom.

I rush head first to the toilet to throw up.

J.R. Is a step behind me.

"Sweetheart, what's the matter? Are you hurt? Are you sick?" he questions as he holds my hair back while I empty my stomach.

We sit there for a while on the floor of the bathroom. J.R. has me wrapped in his arms and I lean my head on his chest. I wrap my arms around him hold and hold on for dear life as it finally hits me hard.

I have to let him go.

I take a deep breath

"J.R., There is something that I have to tell you." I begin

"Ana what is it?" J.R. asked sitting us upright on the floor.

"First. You know I love you, and I always will….but this…. What we're doing is wrong. I know deep down you know it too." I tell him gently

"What are you saying Ana? Are you breaking up with me?" he asks

I nod my head yes

"I'm just saying the words, but I think we've been drifting apart for a long time and neither one of us want to admit it."

"No, Ana that's not true" he says shaking his head

"Yes it is. We've been so busy pretending that everything is okay, but it's not. You and me…we found each other at a very difficult time in our lives. We were dealing with so much pain from your father and my mother..and…I think we just clung to each other and we've been hanging on ever since." I tell him

"So what are you saying that..what?" he looks at me confused.

I feel horrible that I'm choosing the middle of the night to tell him what I should have told him months ago.

"J.R." I say

"You don't love me?" he asks

"Of course I love you, but can you honestly say that we are in love with each other anymore?" I ask him

"Yes, I can say that I'm in love with you. I want you to be my wife, Ana." He says getting up and turning away from me.

I take a deep breath to say the truth that I've hidden from him, and myself. And as I prepare to take this step, my heart is aching for the one person who knew it to be true even before I did.

"J.R., I can't marry you, because…..I don't love you the way that I should….the way that you deserve to be loved by a would be wife. I'm in love with the idea of love. The fantasy, the one I've dreamed about since I was a kid, but never got. You deserve more than that. You deserve someone who wants to be with only you and not someone who wants to be….with someone else.

"Christian Grey? Is that what this is about? You're still seeing him?" he asks angry

"No! I haven't seen him since the night at the club." I tell him honestly.

"How far did it go with him, for you to be in love with him it must have been more than just fooling around?" he asks

"J.R, please." I shake my head and go to stand near him.

"Tell me! I deserve to know!" he yells

"I'm still a virgin J.R. but …..It was more than just fooling around." I tell him "J.R.?"

I reach for him but he pushes me away and runs his hand through his hair.

"You are such a fucking liar! We're you always like this and I just didn't see it? You know what FUCK YOU ANA! FUCK YOU!" he yells

"J.R please" I whisper

"Better yet why don't you go and not fuck with Christian, or whatever the hell you all do. But I'll tell you what, when he's done using your ass, don't come crawling back to me, because I'm done with the likes of you! I'll be back while you're at work to get my things." He says walking away from me.

"J.R. you don't have to go tonight. It's late..." I try and reason with him.

"I don't want to be here another minute with you Ana." He says leaving the bathroom.

I stand there in that bathroom looking in the mirror at a girl I don't even recognize any more. I stand there listening for J.R as he walks out the front door. After a moment I head to the bedroom. There in the mess of clothes he left in his rush to leave, I see my engagement ring abandoned on the dresser. I fall to my knees and cry. I'm sad for what I just lost, but mostly I'm relieved to be done with all the lies and deception that I created all because I was afraid to see myself for who I am. Now J.R. and I can have a chance at finding what we need to be happy.


	19. Enter Jack Hyde

Addicted To Love

Chapter 19

Enter Jack Hyde

Ana's POV

I haven't really left the apartment since J.R. and I broke up a few days ago. There isn't any one to go out with anyway.

Elliot joined Kate's family in Barbados and from there the two of them are meeting up with the Greys in Paris to spend some time with Mia. I didn't ask if Christian was going to Paris too. I assumed he would since his whole family is going.

I've dumped the dead weight that is Julie. Elliot told Kate that bitch went after both J.R. and Christian the night of the Mile High Club. That skank whore has no shame.

Anyway, Kate has really fallen for Elliot, I think. She never has allowed anyone she's seeing to meet her family. This is by far the longest relationship she's been in. She usually gets bored pretty quickly, but looks like Katherine Kavanagh has finally met her match. She often calls and checks in on me. She asks me how things are going with J.R. I tell her everything is going fine. I don't want to spoil what should be a happy vacation for her with my drama.

Sitting here Bored now, I grab my laptop. I ended up googling Christian. I couldn't stop myself. I guess I just wanted to see him. There he was at a high-end restaurant looking like he was having the time of his life smiling proudly at some woman, Ros Bailey, her name is. According to the caption, they work together and were out celebrating. They seemed very comfortable with each other, not like simple co workers at all. If she was any closer, she would be sitting in his lap. The photo captures Taylor off in the distance and even he's smiling at her.

I really couldn't get a good look at her from the photo and being the gluten I am for punishment, I had to Google her. My heart sank when I saw her. She is gorgeous.

She's, according to the GEH website, Christian's VP. So not only is she beautiful, but smart and driven as well. There is no way I can compete with her. So much for waiting for me. Not that I blame him at all for moving on. I turn off my laptop and sincerely wish them well.

…

"Ana, do you have that letter ready to send off," Mr. Hyde asks yelling out to me from his desk. Why the man won't pick up the phone is beyond me.

"Yes, I have it for your approval, Mr. Hyde," I say walking into his office.

"You know there is a telephone within arm's reach of you. You could always call me and save your voice."

"Why waste time when I can just yell," he says looking over the letter.

"Looks good love, thanks," he hands it back to me.

"No problem." I tell him "Are you ready for lunch?"

"Sure just order me whatever it is your getting." He says as he types away on his computer.

Working for Jack Hyde has been incredible. He has really taken me under his wing. He allows me to shadow him and to sit in on all of his meeting with clients, department heads, and even upper management. I sit right next to him and observe all the things that I would otherwise never get to be a part of.

I can't believe that I had misjudged him so harshly. I could have sworn he was trying to get me into bed, or that he offered me this job with some ulterior motive, but that's proven to not be the case. He's been a pretty cool boss. I'm glad I got past his initial creepiness.

Mr. Hyde and I are sitting in his office after lunch going over which authors he needs to meet with next week.

"Alright Ana, Lets give it a few more hours, and then head out early." Mr. Hyde says looking at his watch "I'm sure you have plans tonight."

"Actually I don't." I tell him sadly

"But its Friday?" he says

"And as pathetic as it sounds, it's just me and a bottle of wine tonight." I tell him.

"Wow, that's depressing. We'll go out tonight, have some dinner. Maybe find a bar" He says

"Oh no. Mr. Hyde, really." I say

"Ana, I'm not letting you stay home all by yourself. It's just dinner." He says

"Okay" I say after a minute "As long as it's not my ex's restaurant, I'm game."

He laughs in agreement. I give him my address to pick me up there around 8. Call me crazy, but I'm actually looking forward to going.

…..

I wake up the next morning to an awful sound. I drag myself out of bed. I look down realizing that I am still fully clothed. I don't even remember coming home. My head feels like it's about to explode when I hear that awful sound again. I follow to see where it's coming from.

I make my way to the kitchen to see Jack Hyde at the counter trying to work my blender.

What the hell?

"Jack?" I call to him

"Ah good, you're awake." He says starting the blender up once again.

"No. please stop that" I tell him. The sound is much closer now and it's killing my head.

How the hell did I get hung over? I don't even remember drinking.

"Wa...What are you doing here?" I ask him

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I figured you'd be hurting after last night. So I thought I'd fix you this." He says pouring the awful smelling red liquid in a glass. I take one whiff of it and almost vomit.

"What the hell is that?" I ask pushing it away

"It's a blend of tomato juice, ginger, bananas…" he explains but I shake my hand at him to please stop. "Guaranteed to cure hangover."

"I don't remember drinking." I tell him

"You don't? You don't remember climbing on the bar? Taking your top off? Twirling it over your head singing Free Bird?" he smiles at the memory

WHAT?! NO WAY!

I shake my head no as he nods his yes.

"I just brought you home a few hours ago. I was going to leave this in your fridge. But since you're up." He pushes it back towards me "Drink up."

I take a sip and put it back on the counter as he turns to leave. He grabs his jacket and heads for the front door.

"Um thanks for, everything, I guess." I tell him

"No problem, it was fun. Now get some sleep. I'll see you on Monday." He says leaving.

I dump the drink take some Advil and head off to bed

...

Christian's POV

Damn Ros for dragging me out to that damn restaurant. Is she going to celebrate every fucking milestone she has with Ridgewood Dynamics. I'm glad the company is now doing well but we have other business we need to attend to.

Although, I do realize she is using it as an excuse to get me out. It's her attempt at getting me out of the "funk" she's convinced I've been in lately. I have no idea what she's referring to. I don't think I've suddenly become impossible to work with. I've always been demanding. It's not my fault that Andrea runs to her in tears every damn minute. She needs to do her damn job right. I hate over emotional woman.

And of course someone gets a picture of us, and I swear they picked the most inappropriate time to take it. Looks like Ros is all over me. I wonder if she has to explain that to Gwen. Damn vultures will do anything to keep the rumor mill running. Why people have nothing better to do than to follow me around is beyond my comprehension.

I haven't reached out to Ana, the last I heard from Elliot, she was trying to make it work with the boyfriend. He swears up and down I should reach out to her, because there is no way that she's happy. But I won't interfere with her life again.

I don't want to force her to choose me, only to have her wonder if she made the right choice later. As much as it kills me to let her go, I am determined to respect her choice. I admit, I've been very tempted to put Sawyer back on her, just to make sure she's okay, ultimately I decided against it. I would just be punishing myself by invading her life that way.

So I stay away.

I still am keeping an eye on SIP, though. I know it's her dream to work and grow in that company, but it's in trouble. Management is running it into the ground. I'll buy it myself before I allow it to fail, at least I can do that much.

...

Ana's POV

So Jack and I have been hanging out together for the last few weekends. He's actually pretty fun to be around….Who knew?

But now it's Monday morning and I barely make it to work on time. I literary have to drag myself to my desk. And who do I see once I get there? Mr. Chipper himself, Jack Hyde. How the hell does he look so refreshed and rejuvenated when I feel like hammered shit? I use to party much harder than this with Kate and I've never felt nowhere near this bad.

"Good morning, Jack. Would you like some coffee?" I ask entering his office.

"No thanks, doll, I already got some. Check your email I inboxed you the latest chapters from Judd McGraw. Read it over and tell me what you think." He says.

I nod and head to my desk

"Ana Steele" I answer my ringing office phone.

"Ana?" Mags calls to me so hysterical I can barely make out what she's saying.

After I get her to calm down a little, she tells me dad has been in an accident. The doctors need to speak to me because I am his next of kin. I need to make the medical decisions for him since he has no Advance Directive on file.

I get off the phone with her and head for Jack. He takes one look at me and insists on driving me to Montesano, telling me I'm in no condition to drive that far alone. I don't waste time arguing with him because I know he's right.

We race to the hospital and I rush to my dad's side. I don't know how my legs are carrying me. I am in a tailspin….a free fall. The most important person in my life is fighting for his and I have no idea what to do or where to turn.


	20. Desperate Times…Desperate Measures

Addicted To Love

Chapter 20

Desperate Times…Desperate Measures

Ana's POV

Jack left about an hour ago, after making sure I was okay and bringing in some food for Mags and me while we waited for word on dad. I can't thank him enough for all he's done. I never would have thought the man I couldn't get away from fast enough when we first met, would be someone who I've come to depend on.

Dad was coming home from a fishing trip when he was hit by a drunk driver. The friend he was with managed to call for help before succumbing to his own injuries. The paramedics said that dad was talking for a while on the ride to the hospital, but then he began to complain of severe pain in his chest and stomach. By the time they made it to the E.R. he was unconscious.

We are in the waiting room at the Intensive care unit. Dad was rushed into surgery just moments after I got here.

Now I'm being bombarded with paper work. I have to consent to treat for things I didn't even know existed.

"Does he have insurance? Does he want to be put on a Ventilator?"

Do you want us to resuscitate him if he stops breathing or goes into cardiac arrest?"

YES! YES! AND FUCKING YES! DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO SAVE HIM!

Hours later he is brought out of surgery and put into a small room in ICU. We are outside being updated on his condition by the surgeon. His spleen ruptured. They were monitoring it at first but when he showed signs of internal bleeding, they had to go in and repair it. He had a collapsed lung which they reinflated before surgery. He is stable now but the next few days will be the most critical.

As the doctor talks about his condition, I look through the observation window at my dad. The man I always saw as larger than life now looks so small and helpless lying in that bed, pale with all of the tubs, wires, and monitors around him. I'm trying so hard to hold it together and to be strong for him, but it is taking everything in me not to ball up on the floor and cry.

I called my mother to let her know. I was so hysterical over the phone, I scared myself. She and Bob are flying in from Georgia on the next flight out. They want to be here to support me.

Mags is also a mess. I know she and my mom are not the best of friends. I don't want to put any more stress on her than what she is already under, but I really need my mom here to support me. I dare not call Kate. I know she would be on the first plane back, her family and the Greys be damned, and that's the last thing I want her to do right now.

…

"Ana, honey how you are? How's Ray doing," Mom and Bob ask as they come into the waiting room hugging me and Mags.

"He's still not out of the woods yet, we have to just wait and see," I told them. "Thanks for coming, I really appreciated it. I say to them while hugging my mom much too tightly."

"Oh honey, I know how much you love your dad, I want to be here to support you through this. Now we all know Raymond Steele is as strong and mule headed as they come. He'll be up grumbling around here soon enough," My mom says more trying to convince herself than the rest of us. I know a big part of her still loves my dad and wishes things could have been different for them.

Bob takes Mags over to the cafeteria to get something to eat while my mom sits and waits with me.

"So, how are things with you," my mom asks patting my hand.

"Mom, I've made such a mess of everything. I loved J.R. I still do, but he and I..we just..it wouldn't have worked. We wanted different things. I just wish I could have figured that out sooner before I lost…. someone I really care about. And now with dad hurt and…I don't know," I tell her

"Ana," mom says to me with a sigh. "You know I loved your dad, right?"

I nod my head yes

"We tried…. I really tried to be what he wanted me to be. For so long I felt guilty because I thought love should be enough, but it wasn't. After a while your dad and I…. we became resentful of each other and the mess of a marriage we created and then held onto for so long.

Before we divorced, our relationship was so very toxic. But now he and I both realize that the best thing we did for each other was letting go, so that we could find true happiness. And we both have.

I think that's what you did with Jacob. Be proud that you had the strength to let it go now before it became too much. There is life after lost love. Sometimes it's even a better one."

"Thanks Mom. I know you're right. I just have so many regrets that I have to live with," I tell her

"Oh, honey I know all about that trust me. Now as far as this other 'someone' is concerned, who says it can't be fixed? I mean if he means something to you, then it's worth a shot right," She says hugging and kissing me.

"Well I better go and rescue Maggie, I'm sure Bob is talking her ear off by now," she says heading out to the cafeteria.

…

It's been a week since dad's accident. A day after his surgery, he suffered a stroke and now has partial paralysis on his left side. He is awake but he is still kind of out of it. Not at all like himself anymore.

He will face months of rehabilitation that is if, he makes it that far. I know my dad is strong but how much can a body take?

Mom and Bob had to return to Georgia this morning for work. I will have to start commuting back and forth from Seattle on the weekdays for work and back to Montesano on the weekends.

Jack has agreed for me to leave early every Friday to make the drive. He constantly asks about how my dad is and even offers to do anything he can to help. I'm just grateful he is so understanding.

Mags and I are worried now because dad's insurance has run out and he was transferred to a county hospital. He is not getting the care he needs to recover from his stroke. I want to move him to a rehab center in Seattle but I can't handle the cost of the transfer let alone the cost of the actual rehab.

Mags has put the house on the market, since my dad is no longer able to work they are going to lose it anyway. I told Mags to come and live with me, but of course she doesnt want to be that far from dad. My mom and Bob are giving us what they can, but it's nowhere near enough. My heart breaks at the fact that he is deteriorating right before my eyes. He is getting weaker and weaker and all we can do is watch. I am useless to him when he needs me the most.

….

"Ana?" Jack calls me from his office,"Can you come in here for a minute please?"

I walk into his office and sit down

"The North American Book Expo is being held in New York City next Friday. You and I are scheduled to attend. We will arrive on Thursday stay overnight and leave Friday evening. I know you will enjoy it, it's a way for publishers and new or would be authors to met. It's a great way to get your feet wet," He says smiling at me.

"That's great Jack, shall I make the travel and hotel arrangements," I ask him

"No it's already been taken care of. The information has been emailed to us. We will leave next Thursday morning 7am," He says.

I nod and leave the office to check my email.

….

New York City is amazing. It's everything I thought it would be. I'm glad we arrived early. Jack checked us into our hotel rooms before taking me on a little sightseeing tour.

"Jack this place is great," I say now looking around at the hotel restaurant.

While we are waiting for our food to arrive, I call and check in with Mags. I am sad to hear that there is still no improvement with my dad.

"Ana," Jack calls to me. "How is your dad doing?"

"Not too good I'm afraid Jack, he needs extensive therapy, but its not posible right now," I tell him leaving out the part where I am too poor and useless to help my own father.

"Well Ana, that's one of the things I've been meaning to talk to you about. I think I can help you out with your problem. I have a proposition for you," he tells me.

"About my dad, what kind of proposition," I ask now curious

"Well you see, Ana, I am a very busy man. Much too busy to even date, let alone find a girlfriend," He says as he takes a sip of wine.

"What I'm proposing is that you be my companion… of sorts. You will be required to attend dinners, charity events, and functions such as this," he says waving his hand around the room.

"I don't understand, how is this helping my dad," I ask confused

"Well of course, I will pay you for your time. One thousand dollars per date," He says

"What! How could you possibly afford that," I ask him

"I have money Ana," He says simply

"You want to pay me to spend time with you," I ask

He nods

"To be your companion and accompany you on dates? Nothing more? Are you expecting me to have sex with you, Jack," I ask

"Ana..." he starts and I interrupt him now knowing that is exactly what he wants.

"Jack, I am not a whore. I may be desperate for money, but I am not going to sell myself for it. If my father knew I was even considering such a thing he would be devastated. I think it's time I go up to my room. Excuse me Jack," I say getting up to leave.

"Ana, I want you. Don't make this more difficult than it has to be. Don't make this into something nasty. The way I see it, it's a win win for the both of us. I get you and you get to help your father. We've hung out before and we've had fun, right? It won't be any different than that, just a little spice thrown in. Why is it so wrong," he asks

"I am not going to sleep with you for money Jack," I tell him

"It can be just straight sex Ana, no BDSM. Well, unless you want it," he whispers as he takes my hand and I nearly vomit at the image.

"NO," I yell at him snatching my hand away

"You don't have to decide anything now, the last thing I want to do is make this trip unpleasant for you. Let's put it on the back burner for now as something to consider and enjoy the rest of our trip," He says

"I'm going to my room. I'll see you at the expo tomorrow,"I tell him.

…

Back in Seattle now and I am avoiding Jack Hyde like the plague. He has been very professional with me. He hasn't broached the conversation we had in New York., but I know he's just waiting and biding his time until I fall and he gets me right where he wants me.

That time comes sooner than I expected when the doctor calls with some devastating news. My dad's window for effective therapy is now closing. His muscles are beginning to atrophy. If therapy isn't started soon, it will no longer be beneficial to him and he will be paralyzed for the rest of his life.

I sit in my living room broken. I think about all of the times my dad has helped me through the years. He sacrificed so much of his life for me, giving so much of himself to raise me. Now it's my turn to help him. I can't let him down. I sure as hell am not going to let this happen to him, not to Raymond Steele.

I pick up the phone and make my call.

"I have a proposition for you. Come over now and we can discuss it," I say to him then hang up the phone.


	21. My Heroes

Addicted To Love

Chapter 21

My Heroes

Ana's POV

I check my bank account for the second time this morning, unable to believe he agreed to my terms. Thirty thousand dollars, Jack Hyde agreed to pay me thirty thousand dollars for just one night.

I call the hospital. Dad will begin his rehab therapy there today until I can make arrangements for him to move to Seattle. The only silver lining to my black cloud is that he is now getting the therapy in time to be work. I only pray that there is no irreversible damage or at the very least he will be able to get around and care for himself.

I got an urgent message from J.R. about an hour ago saying that he needed to talk to me so I head over to his apartment. I'm really worried. He hasn't spoken to me since we broke up, so something has to really be wrong.

I arrive at his apartment and ring the door bell. I'm checking my watch as I wait because I don't want to be late for work. The door swings open. There stands Julie wrapped in a bath robe fresh out of the shower. J.R. is standing half dressed behind her. The look on my face at the sight of her most have been very funny because she doesn't even try to hide her laughing at my expense.

Oh great, just fucking great! This is the last thing I needed to see today.

Without a word a turn and walk away. J.R. calls after me as he follows me back to my car.

"Ana hang on a second, please." He says walking behind me while putting on his T-shirt.

"Julie," I scream at him as I turn around and stomp my foot. "Out of all the women you can have, you pick that slut?!"

"You are a piece of work, you know that," he says angry "You cheat on me, break up with me, and now you have the nerve to come here and by angry?"

"First of all, I didn't 'cheat on you' to cheat on you…" I begin

"Whatever your stupid reason, I don't care to hear it again," he yells.

"You called me. You said it was urgent! I thought something was wrong," I say to him.

"I didn't expect you to come over, I meant for you to call me," he shrugs. "Anyway, I got an alert from the bank this morning. There was a deposit in our account. When I checked it, there was a shit load of money. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?" he asked. Judging me now like I just did him.

Damn! I forgot we shared accounts!

"Sorry I forgot we shared accounts," I tell him that and nothing more.

"Its fine I let the bank know it's not my account anymore, so the alerts should stop," He says "So Christian really is generous huh?"

"What does that suppose to mean," I ask him pissed off now.

"Well who else can give you that much money," he accuses me.

"Not that it's any of your damn business anymore, but I haven't seen or heard from Christian since that night at Mile High," I yell at him.

I begin to walk away again and he grabs my arm to swing me back around.

"Wait a minute, if he didn't give you the money, what gives, Ana, and don't bullshit me," he says "That's a shit load of money, what the fuck is going on?"

I tell him everything about my dad's accident, the money, and about what I have to do tonight with Jack.

"You can't be fucking serious, Ana," He tells me as I walk away.

"Wait! What about Christian? You can ask him for help. I'm no fan of the guy, but…" he says but I interrupt him.

"No! I can't go to him now. He's moved on, like you, and besides I already spent some of the money. I can't back out now," I begin to walk again.

"Wait, sweethea….Ana don't do this, please! Let me help you," he begs.

"No! I've already decided. Look I've got to get to work J.R. I can't be late. I'm sorry about the account and everything else. Just don't worry about me, okay, go back to Julie and be happy...okay, please," I beg of him and I leave.

...

J.R's POV

I'm doing this for Ana. I'm doing this for Ana. Just keep telling yourself that and you'll be fine. 

I chant this all the way to the entrance of the damn GEH building.

I tried to forget about what Ana told me this morning. After all she's a grown woman very capable of making her own decisions. And to be honest it's no longer my business anyway. At least that's what the hurt, jealous part of me wants to believe.

But the other part, that just months ago wanted to make her my wife, knows better than that. And that's the part I'm listening to know as I make my way to the receptionist desk to see Christian Grey.

I approach two very attractive blondes and one asks me if she can be of help to me. I ignore my dirty mind as I tell her who I'm here to see.

"Do you have an appointment Sir," she asks me.

"No I don't but I'm an old friend of his Jacob Reilly. It's very urgent that I speak to him about a mutual…..friend," I tell her.

"One moment sir, I will check to see if he is available," She smiles at me politely as she picks up her phone. Her smile quickly turns sour as she listens intently.

"Um sir, Mr. Grey asks that you have a sit and he will have someone with you shortly," She says as she directs me to the waiting area.

I sit down and check the time on my phone.

Great, Ana will be off of work soon and I'm wasting time with this jackass. 

I try to call Ana's cell but she doesn't answer.

I look up to see Mr. Buzz Cut himself coming toward me and I fake a smile.

"Mr. Reilly. I'm Jason Taylor, Mr. Grey's personal security. He asked me to come and speak with you," he says.

Son of a bitch!

"Look will you tell Your Majesty that it is urgent that I speak with him about Anastasia Steele. She's in trouble and she needs his help," I yell in frustration.

After a moment, he leads me to the elevators and we head to the top floor where we pass two more blondes and now I'm beginning to wonder about this guy.

I follow Taylor as we enter the office to find Grey sitting casually behind his desk.

Only Anastasia Rose Steele would get me to go into enemy territory to get her help.

"Look," I begin wanting to get this over quick and clear my conscience. "I need to talk to you about Ana."

"You needn't concern yourself with me and Anastasia any longer. I haven't spoken to her…" he says and I interrupt him

"I know, since the Mile High Club.," I say throwing up my hands up. "That's not why I'm here. Look Ana's in trouble."

And that gets his attention. Suddenly he's all business.

"Taylor," he nods for the door and Taylor exists.

He motions for me to sit down and begin.

"Okay, see her dad, Raymond Steele, he was recently in a car accident and he had some complications. He needs therapy, expensive therapy. Ana made a….shit... Ana's boss paid her thirty grand to sleep with him tonight so that she can help her dad. She agreed."

Nothing! He says nothing!

"What the hell man? Have you heard a word I said? Ana Is about to give it up to some jackass who's…." I begin and he interrupts me

"YOU ARE HER FUCKING BOYFRIEND! WHERE THE HELL WHERE YOU WHEN ALL THIS SHIT WAS GOING ON," He yells.

"I'm not her boyfriend. She broke up with me months ago," I tell him. "I just found this shit out this morning completely by accident. If it wasn't for the bank.."

"She broke up with you," he asked looking thoroughly confused.

I nod my head in surprise.

"She didn't tell you," I ask and he shakes his head no. "Apparently she realized that she and I are not right for each other, or some shit." I add to save face.

"Look I don't know why she didn't tell you. I don't know why that girl does half the shit she does. She mentioned that you had moved on so maybe that's why," I tell him.

"What? No," he says before catching himself.

"So you do still care about her," I ask but he says nothing.

"Okay fine whatever, but are you just going to sit here while she goes and fucks this Jack Hyde guy for money? Because if thats the case then let me know now so I can go and figure out another way to stop this," I tell him now frustrated.

He says nothing

"For crying out loud! There's not a lot of time. This shit is going down tonight! Do you know how much fucking pride I had to swallow to come into GEH and tell you this shit…," I rant on.

"Will you shut the fuck up for five fucking minutes," he hisses at me as he picks up the phone.

"Taylor! Get in here and bring Sawyer with you," he demands.

Two men that I wouldn't want to be on the business end of enter the room.

"Sawyer, Ms Steele is at SIP now, I need you to reclaim your position as her…CPO. I want hourly updates on her. Even if you have to phone her to make sure she is at her desk. Do it," he barks out.

"I'm on it MR. Grey," Sawyer says and leaves to follow orders.

He turns to Taylor and Quickly fills him in.

…..

Ana's POV

"Thank you Jack," I say as he pulls my chair out for me to sit down. "I don't understand why we're here when we should be at work. People are going to talk."

"As far as management is concerned, you and I left a little early to meet with a potential author. No one else matters," He says as he studies the menu.

I take a minute to look around at this over priced restaurant and frown.

"Why are we here," I ask.

"Because I like to eat before I fuck, Ana. May as well make it a good meal. I think i'll have the steak," He says leering over at me and turning my stomach.

"A good meal wasn't part of the deal Jack and neither was dragging me out of work," I tell him.

"Ana, I just paid thirty thousand dollars for you. I will have you, when I want you," he says.

"What the hell does that suppose to mean? The deal was one time Jack," I remind him.

"Do you really think I'm going to let you go," he says.

"I'm not giving you a choice! God I can't believe I was going…what the hell I was thinking," I get up to leave. "I'll give you your money back Jack, every penny. I'll find another way. The deal is off."

"I wouldn't leave if I were you Ana," He says and something in the way he says it makes me stop dead in my tracts and sit back down.

He pulls out a thick envelope and throws it at me, I gasp in horror as I examine its contents.

…

Christian's POV

I can't fucking believe. I can't fucking believe that this fucker is in my office telling me that my Anastasia broke up with him MONTHS AGO! Why didn't she tell me? All these months Anastasia and I could have been together freely without guilt.

All she's been through with her father and she turns to that fucker Hyde. FUCK! I should have called her. I should have checked. I should have made sure she was okay.

I am a fucking Idiot! Never again baby, never again, I swear.

I send Sawyer to Ana and quickly fill Taylor in on the situation.

"Taylor…." Just as I am about to tell him to take the rest of the day off because I don't want him involved in what I have to do, my phone rings.

"Grey," I answer. "What! How long ago? Have you located the car? No! Interfere if you have to. Do not let her leave with Hyde. I'm on my way. Let's go" I say to the boyfriend as I head to the elevator. He along with Taylor is a step behind me

"Not you Taylor," I say stepping onto the elevator

"Sir? It's not a good idea for you to be without security," Taylor says pissed off.

"Noted," I tell him as the doors close.

The boyfriend, Correction...The EXboyfreind and I race to the restaurant where Sawyer has tracked Ana's car. From what he can tell by his vantage point, she is not cooperating with Hyde willingly.

Just hang on baby, I'm coming for you.

…

Ana's POV

Photos! Photos of me in different stages of undress. Photos of me naked. Photos of me draped over a naked man. His face is not shown but I know its Jack.

Oh god I'm going to be sick. 

I reach for my water and gulp it down in an effort to calm my panic attack and upset stomach.

"When…" I whisper confused. "How…?

"Oh those weekends we went out together. We didn't exactly say good night at the door," He winks at me.

It becomes clear. The times I was feeling like shit after going out with Jack.

"You drugged me," I say as more of a realization then a question. And he grins as he cuts into his steak

"Did we…did you," I whisper unable to finish the question.

"Oh now Ana, you hurt my feelings honey, I would never do that without your knowledge or consent," He says.

"Oh my god no," I say getting up and quickly moving toward the door.

Did I consent? No, I couldn't consent. He drugged me.

Before I could make it through the door Jack grabs my arm hard and pulls me aside.

"NOW THINK ANA," he says as I try to struggle free. He takes his steak knife and presses it into my side.

Oh God, he's going to kill me

"What do you think you're going to accomplish by turning me down? Huh? I have everything I need to ruin you before you even get off the ground. Those pictures where tame compared to the others, not to mention that little gem of a video I managed to get done before you passed out.

I will have pictures and video of that body of yours plastered on every porn site in this country. I will use every connection. I will taint you for every publishing company you think of working for. No one will touch you after I'm done.

You may as well lay down and die like your father in that hospital bed because that's what's going to happen to him if you don't take this deal. You know that as well as I do. So what's it going to be Ana? Is being with me so bad compared to that?"

I stop struggling against him and resign myself to my fate.

"I knew you were a smart girl, Ana. Now let's go," he says grabbing my arm. He keeps the knife at my side as he leads me out the front door of the restaurant.

We make it outside to the walk way when all hell breaks loose. It all happens so fast.

I hear J.R and he's arguing with Jack. I think he yells that Jack has a knife. He pulls Jack away from me but it's happening like it's in slow motion..like I'm trapped in quick sand that I can't move out of.

But then I look over and I see Christian…Mr. Grey...he's here.

No! No! He can't be here.

I stand frozen with my eyes toward the ground. I dare not look at him.

Why? Why is here. Why is he here with Jacob?

….

Christian's POV

Suddenly all hell breaks loose as we see Jack Hyde lead Ana onto the walk way. Sawyer Is out of his car and hauling ass over to Ana.

I pull up onto the curb and the ex boyfriend and I jump out. He heads straight to Hyde pushing him away from Ana. She is now standing still with her head lowered down. She is in a submissive stance and I don't know if it's because of me or whatever it is that that fucker Hyde has done to her.

I take one look at her and know that something is not right with her.

"Anastasia," I approach her slowly but she doesn't acknowledge me.

The EXboyfreind and Hyde are going at it while Sawyer is trying to gain control of both of them. A crowd has gathered in front of the restaurant and somewhere I hear the threat of the police being called. I know I need to get my girl out of here.

"Anastasia, come with me," I ask her gently holding out my hand to her. But she still doesn't move. She shakes her head no.

"Ana," Hyde calls her name making her jump. Now I know whatever this is, it's because of Hyde.

What the fuck has that bastard done to her?

I look over and see Sawyer holding on to the EXboyfreind to stop him from attacking Hyde.

"I will ruin you Ana! I own you! You prick teasing whore," he yells.

She begins to cry

"SHUT HIM THE FUCK UP," I yell and that's all the incentive the EXboyfreind needs before he punches Sawyer, knocking him out cold and then goes for Hyde.

"Anastasia baby, let me get you out of here okay? I need you to come with me." I tell her more urgently now because I can hear the sirens in the distance.

"Mr. Grey," she finally looks up at me with those baby blue eyes and I catch my breath. All the life that was sucked out of me when she left, enters my body with such force, it nearly breaks me.

"I can't," she says shaking her head no. "He has….he'll hurt me."

"No baby, I won't let him. I promise," I tell her.

"Baby, please. Trust me," I hold out my hand to her again "Let's go home, baby. Take my hand, Anastasia, please." I beg her.

Finally she does. I feel her small warm hand in mine and I grab hold. I pull her into me and hold her tight, with no fear of her touch. I bury my nose in her hair and inhale deeply letting her body mold once again into mine.

"I'm never letting you go again. I'm never letting you go, do you hear me," I whisper to her.

She buries her head in my chest and nods her head yes. Her arms tighten around me when Jack Hyde starts threatening her again.

The sound of the sirens are closer now and I know I need to get her out of here. I search for the keys to the SUV and I can't find them.

Fuck!

Just moments before the police arrive, a SUV pulls up. I'm relieved to see Taylor hop out. He yells for me to get in. I lead Ana inside the SUV.

And Damnit to hell, I head back to get the EXboyfreind. He is holding on to Hyde, preventing him from coming after Anastasia.

"Go," he says to me before I can get to him. "Get her out of her."

I look at him then turn and head back to Anastasia.

I climb in the SUV and Taylor floors it. I wrap my arms around Anastasia and pull her close, holding her as she silently cries.

I tell Taylor to call my lawyer and have him sort out the mess I just left the EXboyfreind and Sawyer in.

I hold Anastasia close, kissing the top of her head and comforting her as best I can. I need to get her home to Escala, where I can take care of her and I know she'll be safe.

"I thought I told you not to get involved. Gail would kill me if she knew I got you in that kind of trouble," I tell Taylor.

"Well Sir, she would have killed me for leaving you in that kind of trouble," Taylor counters

"You know this is insubordination? I should fire your ass," I tell him.

"Yes of course, Mr. Grey," He says smugly, trying to hide his amusement.

Arrogant Bastard


	22. Comfort Food

Addicted To Love

Chapter 22

Comfort Food

Christian's POV

Anastasia hasn't said a word to me the whole ride home. She just clings to me, tightening her grip when I make a move to let her go.

I carry her into the apartment and up the stairs to her room. She barely weighs anything. She is much too light.

God baby, when was the last time you ate?

Guilt hits me in spades when I realize that she's been dealing with her father being hurt alone all this time with no support system. Kate and Elliot are on vacation and I've been keeping my distance like a fucking idiot.

I sit her gently on the bed and kneel down in front of her.

"Hey," I whisper for her to look at me. She lifts her eyes and they stare into mine. "Are you hungry?"

She shakes her head no to my displeasure, but I smile reassuringly so not to upset her.

"Are you tired," I ask her and she nods her head yes.

She looks like she hasn't slept in days.

"Okay," I say getting up to go in search of her something to sleep in. She reaches out and accidently touches my chest. I stiffen at the surprise contact. She recoils immediately.

"I'm sorry, Sir," she begins to cry and I'm sure it's because of the pain she saw on my face.

"No, don't cry, baby I'm okay," I reassure her. "I'm going to go and find you something comfortable to sleep in okay? I'll be right back, I promise."

She nods and I kiss her on the forehead before leaving the room.

I run to my room and grab a T-shirt and a pair of my tight boxer briefs.

I go into my medicine cabinet and grab one of the mild all natural herbal sleeping pills my mother suggests I take sometimes when I have problems sleeping.

I run into Gail in the kitchen and ask her to make something simple that I can heat up later for Anastasia if she wakes up hungry. I grab a glass of water and head back upstairs.

I open the door to find her still sitting on the bed where I left her.

"Come, baby lets get you changed." I help her out of her clothes.

And damn my self-serving dick for wanting her right now. He's a selfish fucker even now. She slips on my T-shirt and boxer briefs.

I pull back the covers for her to get into bed and suddenly she comes alive.

"No Mr. Grey, I can't stay. I have to go back to Hyde," She cries.

"Absolutely not Anastasia," I calmly say to her. But inside I'm fuming at the thought.

What the fuck is she thinking?

"But…. you don't understand," She says shaking her head so worked up now she's panting her words. "He...he...has video…pic…tures…he drugged me…money...my dad...have to help …knife…"

"Shhhhh, it's okay," I scope her up in my arms. I kiss her forehead and both her cheeks in an effort to calm her down.

"It's okay, you're safe now Anastasia, he can't get to you."

"But..." she tries to explain and I shake my head to stop her.

I grab the pill and the water.

"Here take this. It's to help you sleep," I tell her.

"No, no drugs," she says shaking her head wildly.

"No baby, it's just a sleeping pill, it won't knock you out, it will just help you sleep a little. You trust me," I ask, tucking her hair behind her ears.

She nods yes without hesitation, takes the pill, and drinks the water.

"That's my good girl," I say to her as she hands me back the glass.

I help her get comfortable in bed.

"But Sir, Jack…he," She starts up again.

"Shhhhh." I kiss her on the lips to quiet her down. "Sleep, you'll feel better when you wake up. I promise."

After about an hour, she finally stops fighting it and drifts off to sleep. I kiss her lips once more, tuck her in, and head down stairs to my office.

Once my office door closes I erupt with anger. I trash my office, turning over everything that isn't nailed down.

I must have blacked out because the next things I know I'm being restrained against a wall by Taylor while Clark and Webb, the other members of my home team, stand ready to assist. Taylor is yelling something at Gail, even though he is right in front of me, I can't make out anything he's saying. It sounds like I'm under water.

I come to myself again and realize that Taylor has me by my shoulders hemmed up against the damn wall.

...

Taylor's POV

"Get the fuck off of me," Mr. Grey yells, pushing me away.

Realizing he's returned to his senses, I back off and release him.

Gail rushes over to him with the first aid kit. It wasn't until she took his hands that he noticed they were bleeding. I feel bad that once again she has to be witness to his shit.

I take a moment to check my jaw. Grey has a nasty right hook.

I look around the room assessing the damage. It looks like a bomb has gone off in here. I know for a fact he's paid a small fortune for the shit he just trashed without a second thought. Cant says I blame the guy though.

But Fuck!

He has enough sense to thank Gail and send her off for the rest of the night. She looks over at me in question and I nod my okay.

The moment she is out of earshot, Mr. Grey yells for everyone to get the fuck out of his office. Clark and Webb quickly retreat, but of course, I stay put.

I watch calmly as he starts to pace like a wild animal that's just coming out of being tranquilized.

I know where his thoughts are leading him. The same place mine would if some low life piece a shit ever threatened my Gail so much that she cowers in fear like poor Ms. Steele. I really like that girl and the thought of some bastard even attempting to hurt her makes me see red. I can only imagine how Grey must be feeling.

"I'm going to kill that fucker," he screams.

Yup that's what I thought

"Mr. Grey, let me handle Hyde, I know how to take care of such things." I begin to explain exactly how I'm going to kill that son of a bitch.

"Not literally Taylor, for fuck sakes," He interrupts shaking his head in disbelieve at me.

Well yeah, of course I knew that. 

He takes out his cell phone.

"Welch! I need you to dig deeper into Jack Hyde's past find me something I can use on that prick. Yeah I know the background check came up clean, but I'm telling you something else is there. Find it."

He hangs up and dials again.

"Ros I want SIP. Well work your magic. I don't give a damn how much it cost. GET ME THAT PUBLISHNG COMPANY! How long? No, two hours. I know what time it is. TWO FUCKING HOURS ROS," he yells looking at his watch.

He hangs up and dials again.

"Barney, Jack Hyde placed a large sum of money in Anastasia Steele's bank account earlier today. I need you to erase all evidence of that transaction. Make a dummy account that she can have access to. Just as long as he doesn't get it back, and you can't trace it back to her. Good. Raymond Steele, I need to know what hospital he's in. Get me all of his information. Yes, medical, financial, everything." He hangs up.

He dials again and I sit and watch as he controls the world from his damn cell phone.

His final call of the night was to a crew to come and sort out the mess that was his office.

By the time he's done he has Welch, Ros, Barney, a team of therapist and specialist for Raymond Steele, and the cleaning crew all up working through the night as he strolls off to bed.

"Good night Taylor," he says to me as I look at him in mock surprise when he heads up the stairs to Ms Steele's room instead of his own bedroom. "Put some ice on that jaw."

...

Christian's POV

I head upstairs to check on Anastasia in hopes that she is feeling a little more like herself. I open the door to find her lying in bed.

"Sir," my sweet girl whispers to me as I am about to leave her to sleep.

"I thought you were still sleeping," I say to her moving over to sit on the bed. I turn her lamp on and she sits up.

"I was but, when I woke up and you weren't her, I couldn't go back to sleep," She says.

"Why didn't you come downstairs and get me," I ask and she shakes her head.

"I didn't know I could…I didn't know you would want me to," she says.

"Of course I want you. You are always welcome, wherever I am," I tell her honestly as I smooth her hair. She closes her eyes and leans into my touch.

"Come on, let's go downstairs and eat a little something. I'm hungry," I tell her as I stand and wait for her to get out of bed.

She jumps up and pulls my boxer briefs back on her hips from where they slide down and exposed that cute little ass of hers.

I fight the urge to smack it and I have to chastise myself for being the horny bastard that I am.

We head downstairs and she takes a seat at the breakfast bar. I go around in search of food that Gail left for us. Once again she has me touched by her gesture. The dish she has prepared is one I request often as a comfort food. Next to mac and cheese it is my favorite.

I heat up the Chicken Stew and pour it into two warmed bread bowls.

I can practically see my girl's mouth watering as I sit the bread bowl in front of her. I grab the pitcher of peach iced tea and carry it over to the bar.

She waits just long enough for me to pour the tea and sit down before she digs in. I try to enjoy my meal as well but the moans she making as she eats is driving me fucking crazy.

My brain and my dick are now battling for control.

Finally my dick hangs in defeat, however when it sees our sweet girl glance shyly our way, realizing that she is far from ready to resume that part of our relationship again.

When we're done eating I take her back upstairs to put her to bed.

"What time is it," she asks as she reluctantly gets into bed.

"A little after 2am.," I tell her.

"Is that all? I feel like this day has gone on forever," She says.

"I know," I tell her. "Bad days tend to drag on."

"Sir, I need to tell you what happened today with Jack and everything. I need to check on my dad," She says.

"Anastasia it's late. Your body needs rest. You won't do him or yourself any good exhausted," I tell her after a moment she nods her head settles down under the covers.

"Well you sleep with me," she ask.

I shake my head no and I smile at her pout.

"I'm a rough sleeper, Anastasia," I tell her. "I have nightmares…I strike out in my sleep. If you hear….the staff knows how to handle me. I don't want you trying to help. I don't want you hurt, understand? "

"Yes Sir," She whispers not looking at me, making me not believe her.

"Promise me," I whisper.

"I promise," she yawns and snuggles down under the covers. I kiss her goodnight and head to my room.

I lay awake with feelings of nothing but contentment. I finally drift off to a peaceful sleep knowing that she is safe and sound sleeping comfortably in her bed.

...

Ana's POV

I yawn and stretch myself awake, feeling better than I've felt since the last time I was here. But then I remember Jack Hyde and what happened yesterday.

I race to the shower. I need to get the memory of Jack out of my head. I need to get clean. I strip off my clothes and step into the shower letting the hot water wash over me.

He wasn't going to let me go. He had the knife and if J.R. and Christian hadn't been there. I don't want to think about what he would have done to me.

I don't know how long I've been in here, but the water starts to cool. Christian is knocking on the door asking me if he can come in. I turn the water off, step out of the shower and tell him to come in as I wrap the bathrobe around me. I'm surprised that it's still here. I can tell it's been freshly laundered but why didn't it get put back where it belongs.

"Are you all right Anastasia," he asks and I nod my head yes, but not looking him in the eye. I don't know why I'm suddenly so shy around him.

"Come let's get you dressed," He says and leads me to back into the bedroom. He grabs the body lotion from the vanity table and motions for me to un-robe. I stand there naked as he messages lotion all over my skin. His touch is very caring and soothing.

He walks over and grabs a bag and lays out clothes for me to wear.

"You didn't have to buy me clothes," I say to him surprised by the gesture. "You've already done so much. I didn't even thank you for yesterday."

"Anastasia, you don't have to thank me. I wanted to do it. Now hurry and get dress Gail is waiting to make you breakfast. What you like?"

"Um whatever she cooks is fine," I tell him and he raises an eyebrow at me. "Oh I don't know, um pancakes? They're my favorite."

"Okay," he says. "I'm going to be in my office. I have some work to do. Are you going to be ok eating by yourself?"

And then it hits me

"Work! I need to call. I can't go in. I can't see Jack again. What am I going to do?" I ramble on realizing that I don't have my bag, or my phone.

"No need to worry. I called and told them you were ill. They are not expecting you for the rest of the week," He says.

I may as well quit now. I can't work for Jack Hyde.

"Your breakfast will be ready in about twenty minutes. Come get me in my office if you need me." he says. He gives me a quick kiss and leaves me to get dressed.

...

Christian's POV

I head downstairs in time to hear the elevator ping the arrival of Taylor, Sawyer, and the exboyfr…ahem….Reilly.

"Woohoo," Reilly says as he looks around then whistles. "So this is how the other half lives huh, Grey?"

I roll my eyes and usher them into my office.

Sawyer and Reilly fill Taylor and me in on what happened after we left. Apparently Hyde is not a fan of the police telling them that it was all a simple misunderstanding, just a couple of guys getting too rowdy. The police left without incident.

"Welch has a lead on Hyde. He taped into the employee files at SIP…" I begin.

"Tapped into the employee files? Is that legal?" Reilly interrupts.

"Completely," I fake a grin. "He's picked up on a trend. Apparently Hyde's assistants are replaced after a few months. The latest one, before Anastasia left rather abruptly. Welch is trying to track her down as we speak."

"Sawyer, I want you to stay on as her CPO none of this covert bullshit. I want you by her side at all times. I will introduce you to her later. Taylor," I say and nod toward the door letting Taylor know I want him and Sawyer to leave.

I wait until the door is closed behind them before I turn to Reilly.

"Anastasia mentioned something about being drugged," I say and watch his face as it turns to pure anger. "She also mentioned pictures and video. She was very hysterical and it was hard to make out, but I'm sure that bastard….took advantage of her."

"Son of a bitch," Reilly says getting up to pace then stops and looks at me. "Did she say he...did he have his way with her?"

I shake my head as if to say I don't know and I don't think she knows.

"I'm having a physician come and examine her, just in case," I tell him.

"How is she," he asks.

"She's not herself. She's quiet. I think she's in shock. Maybe overwhelmed by what happened to her father, on top of that add Hyde and everything else," I motion between the two of us.

"As much as I hate to say this, I don't think that bastard is going to let this go," Reilly says and I nod in agreement.

"And what about the photos and video? Ana's going to be devastated if something like that gets out. She doesn't deserve that she's never even had..." he stops but I already know what he meant.

"I'm taking care of it," I tell him and check the time. "As a matter of fact, it's being handled as we speak. And hopefully soon this clusterfuck will be behind her."

"Anastasia should be done with breakfast I'm sure she want to see you," I tell him and walk out with him a step behind me.

I find her sitting at the breakfast bar chatting with Gail. I walk up to her before she can lower her gaze I plant a kiss on her lips.

"I have a surprise for you," I tell her and watch as her face frowns in question.

Reilly comes into view and her mouth drops open in surprise.

"J.R," she yells getting up to run and hug him.

Half way to him she must have remembered herself. She stops mid way turns and heads back to me with a curbed enthusiasm.

Real smooth there baby. Way to play it off.

I can't help but laugh at this awkward situation.

"I'll leave you two alone," I tell them and head back to my office.

I shoot off an email to Andrea, letting her now to reschedule any appointments. I won't be available for the rest of the week. She knows how to get in touch with me if I'm needed.

I sit back and contemplate if I should intrude on Anastasia right now. The jealous prick that I am is screaming at me to march in there through her over my shoulder and beat my chest in victory.

The more rational part of me knows that Reilly is not a threat to us and that I have no right to keep her away from her friends, or make her feel guilty for caring about them, even if one of them is her the ex.

Who the fuck am I kidding.

Just when I make a move to get up and get her. I see her open the door and poke her head in.

...

Ana's POV

"Do you want me to leave you alone," I ask him

He shakes his head no and waves me in

"Is he gone," he asks me.

"He left a little while ago. I'm sorry Sir, I didn't meant to.." I stop not sure how to finish the sentence.

Everything seems different, undefined. I don't like not knowing where we stand. I don't know how he feels about us. If there even still is an us. Who am I know to him? Am I a friend, a Sub, a Sub in training? I don't like feeling so unsettled.

"Anastasia you don't have to apologize. I know that he means a great deal to you. To be honest, I don't like it. It makes me jealous and I don't like that feeling. But it's my problem to deal with not yours," He says.

"Thank you, Sir" I tell him knowing how hard that must be for him to admit. "Thank you for everything. But I came in to say goodbye. I need to go back to my apartment now."

"I'm sorry, Anastasia. I'm afraid that won't be possible," He tells me.


	23. My Dom Is Back

Addicted To Love

Chapter 23

My Dom Is Back

Ana's POV

"What do you mean," I ask him confused. "I need to get home. I need check on my dad and then there's Jack, I have to get him his money and…"

"Anastasia I already took care of it, your father is being transferred to a rehab facility here in Seattle this afternoon. It's already been paid for by me, not Jack Hyde.

I had a long talk with Maggie. She's agreed to relocate here. Once Ray gets settled in she's going to start working at GEH in the finance department. She sold me your house and I signed it over to you. So, you see there really isn't anything to worry about." He says like he's talking about the weather.

I stand there completely and utterly stunned. I have half a mind to ask him to repeat himself to make sure I just heard what I'm sure I just heard.

"Wha...what," I say. "Ray, my dad? He's coming here for rehab," I ask.

He nods yes.

"A team of specialist examined him and his chances for recovery are good. They recommended a rehab facility here and he's on his way. He'll be here this afternoon," He says.

"With Maggie, she's coming too," I ask and he nods.

"Absolutely, we couldn't leave her behind. She was worried about leaving her job. So I inquired about her to her employers. They have nothing but praise for her. Apparently she's a well respected accountant for her firm," He says and I nod in agreement.

"You own my house," I blurt out as that part finally registers.

"No," he says. "I bought your house for you. You own it. Maggies going to use that money to relocate."

"But Jack, he gave me money. Thirty thousand dollars to sleep with him," I confess in shame.

"I know," he says tightly closing his eyes. "Reilly filled me in. You don't owe him a damn thing Anastasia, forget about him."

"But he's going to want his money back," I tell him.

"Let him, he's not getting it," he shrugs. "What's he going to do call the cops? Sue you? What's he going to say that won't land his ass in jail?"

"He can say I stole it," I tell him.

"There's no evidence of that. There's no evidence that you've ever had that much money in your account at all," He says.

He goes to his desk, grabs and envelope and hands it to me.

"Account information. The money is yours do spend how you wish," He says.

"What did you do," I ask him.

"What I had to do to protect you," he says simply.

"But why," I ask him.

"You know why," He whispers to me.

"No! I can't let you this," I say shaking my head.

"It's done," He says

"Then undo it. Undo all of it. I don't want any of this from you," I tell him putting the envelope back on his desk.

"Why the hell not," He asks and I know he's hurt.

"Because it's not right," I tell him.

"You won't accept help from me, but you'll sell yourself to that fucker Hyde," he yells.

"Fuck you," I say heading for the door hoping I make it out before my tears fall.

"Shit! baby wait," He runs after me and stops me before I reach the door.

"I'm sorry," He says as he turns me around and wipes away my tears that are now falling freely. "I didn't mean that, baby please, forgive me. I'm sorry."

"It's true though," I tell him.

"No it's not true. Not the way I made it sound. I just said that to hurt you," he says. "When I think about how scared and desperate you must have felt. This is my fault I should have been there to help you."

"That's not true. Beside you didn't even know. No one did," I tell him.

"Why didn't you come to, Anastasia? Don't you know I would move heaven and earth to help you," he asks.

I nod. Yes I know.

"I couldn't. You had moved on and I didn't think it would be right for me to come to you when you had a new girlfriend….sub or whatever she is," I told him.

"What are you talking about," he asks confused.

"The woman you were out celebrating with, Ros Baily. I saw the article I know she works with you but you two seemed really close," I say to him feeling guilty now having just slept in her bed last night.

"Yes, we are close. Ros works for me. She's my right hand. And she's also a lesbian," He says

"Okay, but...wait what? A lesbian really," I ask and he nods

"So you two aren't together," I ask.

"She has a wife, Gwen," He says smirking at me.

"Oh God I'm such an idiot," I tell him truthfully.

"Anastasia, Let me help you. If not for you, then let me do it for your dad," He says.

"It's different with you than with Jack because I care about you and I don't want…"I start.

"Anastasia, there are no strings attached. There's no pressure. I'm not doing this to have a hold over you. If you walk out of here and want nothing else to do with me everything still stands. I'm not using it as leverage. I just want to help you," he says.

"Thank you," I tell him.

"Thank you for letting me," he tells me in return.

"I wasn't going to," I tell him and he frowns in confusions. "Hyde. I had backed out. He told me he would never let me go and I got scared. I tried to run but he grabbed me and held the knife to my side. I was trapped. If you hadn't come."

"Shhhhh. It's okay baby, I'm so sorry that happened to you," he says holding me close for a moment. "Come sit down I need to talk to you."

"You mentioned being drugged," He starts gently.

"Yes. Jack and I started hanging out a lot. He said that he… he showed me pictures of me in my apartment naked. Some were with him...I was touching him. He says he has video of me but he didn't say what I was doing or if he and I…."

"Anastasia, I think you need to be examined by a doctor," He says and I know he's right

"I'll make an appointment to see my doctor," I agree with him.

"I have someone coming in to see you. She's a gynecologist. Her name is Dr. Green," He tells me.

My God he does it all.

"Today? What time," I ask and he tells me she's on her way now.

"Okay. Umm but why can't I go home?"

He looks at me, picks up his phone and calls Taylor.

"Send Sawyer in," he says and hangs up.

"Sawyer," I ask confused.

"Your personal protection," He says simply.

"My what? Why do I need that," I ask

"Jack Hyde is a threat Anastasia. He held you at knife point. He was forcing you to go with him against your will. He drugged you. He may have…he knows where you live, baby." Just as he's finish justifying all the reasons I need protection. A very tall attractive man walks in.

"Anastasia, this is Luke Sawyer, your CPO." He says.

"Nice to meet you Ma'am," Luke Sawyer says.

"You too Mr. Sawyer," I tell him shaking his hand.

"Just Sawyer will do, Ma'am," He says much too seriously. He reminds of Taylor.

"Okay Sawyer," I smile at him.

"I still don't think this is necessary. It seems a bit much," I turn back to Christian.

"If I may, Sir," Sawyer asks for permission to speak freely and Christian nods.

"Ma'am, I was watching you and Jack Hyde interact at the restaurant," He says. I look over at Christian who just shrugs.

"He is a viable threat. With an obsession for you. If I had to guess, I would say that he has been obsessing over you since you began working as an intern at SIP. I would also guess that he set things in motion for you to become his assistant putting you in direct and constant contact with him. He befriended you. He made sure you were dependent upon him in a vulnerable moment in your life. He manipulated you. He planned on kidnapping you and…"

That's enough Sawyer," Christian interrupts him when he sees me getting upset.

"I didn't mean to upset you ma'am but you need to be aware of what you're dealing with. Jack Hyde's behavior has escalated very quickly in a short amount of time making him very unpredictable. As your CPO, your safety would be my only priority. I can assure you, I wouldn't agree to it if it wasn't necessary ma'am," He says.

"Okay. Okay you can be my CPO. But please stop calling me Ma'am," I beg of him.

"Of course, Ma'a... Ms. Steele," He says and I do believe he cracked a smile.

Christian dismisses Sawyer. And I put my head in my hands

"Baby, I know it's a lot to take in, but Sawyer will be as discreet as possible. He won't interfere with your everyday life. Pretty soon you'll forget he's even there," He says.

It's not just that, it's everything," I tell him and he nods. "I'm so ashamed of myself for this mess I've gotten myself into. Hey, you still haven't answered me, why can't I go back to my apartment."

"Well you can now, as long as you take Sawyer with you. Welch, my security advisor, has already put in new locks on your doors and windows and an alarm system complete with video surveillance," He says.

"Darn, no panic room," I ask smiling.

"He tried but, I would have to purchase the building to get the renovations approved," He says seriously and I can see the wheels going in his head.

"No, I was just joking. It...It was a joke," I tell him waving my hand no.

He flashes me a smile.

"But to be completely honest, I would like you to stay here a few more days. Just so that I know you're really alright. You've been through a lot lately and I want to take care of you." He says.

"I just can't invade your life and your home," I tell him looking around the office. "I'm sure you have a sub by now and I don't know how it would work with me here."

"Anastasia, for crying out loud, I don't have a sub. I haven't been with anyone else since the day I met you. I've been waiting for you. I want you. No one else will do," He tells me.

I blush blood red

"You haven't been with anyone at all," I ask him to confirm.

"No one," he whispers and that's all I needed to hear.

I run to him tangle my fingers in his hair and bring his lips to mine. The kiss is sweet and gentle at first, but it quickly becomes more. Our tongues meet in a frantic dance. I need to feel him close to me.

I begin to undress him. Not wanting to touch his chest I move for his pants instead. He quickly grabs my wrist and stills my hands.

"No," he says.

I look into his eyes and he just stares back me

He doesn't want me.

"You don't want me," I ask him.

"What," he whispers. I try to back away but he holds me in place. "Yes I want you."

"Look at me," he demands but I won't meet his gaze. He holds my chin with his fingers and lifts my head. "You're all I think about."

I try to shake my head out of his hands but he holds tight.

"Hey. I've always wanted you, since the first time I saw you. You know that."

He takes my hand and presses it against his rock hard erection and moans.

"Does this feel like I don't want you," he asks.

"Then why did you stop me," I ask him, confused.

Just then Taylor enters and announces Dr. Green is here to see me. I turn to Christian.

"Is that why you won't. Because he ruined me for you," I ask.

"Fuck Anastasia, listen to me goddamnit! There is nothing that will ever make me stop…stop…caring about you or wanting you. You are beautiful, smart, and sexy as hell and nothing can take that away from you," He says.

He kisses me gently on the lips and holds me close.

"Do you want me to send her away, baby," he asks

I shake my head no.

….

He introduces me to Dr. Green and tells me he'll wait for me downstairs. He caresses my check before heading out of the room and closing the door.

I take a deep breath preparing myself for my fate.

Christian's POV

I head downstairs and anxiously wait for Anastasia. I find myself checking the time every few minutes. I know there are a million things I need to be doing, but none of that shit matters now.

Fuck if that son of a bitch hurt her….no I need to focus on her. I need to let her know that it won't change anything. I'll want her no matter what. She's mine.

"Mr. Grey." Dr. Greene calls and brings me out of my thoughts

I look beyond her for any signs of Anastasia.

"Ana is getting dressed." She says "We're all done. I gave her my contact information and let her know she can call me for any concerns."

"Concerns," I ask.

"Yes, she's been through a very traumatic experience. It can mess with the mind. I recommended that she see someone. It wouldn't hurt to have a professional to talk to." She says.

Taylor appears to escort her out.

"Good day Mr. Grey," she says leaving.

SON OF A BITCH! HE'S FUCKING DEAD!

Fuck! I need to call Flynn. He can recommend someone for her to talk to. A support group might be good.

I stand there not sure if I should go upstairs or wait here for her to come down.

Maybe she wants to be alone. What if she thinks I don't want to see her?

The decision was made for me when she comes racing down the stairs with a mile wide smile on her face.

Why is she so happy? Did I miss something? Did I get it wrong?

She takes one look at me. Before I realize her intentions, she runs towards me jumping full force into my arms. Her body is now flush against mine. Her arms are wrapped around my neck dangerously close to my upper back. I fight the urge to throw her off of me. The surprise of the sudden contact causes my entire body to stiffen up. She becomes rigid as a result and makes a move to disengage herself from me.

I hold her tighter and pull her legs up so they are now wrapped around my waist. She moves her hands up and interlocks her fingers behind my head. She leans back a little to separate our chests.

"Sorry, Sir," she says and I shake my head to tell her I'm alright.

"So does this mean everything is okay," I ask her.

Please be okay

"I'm still a…I'm okay," She says and kisses me.

I walk us over to the couch but I trip on the coffee table sending me falling backward. I fall back flat on the couch and she falls flat on top of me. She tries to get up but I pull her down into a kiss. I press her into me, loving the feeling of her body molded into mine. My fingers dive into her hair. I make a move to lift up her shirt when we hear a audible gasp.

We turn our heads to see a very shocked Gail staring at us. Her eyes are wide and her hands are pressed against her mouth effectively keeping her quiet.

I can't help but smirk at the sight of her, but Anastasia blushes bright red as she clumsily raises herself off of me.

"Gail," I call to her.

"I'm terribly sorry Mr Grey, I was just about to make sandwiches for lunch," She says.

"Excellent," I tell her as I get off the couch and take my girl's hands to help her up. "We cant wait. We'll be upstairs. Have Taylor come and get us when its ready."

Anastasia gives a shy wave to Gail as she passes her by. Gail smiles brightly at her in disbelief.

I lead Anastasia into her room. We wait until the door closes before we start to laugh.

"Oh God, I'm so embarrassed," She says hiding the heat on her face with her hands.

"Don't be. As many times as I've walked in on her and Taylor, Turnabout is fair play," I tell her.

"But she looked like she was about to have a heart attack," She tells me.

"Well she's never seen me….she's never seen anyone as close to me as you were just now." I tell her

"She's never caught you with your other submissives before," She asks surprised.

I shake my head no

"First of all you are not my submissive, and second of all my submissives before I met you were true submissives. Never were they allowed to touch me so freely. In fact they never touched me at all," I explain to her.

"So if I was to become your submissive, I wouldn't be allowed to touch you anymore," she asks

"Are you saying you want to be my submissive," I ask her.

"Well.." she starts but I interrupt her.

"Anastasia, you and I, we are far beyond that, we are far beyond anything I've ever experienced. I don't know what this is between us but when I'm with you, the Dominate in me disappears," I confess to her.

"Well find him," she says to me.

I look at her in total confusion.

"I want him back. He was mine and you have no right to take him from me," she pouts

"Are you serious," I ask her unable to believe what I'm hearing.

"Yes," She says "I need him. I've been so lost without him" she whispers.

I look at her dumbfounded

"But what about 'normal'," I ask her.

"Shit, Anastasia since I lost you, I've been trying my best to be normal Joe Schmoe here because I thought that's what you wanted and …what are you telling me now," I pull my fingers through my hair completely frustrated.

This girl, I swear she's fucking killing me.

"This is normal! Me here with you is my normal! It's what I want! I was confused before. I was stupid. But you were right. You were right about all of it. I want happiness. I want fulfillment. I want passion. I want peace of mind knowing that the person I'm with accepts me for who I am," She repeats the words I spoke to her.

"Finally," I whisper as I bring her into me causing her to giggle.

I kiss her long and hard, savoring the taste of her.

The sound of her moan gets me uncomfortably hard.

"Mmmm baby..." I moan

"I like it when you call that," She says and I smile.

Ana's POV

"Really? What else would you like me to do, Ms. Steele," He asks.

Ms Steele? Yes! My Dom is back!


	24. Thank You for my Reward Sir.

Chapter 24

Thank You for my Reward Sir.

Ana's POV

I was about to respond to him when there was a knock on the door.

"Great! Can we not have one fucking moment," Christian asks angry.

"What," He yells as he opens the door to find Taylor standing there.

"Sorry to bother you sir, lunch is ready. Well you be eating downstairs or shall we bring it up here to Ms Steele's room," Taylor asks.

"We'll be right down Taylor," He says closing the door.

"Sir? Why do you call this my room," I ask him.

"Because I'm hoping you will stay awhile. You've been through a lot. I don't like the idea of you being alone right now. At least stay until we get a better handle on Hyde," He asks.

I nod okay because I don't have enough fight in me to argue right now. I probably wouldn't fight much anyway. I have missed him and I like the idea of being here with him for a while.

"Good," He says and relaxes a little. "Come on lets have lunch."

"Wait, Sir. If I'm going to be staying here for a few days I'm going to need to go get some clothes and my cell phone and stuff," I tell him.

"Your things are waiting for you downstairs," He tells me.

"What? When did you do that? How do you that," I ask him.

"Come," He says.

I grab hold of his extended hand and we head downstairs.

"Mags," I yell running to her with open arms. "Oh my God you're here? I mean here, Here" I say looking over at Christian.

"Yes. Well a little birdie told me that you were in need of a few things so I packed something up and brought it right over," She says

"Oh my god Mags. Thank you. How are you? How's dad?" I ask her.

"Well thanks to Mr. Grey here, we both are going to be okay," She says tearing up and I hug her.

"No need to thank me Maggie, and please call me Christian," He says and I look at him and scowl.

Why can't I call him Christian?

"Christain," Mags says correcting herself. "We owe you more than a thanks. On top of everything you've already done, you are allowing me to live here until I find a place for me and Ray."

"Here," I ask.

"A few floors down," she says.

"Well maybe I can stay down there with you," I tell Mags looking over at Christian.

"No, the apartment is quite small," Christain quickly chimes in. "You two wouldn't be that comfortable. Shall we eat," he asks effectively ending the conversation.

As he heads for the kitchen, Mags snickers at me as I smirk at her.

I thought the three of us eating together would be awkward but it's the complete opposite. Mags and Christain are conversing like old friends talking about everything from business and finance to me when I was younger. I blush at all the embarrassing stories she tells him about my mishaps growing up.

After a while she excuses herself saying that she needed to get settled in downstairs before meeting my dad at the rehab facility. I tell her that we will go together and I'll come and get her in a little while. I hug her before she enters the elevator.

"I can see why you love her so much," Christain says as I jump back up on the bar stool.

"Yeah she's great. I'm so glad my dad has her," I tell him.

"Sir," I start but he stops me.

"Anastasia don't," he warns me.

"It's too much. What you're doing. It's all too much. God when I think about the amount of money you've spent in the last day alone to help me. I can't…."

"Anastasia the money is nothing. I don't even notice its missing. I could do what I did for you a hundred times over and not even notice the money was missing. I know it seems like a lot to you but to me it's like I'm buying a fucking cup of coffee," He tells me and I know it's only to make me feel better about things.

"That's not true and you know it," I tell him.

"Anastasia, I'm not trying to trivialize it. I know it's a substantial amount of money to you but it's not to me. If I can do this to make your life easier, let me," he says.

"I don't know...I'

"Anastasia enough," he yells surprising me a little and I quickly lower my gaze. He stalks toward me.

"Look at me," he commands and I quickly obey.

When he sees the desire in my eyes he begins to lose his edge and my Dom is retreating once again.

No don't let him go. I need him.

I lower my gaze again purposely disobeying the command

"Ms. Steele," he calls me harshly.

"Mmmm yes Sir," I answer. Not knowing why that turns me on.

He comes closer to me and nuzzles my neck running his nose up to my ear.

"Are you my good girl," he demands.

"Ohhh yes, Sir," I tell him.

I missed this. Oh God I'm getting wet.

"Then there will be no more talk about this, do you understand," He demands.

"Yes, Sir," I comply.

"Mmmm that's my girl," He says. "Remind me to reward you later."

Later? Why not now? I want it now.

"Your dad," He reminds me as if he was reading my thoughts again.

"Damnit," I say hoping off the stool making Christian laugh at my sudden cool down.

I look through the bags, find the one I need and race up the stairs to change.

Twenty minutes later I come back downstairs to find Christian and Sawyer talking.

I wait in the great room for him to finish up. I sit at the piano and study the keys.

"Are you ever going to play for me," I ask Christian as he walks up to me.

"Of course, I will very soon," He says. "Sawyer is waiting by the elevator to take you and Maggie to see your dad."

"Oh okay," I say disappointed.

"Anastasia," he calls to me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just thought you were coming too," I tell him.

"Do you want me come," he ask.

"I know your busy," I tell him.

"You didn't answer my question. Do you want me come with you, Anastasia," he asks again

"Yes," I whisper to him. "I'm scared to go alone. What if Jack finds me?"

"Oh baby, come here," he pulls me off the piano bench and into his arms holding me tight.

"I will never let anything happen to you. Someone will always be there to protect you. I'm sorry Sawyer and I scared you earlier. I should have kept it from you you," He says.

I shake my head

"No. I don't want you keeping things from me to protect me. It's better that I know so that I can be prepared. Besides, I was scared before. I just hid it better. The fact that he's still after me and he has pictures of me and video doing God knows what. How am I going to work with him on Monday?"

"Okay, let's take one day at a time okay. Right now we're going to go see your dad. We will deal with the rest as it comes. Now, come on I'm sure seeing you will do him good," He says

He takes my hand and we walk to the elevator.

Taylor is now waiting next to Sawyer. I look at him. He catches my stare and I can't help but smile. He surprises me with a wink and I stifle my giggle. That gets Christian's attention. He looks from me to Taylor to Sawyer and back again trying to figure out what's going on.

Finally he settles on Taylor.

"You want to share with the rest of us Taylor," he asks coldly.

"Not at all, Mr. Grey," Taylor answers just as coldly.

We descend the elevator in awkward silence. I nudge Christian playfully with my elbow. He smiles down at me and pulls me close.

…

The visit with my dad was just what I needed. We had a care plan meeting with his doctors, along with his physical and occupational therapist. They feel his prognosis is very good. Mags is acting like her old self again. It's like the weight of the world has been lifted off of her shoulders now that dad is getting the care he needs. She is very excited to have this fresh start in Seattle.

...

Christian's POV

We arrive back at Escala well into the afternoon and I can tell my girl is exhausted from all of the excitement of seeing her dad. Now that we're finally home our only priorities are food and relaxation.

After dinner, we decided on watching a movie. I'm sitting here trying to focus on whatever this chick flick is that Anastasia swears I'm going to love, but the only thing I can focus on is the feel of her breast pressed into me as she snuggles up close. I wrap her in my arms and run my fingers through her hair. I lower my nose to her head and inhale deeply. Her scent has aroused me and I hope she doesn't notice the sudden rise in my pants. I realize I shouldn't have worried as I look down to find her fast asleep.

I turn off the move scoop her up in my arms and carry her to bed. The sudden movement wakes her.

"It's okay, it's just me baby," I whisper to her. She sighs and lays her head on my shoulder. I help her to quickly change and get tucked in. I kiss her goodnight and make my way down to my room.

As I lay alone in bed it is taking every ounce of self control I have to not go upstairs and take her. I know it's not the right time. After all she's been through, the last thing she needs is me putting pressure on her for sex. I don't want her to think that's all we're about. I want her to know that I truly care for her.

But Damnit I want her and I want her now.

I sit up and reach for my phone to check the message I heard just come in.

Anastasia: "May I have my reward tonight sir?"

Fuck me!

...

Ana's POV

I'm lying here alone in this big empty bed and I don't like it. I want to be with Christian tonight. When I think about everything that's happened and everything that could have happened with Jack Hyde, It makes me sick. I think of how desperate I was that I was willing to give myself to him and to have him be the first man to..no I shouldn't focus on that. I'm with Christian now and I'm not going to let Jack Hyde ruin another second of it.

I know Christian thinks I'm not ready, to go back into the playroom. I know he thinks I must be scared, but I'm not. I want to be with him. I have for so long and now there isn't anything standing in our way.

I sent Christian a text message, but he didn't respond. I guess he must be sleeping. I don't feel comfortable going to his room without permission so I just stay put. I close my eyes and try to sleep.

After a moment of tossing and turning I stop and listen when my bedroom door slowly opens. The scent of him hits me as he kneels down at the head of my bed.

"My good girl wants her reward, is that right Ms. Steele," he asks.

"Yes please Sir," I beg of him

"Get up," he commands and I quickly obey.

He turns on the bedside lamp and the site of him takes my breath away.

Holy fuck he's naked.

I quickly lower my gaze, but not before noticing his extremely large erection.

"Take off your clothes," He commands and I obey.

I strip out of my pajama bottoms and top, leaving on my underwear.

"Your panties," He demands and I quickly slip them off

Fuck I'm already so wet for him.

"What are your safe words Anastasia," he demands

"Yellow and red, Sir," I answer him quickly.

"Look at me," he commands and I quickly obey.

"Shall I meet you in the playroom Sir," I ask my breathing becoming very erratic.

He shakes his head no

"No time for that," He says rushing toward me. He picks me up, throws my flat on the bed and straddles me.

He kisses me hard and full on the lips.

"Hands above your head," he commands.

I quickly stretch my arms high above my head

"Don't move them, or I will stop, do you understand," he demands.

"Yes," I say.

He ducks his head and bites my nipple.

"Yes what," he demands with my nipple still caught hard between his teeth

Oh FuckFuckFuckFuck yesss

"YES!YES!SIR," I scream out and he smiles knowing that my outburst wasn't in answer to his question. He lets it slide anyway and begins to suck hard moving from one nipple to the next.

I buck and squirm in pleasure underneath him.

He makes his way down and settles himself between my thighs.

"Your Safe words, Anastasia," he demands.

My What? Oh God I can't think! 

"Yellowred... Please Sir," I beg him.

"Mmmm good girl," he says.

"Oh yes, Sir" I answer without permission and he pinches my inner thigh making me cry out.

I lift my head in time to see him duck down. I can feel his breath warm on my hard wet clit.

I catch my breath when he looks up and his eyes lock with mine.

He darts his tongue out and flicks my clit.

"Oh my god," I scream as I throw my head back against the bed.

Somewhere In the back of my mind I am so glad he didn't demand I keep quiet.

I am lost in the sensation as he flicks and sucks my clit.

Oh god I'm going to cum

...

Christian's POV

I flick her clit and then suck it hard I like know she likes it.

I've been waiting to do this for so long. I can't get enough of her. I want to lick every inch of this sweet little pussy I have laid out just for me.

I look at her and she has lost all control.

Fuck I love seeing her like this.

I know she's close. The sight of her bucking and squirming as I bring her closer to the edge, is about to make me blow my load.

"Please sir! Please," she yells out. I want to make her wait, but looking at her, I know she can't'.

"Cum, Anastasia give it to me," I demand as I nip and suck her clit.

I feel the muscles of her legs tighten and her pussy starts to spasm.

She screams as she cums hard drenching my face in her juices. I continue to flick her clit riding out her orgasm with her.

When she's done she tries to close her legs but I hold them open as I lick her clean. She begins to squirm away from my mouth and giggle every time my tongue hits her sensitive clit.

I crawl back up her body and move her arms that she still has outstretched and place them down at her sides.

She lifts her hips and tucks her hands under her butt. I smile down at her as I play with hair.

"You taste so good," I tell her and she blushes as she tries to hide her face from me, but I hold her steady.

"I want to taste you again, are you ready," I ask her

"Yes Sir," she breaths out.

Mmmm that's right baby

I flip us over so that she is now on top of me. I direct her to straddle me and sit up. I guide her up over me until her pussy is directly over my mouth.

She grips the head board and moans loudly as I begin to taste her.

Instinctively she rocks her hips over my mouth moving back and forth.

I imagine her riding my dick as I grab hold of myself and start jerking off.

My moaning and the sudden jerking of my body stills her.

She rises up and looks down at me.

She stares into my eyes as if asking me for permission. She bites down on that fucking lip and, fuck me I know what she wants to do with that sexy mouth.

I nod and she quickly repositions herself so that her mouth is now hovering over my dick in a sixty nine position.

She takes hold and without warning, she plunges it deep in her mouth.

"Fuck" I nearly cum.

It's taking everything I have to resist the urge to buck into her mouth full force.

I try to focus on my task at hand, but the feel of that mouth on my dick. My fantasies never did her justice. I have to stop and enjoy this.

She takes me deep within her mouth. I hit the back of her throat and she brings me all the way out again sucking hard on my tip.

Oh fuck yess. Just like that baby.

She wiggles her pussy in my face and I smack her hard on the ass causing her to moan.

I focus on her again. I dive in the juices of that sweet pussy. Licking and sucking her hard. She tries to move but I hug her hips with both arms keeping her steady. I continue to slap her ass and her thighs as she moans. My tongue goes to work on her clit twirling it into a tight ball and sucking it loose.

I feel her muscles tighten once again and I know she's close. She begins to shake and moan, and just when she is about to release I stop my movement. She moans an objection.

"Not yet, baby wait for me," I command of her and continue to suck her clit.

She works me harder now. She grabs hold of the base of my dick and squeezes hard as she pumps her hands. Her head is bobbing up and down faster as she takes me into her mouth and sucks me out.

Oh fuck yess yess baby yess shit.

"Now," I command and bite down on her clit.

She moans loudly she stills her movements as she cums which causes me to buck up into her mouth as I cum hard.

I hit the back of her throat and she swallows.

"Oh fuck me! Yess. Ssssssshit ah Fuck," I yell out as she drains me.

I lay there trying hard to catch my breath.

I can't fucking move! What the fuck did she just do to me?!

She climbs off of me and positions herself at my side.

I glance over to see her wiping my cum from her lips with her fingers.

"Thank you for my reward, Sir," She says as she sucks her fingers clean.

Fuck! I know this girl is going to be the death of me. 

I need to head to my room, but I don't have the strength. I have just enough to turn her on her side. I cuddle into her, my chest against her back. I bury my nose into her hair and I quickly drift off to sleep.


	25. I Want to Call You Christian

Addicted To Love

Chapter 25

I Want to Call You Christian

Ana's POV

I wake up to the feel of Christian's arms wrapped tightly around me.

I turn to face him slowly so not to wake him.

For the first time I get to look at him unguarded. I reach out and trace the contours of his body letting my fingers hover above his skin.

Even though I'm not really touching him, I still avoid his no touch zones.

Knowing that he is sound asleep makes me bold. I slide the covers down and I'm about to expose his erection when he jumps up scaring me.

"Looking for something, specific Ms. Steele," he asks. His voice is hoarse from sleep.

Before I can answer he pounces. He straddles me and begins to tickle me like crazy. I 'm fighting him the best I can but it's no use.

Oh god I'm going to pee myself

"Pee…pee…I…needtopee," I manage to get out between breaths.

He gets up, hauls me out of bed and into the bathroom.

I go towards the toilet as he goes toward the bathtub.

He can't be serious. He is not going to stay in here while I pee.

"Um, Sir. Can I have a little privacy please," I ask him. He shrugs and exits the bathroom.

After I'm done, we soak in the bath, with him sitting behind me as I'm leaning back into his chest.

"Mmmm this feels good," I tell him as I let the feel of the hot water and his body next to mine relax me.

"Anastasia," he whispers to me.

"Sir," I answer.

"If you keep moaning like that, I won't be able to control myself and we will never get out of this bathtub in time for breakfast," He warns.

"Yes, Sir," I laugh.

…

After Gail serves us, she discreetly leaves the room.

As I am eating my pancakes, I get whip cream on my chin which makes Christian laugh. He leans over and sucks it clean then moves up to my mouth. He kisses me so deeply that it makes me moan.

He stands up and moves between my legs. He drags my shirt over my head exposing my breast.

"Sir, What if someone walks in," I ask knowing I would be mortified if Gail or god forbid Taylor or Sawyer came in on us.

"They won't," he says kissing me. "Do you think I would let anyone see you like this?"

I shake my head and relax into him.

He pulls down my shorts. I gasp when he lifts me up. He sits me on his shoulders giving me a reverse shoulder ride with my legs dangling down his back. His hands are high on my waist holding me up.

He walks us toward the couch. I panic that he might drop me, but then I am overtaken by the feel of his face which is now buried in my pussy. I have nothing else to grab, so I grab hold of the top of his while he goes to work on my clit. My legs begin to tighten and I know I'm close.

"Please..please," I pant out permission. Unable to answer, he slaps me on my ass and I hope that means cum because I do.

My orgasm overtakes me and I am unable to move. I am unable to speak.

Oh god please don't stop, please don't stop.

Wave after wave of pleasure hits me as my never ending orgasm leaves my body shaking and shattered.

Oh fuck it feels so good.

He keeps going until the last drop is out of me.

He quickly lowers me so that I slide down his body. I fall to my knees, pull down his pajama pants and pull his dick deep into my mouth.

"Fuck," he yells out as he bucks his hips into me. He places his hands on my head and guides me in and out of his mouth setting the rhythm. I suck hard as he bucks into me.

I reach around and grab his hips to still him.

"Fuck baby" is all he can manage as I take him completely in and swallow him down.

I feel the muscles of his hips begin to tighten. The moment I know he's close I stuff him in my mouth. I take my teeth and gently scrape them over the length of him as I pull him out.

"Oh Fuck, Anastasia!" he says as his sperm comes out in a long hot stream. I take him in again and suck his tip as he spills himself into my mouth. When he's all done I swallow the last bit of him then take my tongue and run it along his softening dick.

mmmm looks like I'm not the only one who likes a little pain

He scoops me up by my arms and we drop hard on the couch. He puts his arm around me as we try to catch our breath.

"Fuck Anastasia, what are you doing to me," he says between pants.

"Hopefully the same thing you just did to me, Sir." I answer him.

…..

"So we're alone now," I ask putting my pajama shirt and shorts back on.

"No," he says, "but they've been told not to interrupt us. Until we're done."

"But how would they know…do you have cameras in here," I ask him looking around.

"Yes but I turned them off," He says reading my mind and knowing I'm embarrassed.

He says waving a little remote control at me and I smirk at him.

"You are a control freak Mr. Grey," I tell him.

"Oh I exercise control in all things Ms Steele," he says getting up and to stand in front of me. "With the exception of you of course, you are just beyond my grasp."

He kisses me.

I pull back and lower my gaze

"Look at me," he whispers and I stare into his eyes. "What is it?"

"I don't want to be beyond your grasp," I tell him and he frowns.

"Do you want me to control you Anastasia," he asks me.

"Yes...No... Um," he gently pinches my chin and tugs my bottom lip free.

...

Christian's POV

"Tell me," I ask of her.

"I want us to really be together. It was so great before I blew it. I hate I wasn't strong enough to be myself before. I wasted so much time. But I want us back. I want to go back to the way we were before everything got so messed up. I miss the way we were," She says.

"I miss it too,"I confess to her. "So, you want it to be official now? You want to be my submissive again?"

She nods her head yes

"I want you to control me, but not all the time though…I mean I want to still be me… but sometimes, I like it when you take charge.

"When do you like it," I ask.

"When we do what we do. I like when you control it but I like when you let me do things without commanding me. Like just now and last night…um," She blushes and I have to stop myself from laughing at her.

This can't be the same girl who deep throated me into oblivion last night.

"So you also want some control in the bedroom? Okay what else do you want," I ask her pleased that she is finally opening up to me about exactly what she wants for us.

"I want to call you Christian. I want to look at you without permission," She says.

"Okay, how about when we are not in a scene you get to look at me and call me Christian. And when we are having sex outside of the playroom, you get to do what you want without permission," I ask her.

She smiles and quickly nods her head yes.

"What about punishments? Are you okay with being punished," I ask.

Please say yes

"Yes I like it," She says.

Fuck Me Right Now Baby!

"What about hard limits is there anything you want to add to your list?"

"Nope I'm good," she shrugs.

"What about the no sex clause," I ask mentally crossing my fingers.

"Well we already broke the no oral sex part," she says smugly. "I guess we can lift the rest of it."

Fuck! She's mine! SHE IS ALL MINE!

"Sir..Um Christian, Are you okay with us….I mean are you happy with me?"

YES! I AM ECSATIC! I AM EUPHORIC! I AM WRAPPED AROUND YOUR LITTLE FINGER! I AM YOUR LAP DOG! I AM READY TO GIVE YOU ALL THE KEYS AND SECURITY CODES!

"Yes," I say calmly "You please me a great deal, Ms Steele."

"Okay good," She smiles like a child at me.

God she's so fucking cute

…..

"Are you going to see your dad today," I ask her as we settle back down on the couch.

"Mags wants me to go with her and then she wants to go sightseeing and shopping, maybe grab lunch," She says.

"Sounds great, you two need to get out and have some fun. And definitely have lunch. It will all be my treat," I tell her.

"No way Christian, you've done so much for me already."

" I haven't done anything. If it was up to me you'd have a new car and a whole new wardrobe by now."

"What? Are you for real? Is that what you give all of your submissives," she asks.

And I cringe.

"Mhm for the most part," I tell her.

"Well no thank you," she says pouting now and I wisely let it go.

"Okay fine, no car and no wardrobe, for now. But I can at least buy you lunch and treat you to a day out," I compromise.

"Fine," she says getting up. "I'm going to go get ready."

"Good. I'll let Sawyer know you're going out." I tell her.

…..

An hour later she comes downstairs. Freshly showered and smelling good enough to eat. Literally.

"You look beautiful, baby," I tell her and she beams at me

"Thank you, Christian." She says sadly.

"What is it?" I ask her.

"I'm nervous. Are you sure it's okay to be out?" she asks.

"Do you trust me?" I ask her already knowing the answer

"You know I do." She whispers.

"Then go out and have fun. Don't worry about Hyde. I would let you know if there was something to worry about." I tell her and she nods.

"Sawyer's waiting for you. He'll take care of everything." I kiss her goodbye. "You're job is to relax and have fun. Say hello to Maggie for me" I tell her as the elevator doors close.

I head to my office to try and get some work done, but all I can't think about is Anastasia. It kills me to see her so afraid. Hopefully by the time she returns I'll have some news to put her mind at ease.

"Ros? What's the status on SIP?" I ask her anxious to know her progress.

"Do you know how many cocks I had to suck to get this shit transferred over this quickly?" she asks me. "You owe half the fucking state of Washington."

"You did it?" I ask her to confirm

"Yes, as of 12 am this morning, you are the proud owner of your very own publishing company. Don't know what the fuck you're going to do with it, but it's yours none the less." She says

"I knew you could do it." I tell her and hang up just as Taylor enters my office.

"Sir, Ms. Lincoln is downstairs. She is asking permission to come up and speak with you." he says.

"Did she cross paths with Ms Steele?" I ask him.

"No Sir." He has.

"Escort her up." I tell him and he nods

Fuck.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and commenting.


End file.
